Washington D.C., Nov 2, 2017 / 03:03 pm (CNA/EWTN News).- Death. It’s a subject seen as sad, morbid and fearful, something that people would rather not think about, and certainly not discuss.
Yet for Catholics, death is an essential part of the faith.
“For those who die in Christ’s grace it is a participation in the death of the Lord, so that they can also share his Resurrection,” reads the Catechism of the Catholic Church.
The celebration of the sacraments hearken for a kind of death: death to self, death as a consequence of sin, a remembrance of Christ’s death and entrance into eternal life.
As the 20th century priest Fr. Henri Nouwen remarked, “Dying is the most general human event, something we all have to do.”
The question, he asks, is “Do we do it well?”
Hiding from death
Advances in medicine and technology have drastically increased life expectancies in the past century. In 1915, most people would not expect to live past age 55. A child born in the US in 2017 is expected to see their 85th birthday.
As a result, death has become something distant and even foreign, argues Julie Masters, a professor and chair of the Department of Gerontology at the University of Nebraska, Omaha.
“We get lulled into thinking death doesn’t hit us very often, because it waits until people are very old,” she told CNA. “We know that younger people do die, that middle aged people do die, but in this country, the majority of people who die are going to be older people.”
The average American in the 21st century simply doesn’t have the experience with death that previous generations had, she said. And this lack of experience can lend itself to fear and a tendency to ignore the uncomfortable unknown of the future.
“So we’ll put it off until we have to talk about it, and when we do talk about it, then we get in a pickle because we’re not sure what people want,” Masters said.
Hiding from death can have other consequences, as well. Cultural unease and inexperience with death can affect how we approach loved ones as they die.
“If we’re uncomfortable with death, if someone is dying, we may be unwilling to visit them because we don’t know what to say, when in reality we don’t need to say anything,” Masters said. “We may be less available to comfort them.”
Avoidance of death can also impact vulnerable members of society who are not actively dying, Masters warned.
“Our uncomfortableness with dying may be symptomatic of our desire to control dying and death,” she said. When that control or the fear of becoming a “burden” gives way to conversations about physician-assisted suicide, she continued, “we look at the most vulnerable and say ‘are they really worthy of living, think of all the resources they’re taking up?’”
“Each step in that slope, it gets easier to get rid of people who are no longer valuable or are vulnerable. Yet don’t we learn from the vulnerable?” she questioned. “They’re the ones who teach the strong what’s most valuable in life.”
But Masters also sees a desire to move towards a broader discussion of how to die well. She pointed to the spread of Death Cafes and other guided discussion groups that encourage conversations about death, dying and preparation for the end of life.
Churches can offer a similar kinds of programming, she suggested: “People want to talk about it, they just need the place to do that.”
What does it mean to have a ‘happy death’?
While a person may plan for their death, ultimately the circumstances of one’s passing will be out of their control. However, everyone can aspire to a “good” or “happy” death, said Fr. Michael Witczak, an associate professor of liturgical studies at The Catholic University of America.
He told CNA that the essential qualities of a happy death are being in a state of grace and having a good relationship with God.
The idea of a happy death, or at the very least the aspiration of it, gained popular consideration in the Ars Moriendi – a collection of 15th Century Catholic works laying out the “Art of Dying,” he noted.
The texts elaborate on the temptations – such as despair – that face the dying, questions to ask the dying, advice for families and friends, how to imitate Christ’s life, and prayers for the bedside.
Resources such as these, from ages of the Church that had a more daily experience of death, Fr. Witczak suggested, can be a good resource for beginning to live “intentionally” and to think more about death and how to die well.
Masters agreed that intentionality is key in shifting the cultural mindset on death and dying.
“What if people approached death with the same joy that they greet the birth of a new baby?” she asked.
It’s a fitting analogue, she argues. Both processes – birth and death – are the defining markers of human life, and natural processes that all the living will experience. Both processes also open the door to a similar set of unknowns: What comes next? What will it be like afterwards? How will we cope?
She added that the modern tendency to view death with suspicion and trepidation – or to ignore it altogether – reflects something about the culture.
“If we’re so afraid of death and dying, I have to wonder if we’re also afraid of life and living.”
Last wishes
Discussing death is the first step in making practical preparations for it.
Without planning, Masters said, loved ones may not know a person’s preferences for treatment, finances, or funeral preparations, which can lead to sometimes sharp divides between friends and family. “When we get comfortable talking about death,” she noted, “we can let people know what our wishes are, so that hopefully our wishes are followed.”
Thorough planning includes setting advanced directives and establishing a power of attorney who can make medical decisions on one’s behalf if one is unable to do so.
It is also important to be aware of different care options in an individual’s geographic location. These include palliative care, which focuses on improving quality and length of life while decreasing the need for additional hospital visits. Not just limited to end-of-life situations, palliative care is available for a range of long-term illnesses, and seeks to relieve pain rather than cure an underlying condition.
Hospice care is also an option when the end of life approaches. At this point, the goal is no longer to extend the length of life, but to prepare for death, trying to alleviate pain and offer comfort, while also helping mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to prepare for death.
Funeral planning and creating a will are also important steps in the preparation process. Even for the young or those without material possessions, planning for one’s death can be useful for grieving friends and family members, Masters said. She explained that the idea of creating an “ethical will” is a Jewish tradition in which a person writes a letter or spiritual autobiography, leaving behind the values and morals they found important in their life to pass on to the next generation.
The practice, which is growing in popularity, is available to anyone “to put down into words what’s given their life meaning,” and can have special meaning for those who “feel, because they don’t have a lot of wealth or a lot of possessions, that they have nothing to leave their family.”
Masters pointed to a student of hers who wrote an ethical will shortly before passing away in college and the example of her own grandparents instilling the recitation of the Rosary as people who left behind some of their most meaningful gifts to their loved ones.
“It’s a testament to what that person believed in. What a gift that is!”
Paul Malley, president of the non-profit group Aging with Dignity, stressed that planning the more specific details of end-of-life care can help respect a person’s dignity during illness or on the deathbed.
“Those who are at the end of life, whether they may be suffering with a serious illness or disability, tend to have their dignity questioned,” he told CNA.
The sick and dying are often isolated, receiving care from medical professionals, he explained. And while advanced care planning often focuses on decisions regarding feeding tubes, ventilators, and other medical treatment options, that discussion “doesn’t tell your family anything about what dignified care means to you.”
“It’s important not to just talk about caregiving in terms of medical issues,” Malley stressed. “That’s a small fraction of a day – the rest of the day plays out at the bedside.”
Aging with Dignity promotes planning for acts of comfort, spiritual issues and family relationships in order to make the time surrounding death easier and more dignified for all involved.
“These issues were never talked about when it came to end-of-life care or advanced care planning.” Among some of the requests participants make, he elaborated, are small acts of comfort like cool cloths on a forehead, pictures of loved ones in a hospital room, favorite blankets on a bed, or requests for specific family or friends to come visit.
Planning to incorporate what Malley calls “the lost art of caregiving,” was important to his own family when his grandmother died. “One of the most important things for her was that she always wanted to have her feet poking out of the blanket because her feet were hot,” he recalled.
Although nurses and care providers would often bundle her feet up to try to keep her warm, her family was able to untuck her feet afterwards so she could stay comfortable.
“That might be something that sounds very trivial, very small, but for her, for my grandmother, laying in that bed where she couldn’t get up and couldn’t reach down to pull up her own blanket, having her feet stick out at the edge of the blanket was probably the most important thing to her all day long,” Malley said.
The end of the earthly pilgrimage
For Catholics, spiritual preparation for death should always include the sacraments, Fr. Witczak said.
The Sacrament of Reconciliation, important for all the faithful throughout their lives, is a particularly important spiritual medicine for those nearing death.
Additionally, Anointing of the Sick should be sought for those who have begun to be in danger of death due to sickness or old age, and it can be repeated if the sick person recovers and again becomes gravely ill, or if their condition becomes more grave.
“The Church wants people to celebrate the sacrament as often as they need to,” Fr. Witczak said.
The Eucharist can also be received at the end of life as “viaticum,” which means “with you on the way.”
“It’s receiving the Lord who will be with you on the way to the other side,” said Fr. Thomas Petri, O.P., vice president and academic dean at the Pontifical Faculty of the Immaculate Conception at the Dominican House of Studies.
He added that the Eucharist can be received as viaticum more than once, should a person recover, and can also be given even if someone has already received the Eucharist earlier during the day.
A good death is a gift
Prayer, reception of the sacraments, and seeking forgiveness from God and one another can mark death as a time of peace, Fr. Petri said. Death can also be a time of surprise, as it “either amplifies the way a person has lived their life or it causes a complete reversal,” with some people undergoing profound conversions or surprising hardenings of the heart during their last days.
“Much of it really does really on the will of God,” he reflected, adding that we should all pray for the grace of a holy death.
Dying a happy death is not only a blessing for the person dying, but can be a gift to others as well, Fr. Petri said, noting that family and friends can be drawn closer to one another and to God as the result of a holy death.
Masters agreed, adding that “the dying can serve as examples or role models,” by teaching others how to die without fear.
Ultimately, Fr. Witczak said, Christians “do” death differently because Christians “do” life differently.
“I think as human beings, death is a topic we’re afraid of and we’re told not to think about, and the Christian tradition keeps trying to bring it before people, not to scare people, but rather to remind people of their ultimate destiny,” he said.
“This is not simple and it’s something people ultimately have to learn for themselves, but it’s the important task of life. I think what the Church tries to do is to help people live their life fully and even live their death as an entryway into the life that is promised to us by Jesus Christ.”
Looking toward death and the vulnerability that surrounds it can be a vital way of encountering death – and overcoming the fear of it, he said.
Masters agreed, noting that those who have had encounters with death or profound suffering often “look at life differently.”
“They understand it is so fleeting. But because they know how close death is they look at life in a different way.”
For many people, this different approach to life includes an increased focus on family, friends and service, she said. “That’s how you’re remembered at the end of the day: what did you do for other people?”
Starting with even the most basic conversations about death, she added, can be beneficial for those wanting to confront mortality.
“When you can acknowledge that you’re going to die, you can begin to live your life.”
[…]
“Biden is in trouble with Catholic voters”.
The movie ‘The Way’ one of whose stars is Martin Sheen is being rereleased.
Martin Sheen played a very pro-choice ‘catholic’ president with a degree from Notre Dame in the series ‘The West Wing’.
In a scene toward the end of the series he smoked a cigarette which he snubbed out on the floor of a church during a soliloquy in the course of which he called almighty God a ‘sonofab…h’.
Now he is shilling for fellow ‘catholic’ Joe Biden.
Something doesn’t add up, or – maybe it does.
FYI – I have the original DVD and enjoy it.
Terence, I need to secure a copy of the original “The Way” myself. Last year I viewed the re-release and every change that they made diminished the movie from adding outtakes to changing at least 2 musical score. I love that movie and know it inside and out and the unfortunate changes were glaring.
Not to all: if given the choice between the two, go for the original release! It is a wonderful movie.
He is only a problem for The Faithful, although an unfaithful Catholic who desires to render onto Caesar or His/Her self what belongs to God is an oxymoron.
Interesting
So it would look like so-called catholics dont like either candidate. Well, they had better start to wake up and be truthful with themselves about the immense damage Biden and the democrats have done to the country. Millions for wars when we cant pave our roads, inflation, soaring violent crime in every city, open border issues and tax burden levied on our own poor to support illegals who have no business being here, on and on. Name one thing they have gotten right. Biden wants to give a free pass to the select group of students who took out loans, and in places like California, free college to illegals too. If you are hard pressed to buy gas, or groceries, or are afraid to go into your own city, you have reaped the rewards of voting for Biden and his ilk. Enjoy. My question to Democrat voters is , are you really that ill informed? Or is it that you just cant admit you were wrong to vote for the democrats?
So, it seems that so-called World Trade Center workers didn’t like either being burned alive or jumping from a building. Well, they had better have started to wake up and be truthful with themselves about the immense damage fire would do to their bodies and throw themselves out the windows.
Translation: You have two obvious choices. One of them is very bad. THAT DOES NOT PROVE THE OTHER OBVIOUS CHOICE IS NOT ALSO VERY BAD. What is needed is a GOOD option, not a lesser evil.
Outis;
You are correct in stating that what is needed is a GOOD option. Unfortunately one is not available this time, so – again – this is a hold your nose and cast your vote election.
Do you actually believe that voting for Donald Trump is equivalent to jumping out of the World Trade Center or perishing inside?
You know , there are readers of CWR who either have lost loved ones on 911 or are acquainted with people who have.
I know you don’t intend to cause distress and free speech is important but sometimes hyperbole isn’t the better choice.
There currently are only 2 candidates who have a chance of becoming president. I understand that in a perfect world we’d have a candidate that people of faith could endorse 100%. But these are the 2 choices we have and I know that things will only continue to unravel under 4 more years of a Biden administration. Or whichever Democrat takes his place. I want at least a little bit of our culture left for my grandchildren to inherit. Damage control is better than destruction.
US Constitution notwithstanding, non-religious things are being made to supercede religious; then the FBI and others are (supposedly) unable to resolve the divergence -or, they profess they are able to; later the Supreme Court tries to find ways to incorporate the dichotomies. As if there was any real and true answer to problems and their right resolution, through those approaches.
https://www.catholicworldreport.com/2024/04/19/biden-administration-redefines-sex-discrimination-in-title-ix-to-include-gender-identity-2/
https://www.catholicworldreport.com/2024/04/19/fbi-investigating-threats-against-multiple-faith-communities-in-pennsylvania/
Let’s face it, the general moral decay is causing the unraveling of the democratic form of government and we are heading toward totalitarian governments around the globe. Democracy demands a common morality, which we no longer have. Democracy was the product of the majority holding and practicing Judio Christian values. We no longer are the majority so we can’t expect our views to be upheld. Sadly, to say we are now becoming a persecuted minority. But on the bright side, we know that persecution brings purging and purity to the church : the more the persecution, the stronger we become, and we can expect triumph of Jesus in the end.
We’re still a Republic but it;s not going too well since we’re headed toward socialism. Lincoln remarked in his G address:”Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure.”.. basically an experiment. If the CCP comes though I’m not doing what they tell me.
Outis, I agree. To vote for the lesser of two evils, is to vote for evil. At this point it may may be better not to endorse or vote for either candidate since both pose serious danger to our country and society. Is there enough evidence to convict either candidate of being a Christian? This is not to say that a goojd candidate needs to be a Christian, but I think we can insist on one who promotes and practices the Judio Christian morality which has been the backbone of our democratic society.
Yes, Outis, there is no perfect option.
But see my comment below for a description of the worst of the two voting choices.
And I didn’t even mention the most horrendous Democratic policy ever — abortion, the absolutely worst, most horrific holocaust ever visited upon humanity.
More than a *billion* — yes, that’s Billion with a ‘B’ — children slaughtered around the world over the past 51 years.
And half of Catholics voted for it.
Now, go ahead. Tell me how boorish and loud Trump can be.
Your TDS is getting a little annoying and redundant at this point. There is no “better” option – we have the candidates we have. We have a responsibility to cast a vote that is the better or the two options. If you honestly think that Biden is the better option, you have had your head in the sand for the past several years.
Athanasius, Trump Derangement Syndrome made sense when it was possible to differentiate the issues he would be leading and CHANGING. Now, however, one thing melds into another and Trump demonstrates that he is free to do as he chooses yet always now to be bound to the shuttle.
Did you know TDS also stands for three times a day (in Latin) as well as Time Driven Switching and Total Dissolved Solids – among other unmentionables that look as bad on Trump as on Biden. Or as nice.
Outis: Let me get this straight. You believe that the man, through his concrete actions, his judicial appointments, at all levels, his restructuring of foreign aid and his executive orders that affected the saving of more human lives than the actions of any individual in the entirety of human history is irredeemably evil in your divine assistant judgment? Or is it that you reject the Christian notion that whatever a reprobate past a man might have had, can always be redeemed?
I agree with this! We need to vote for the lesser of two evils and not throw our vote away on a 3rd Party candidate who has no chance of winning.
Of course, abortion is the key issue, along with Pres. Biden’s misguided and unscientific support of IVF, and of gender-transition treatment being made available to children (which many scientists and medical professionals have spoken against). T
But the issue of forgiving student loans–this is awful! Where is the money coming from, and what happens to the financial health of the nation when these loans are simply sent “out to the cornfield?” (See famous Twilight Zone episode “It’s a Good Life.”)?
And what precedent does this set for the “forgiveness” of other financial obligations?
What’s needed is better education of young people about their many options after graduating from high school! An expensive four-year-college is not necessarily the best way for everyone to go! Young people, especially minority young people, as well as teens whose parents did not attend college, don’t get the full information package that they need to make a wise decision about what to do after graduating from high school. E.g., many of the medical professions only require a two-year degree from a junior college–and then the option becomes available to earn the B.S. from a four-year college to move up the professional “ladder”–and sometimes, the hospital will pay for that continuing education! How many young people know about this?! Or know about the skilled trades, which require a trade school or apprenticeship (some of these apprenticeships are paid!) and earn high salaries?
Better career counselling–not LOAN FORGIVENESS, students is needed across the country!
Vote wisely, friends.
The Democratic Party is a death cult.
To Democrats, sterilizing children is even better than aborting them. Because a woman who has an abortion might someday give birth again.
But a child who is sterilized can never procreate.
Legalizing drugs; gay “marriage”; the sexualization of children; the green new poverty; the open border fentanyl conduit; the denial of the biologically determined sexes; the racist, divisive CRT curriculum — everything the Democratic Party advocates is aimed at restricting life and promoting death.
Death is the Democratic Party’s central tenet.
Catholics who vote Democratic, look to your souls.
Perhaps those who vote Republican will be held to the same standard for the accountability of their souls! Just perhaps. 😇
Perhaps you will tell us EXACTLY what it is that Trump did that was so horrific??
Moving the US embassy after decades of promises to Jerusalem? The Abraham Accords? Energy independence? A booming economy? Leadership shown during covid? Yes indeed, horrific. I have asked that question of many people but NEVER get a coherent answer.Likely because there isnt one, just ginned up media emotion based on lies, and a desire to act on pure spite, as have many of our democrat DA’s. The Russia collusion story was proven a hoax by the special counsel, who worked literal YEARS investigating.
As for J6, sorry but we have actually had RIOTS which did much more damage yet nobody was prosecuted. Many. Throwing ill old women in jail because they walked into the Capitol isn’t my idea of justice. In fact its more like McCarthyism. And nobody throws an “insurrection” without military support and arms. There were none there that day. The “insurrection” story is pure propaganda pablum fed to the ill-informed and credulous. So, what else have you got? The country was clearly MUCH better off under Trump. What we have now is crime, chaos, sexual perversion and the general destruction of our culture and civilization. You’d rather keep the country on that track than vote for Trump? I call that an ill-advised and pathetic exercise in self indulgence.
You can have as many wishes as you want about who you’d RATHER have running for office. But the reality is, this is who we HAVE. Throwing a toddler tantrum and staying home instead of voting guarantees that the party which makes lies and cheating a part of their platform, along with supporting a hundred other degenerate issues, will win. Men in little girls locker rooms,abnormal sex taught to grammar school kids, library drag queen performances for kids paid with taxpayer money, our military sitting ducks in the Middle East? Thank the democrats for that. If you support that stuff, vote Biden or Kennedy, or stay home. The moral weight of such a “win” will be entirely on you.You may get some personal satisfaction out of such an outcome but the country as we have known it will be destroyed.
Obviously, which is why we keep reminding ourselves of this all the time, unlike our lib counterparts who presume to appropriate the power of God rather than consider His wrath.
What will end it all for Biden is for a reporter to ask him one simple question: “Could tell us what today’s date is?” He won’t be able to answer correctly.
Either that or “What is the 4th Luminous Mystery?”
Outis has the best comment. You have to come up to it not keep trying to out-match it or trying to find something that can substitute.
The fact that a void persists for the time being even when it can be and has been spotted, is part of the formation of the action.
The first Civil War was relatively simple before the stakes got raised and things got complicated. Lincoln’s original issue was simply whether slavery should be extended into the Western territories, or not?
As for our high-stakes complications of today, one fantasy is to suppose that both presidential candidates get derailed prior to the conventions, and both parties have to scramble. Who would look good running against Harris? Probably anybody?
Another fantasy is for the defense to play the first of the three Trump trials something like this…buying silence from a prostitute (possibly to shield an election, or possibly for personal reasons, or both?); how is this tangled episode any different from Congress itself—on a huge scale and systematically—buying voter-support from client groups—with earmarks and trillion-dollar annual deficits in monopoly money instead of cathouse tokens…and now with a national debt of $34 Trillion or twice what it was only ten years ago?
I think that was actually our second civil war Mr.Peter. I hope we don’t suffer a third.
Good point about the first civil war, which could have been averted if Franklin’s Albany Plan of 1754 had been approved. Proposed was greater unity among the thirteen contiguous colonies, which might then have enabled a “commonwealth of nations.” No need, then for a War of Independence: a “civil war” rather than a total “revolution” of French vintage in 1789 and beyond.
But, as for a third civil war, what is the difference, if any, between thirteen separate but contiguous colonies and a polyhedral Church of contiguous facets but with no consistent and unifying center?
What does any of this really mean since the Catholic reliion is not viewed favorably by a majority of Catholics?
Clearly that was a typo where I misspelled religion in reference to the religion that most Catholics fail to view favorably.
Catholics should wash their hands of politics. Never did Christ tell his followers to go to Rome and write man-made laws. God gave us the Church and the Word of God to change the world. We have an allegiance to God and have no allegiance to a man-made government. Our leaders reside in our Church and not in Washington, DC. Our job on earth is to fill our Churches with Followers of Christ so everyone can hear the powerful Word of God —-that will solve many, many problems.
Render to Caesar what belongs to Caesar. Remember? Most Catholics dont live in a monastery and dont have the luxury of pretending we dont see what is happening in front of us. Politicians who change the laws to allow men in womens locker rooms, support euthanasia, or support the surgical mutilation of children should NEVER get the support of any catholic.In addition, since our tax dollars are used to fund such perversions, it is our responsibility to raise loud objections to that. Opting out of voting is not a real option. In fact it is totally irresponsible.Further, overly generous immigration regulations pushed by liberals means the country is barely christian anymore.( Have you seen those antisemitic demonstrations on the news lately??) Those who are not Christian have little to no interest in our religious and moral point of view. You must work with the tools at hand, even if they are not perfect.
Last year the number of abortions in the USA increased and the number of people attending church decreased—-we need more people in church to fix America. The man-made government in Washington DC is not part of God’s plan.
Very noble sounding, etc.
Cliche time – for every person who, in a fit of high moral dudgeon refuses to vote for Trump – that’s one vote Joe Biden doesn’t have to worry about.
I repeat – hold your nose and cast your vote, but VOTE.
Exactly, Terrence.
If I was a Democrat operative I might consider planting comments in orthodox Christian sites encouraging high minded people to stay home on election day so as not to taint their conscience. Better to watch our nation self destruct as long as we can remain latter day Puritans.
To paraphrase the late, great Johnny Cash,I’d rather be a little less heavenly minded and do some earthly good.
🙂
The homilies aren’t exactly fire and brimstone anymore. Congregants need to walk away from mass shook up a little over guilt and feeling the need to do better, in my opinion.
Im voting for Trump simply because Deep State Washington hates him. That’s the only reason I need.
Principles over personalities! I’m voting for Trump!
I live in Canada and I for the life of me cannot figure out why a person would not vote for trump. There was peace, low gas prices etc under him. Yes he had mean tweets compare that to PF, Trudeau. His wife very lady like unlike past presidents and the ex of Trudeau who is on the trail trying to sell a book about her life with the juvenile. Trump didn’t take a pay check yet past & present president plus current cdn pM have become rich ! Crazy.
I can now see why roads to hell are paved with bishops and clergy. Their silence on these pro killing of babies is deafening.