Denver, Colo., Jun 11, 2017 / 04:07 pm (CNA).- One of music artist John Mayer’s most signature songs is “Daughters,” a sweet and simple tribute to the importance of parents’ influence on their little girls. Here’s the refrain:
“So fathers, be good to your daughters, Daughters will love like you do. Girls become lovers who turn into mothers, So mothers, be good to your daughters too.”
But when John Mayer isn’t crooning about your beautiful daughters, he’s looking at naked pictures of them, sometimes hundreds at a time before he gets out of bed in the morning. In fact, he often prefers that to an actual human being, according to his wildly controversial 2010 interview with Playboy magazine.
“You wake up in the morning, open a thumbnail page, and it leads to a Pandora’s box of visuals. There have probably been days when I saw 300 (naked women) before I got out of bed,” he told the magazine.
Unfortunately, Mayer’s morning routine is not unique to him. Studies show that easy access to free internet pornography is having devastating effects on real-life relationships.
Preferring pixels to people
“For many individuals, the more porn they consume, the more likely it is that they can end up preferring the fantasy to reality, they can end up preferring the pixels to a person, and that’s really messing up relationships, as you can imagine,” said Clay Olsen, co-founder of the internet movement “Fight the New Drug” (FTND).
The FTND movement, so named because of porn’s addictive properties, aims to raise awareness of the harmful effects of pornography through creative mediums such as blogs, videos and infographics. The website includes personal stories as well as scientific studies to illustrate pornography’s effects on the brain, the heart (relationships), and ultimately on the world.
“Our goal is to change the conversation from ‘Dude, check this out,’ to ‘Dude, that’s messed up,’” Olsen told CNA.
The longstanding, pervasive cultural narrative surrounding pornography is that it is a healthy sexual outlet and can improve sex lives. However, science begs to differ. Several studies cited in FTND’s article, “Porn Ruins Your Sex Life,” found that pornography not only leads to dissatisfying sex, it can lead to less sex with actual human beings.
In a series of studies examining pornography use, “The Social Costs of Pornography: A Collection of Papers” published by the Witherspoon Institute, researchers found that those who viewed pornography became less satisfied with their sex lives, and that viewing porn just once can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction towards a human partner.
According to an article in Psychology Today by clinical psychologist Tyger Latham, Psy.D, erectile dysfunction, while once considered an issue plaguing old men, is cropping up more in young men who rely heavily on pornography to become sexually aroused. A study by the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine surveyed 28,000 men on their internet porn habits, and found that porn use over time led to a lower sex drive and an eventual inability to become aroused at all.
“As soon as they try to actually get close to someone and commit to somebody and have an intimate relationship with somebody, it’s in those moments that the harms of pornography show their full colors and truly manifest themselves,” Olsen said. “The unrealistic expectations are completely exposed…
And we now see people in their 20s having porn-induced erectile dysfunction because they cannot get excited or aroused without the presence of pornography.”
A decline in marriage rates
Not only is pornography use destroying the physical sexual life, it may be impacting the number of people pursuing marriage or committed sexual relationships.
In the fall of 2013, an article in The Guardian sounded the alarm that fewer people in Japan were having sex, citing as evidence numerous statistics on the country’s declining birth rate, marriage rate, and even rates of young people who are dating or who are interested in dating.
A follow-up article on Slate found that while the actual number of people having or not having sex might not be definitively pinpointed, the statistics on falling marriage and birth rates only mean Japan is leading a world-wide trend, rather than bucking one. While it’s not clear whether porn is directly influencing these numbers, many have speculated that it is.
Researchers with The Institute for the Study of Labor (IZA) in Germany found an increase in free Internet pornography is at least correlated with a significant decrease in the percentage of young married men, and it may even be contributing to the trend. A 2013 Pew study found that 71 percent of single Americans were not looking for a committed relationship. Another study found that nearly 40 percent of American women had never been married.
“The results in this paper suggest that such an association exists, and that it is potentially quite large,” the study notes, as reported in the Washington Post.
The study used General Social Survey (GSS), a comprehensive, nationally representative survey which analyzed internet use of 1,500 men ages 18-to-35, between the years 2000 and 2004. The researchers studied the number of hours spent on the internet per week, how often internet pornography was used in the past 30 days, as well as other activities such as use of religious sites.
Even when adjusted for variables such as age, income, education, religion and employment, the study found that generally, the more a person used the internet, the less likely they were to be married. Additionally, it found that the more a person used internet pornography, the less likely they were to be married. On the other hand, the use of religious websites was positively correlated with marriage.
Mark Regnerus, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Texas at Austin and a Catholic who has studied religion and sexual behavior, cautioned against assuming that correlation equals causation in such studies – but said that pornography use is likely part of a more complex reason for dropping marriage rates.
“We know that both things are occurring, but it’s difficult to establish a causal connection,” he told CNA in an e-mail interview. “A variety of things are contributing to the declining marriage rate.”
“I don’t think porn use necessarily causes that, but contributes to it (together with diminished earnings power, diminished confidence, etc.),” he added. “To be sure, porn use doesn’t help build confidence in men, something that’s pretty necessary (but not sufficient) to be considered marriageable. So I’d say porn use is a suspect here, but connecting the dots is hardly straightforward.”
Increasing awareness
Only in the past few years and months has a conversation countering the “it’s healthy, it’s normal” narrative been emerging in mainstream media about pornography. Several celebrities are speaking up, and there are an increasing number of websites dedicated to helping people fight pornography addictions.
In 2015, the release of the controversial “50 Shades of Grey” movie sparked a conversation on social media about sexual violence against women in media, with the hashtag #50dollarsnot50shades encouraging people to forgo the movie and instead donate to places that help victimized women.
The movie sparked a response from an unlikely source – British comedian Russel Brand, whose short video about the problems with pornography went viral, generating over 500,000 views on his YouTube channel and over 2 million views on FTND’s website.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt is another celebrity who has been outspoken about the negative impact of pornography, most notably in his 2013 movie “Don Jon,” which he wrote, directed and co-starred in along with Scarlett Johansson. The film explores the unrealistic expectations of love and relationships that come from pornography addictions and from the media at large.
“I think that there’s not a substantial difference between a lot of main-stream culture and pornography. They’re equally simplistic, reductionist,” Gordon-Levitt said in an interview with NPR about the film.
“Whether it’s rated X or ‘approved by the FCC for general viewing audiences,’ the message is the same. We have a tendency in our culture to take people and treat them like things.”
But the internet has been around for decades now – why has it taken society so long to catch on to the fact that pornography is harmful?
“Science has caught up with the fact that pornography’s harmful,” Olsen said, “but society is still catching up.”
It often takes years for something that was once culturally accepted as true to be flipped on its head as science proves otherwise, Olsen said, so Fight the New Drug knows they still have a lot of work ahead of them.
“We’re very excited to see some of this progress and some of these mainstream media outlets kind of following suit and starting to talk about the negative impacts, we couldn’t be more excited about it, but we still have a long way ahead of us.”
Some other websites that are also trying to raise awareness and give help to those struggling with pornography include The Porn Effect and Covenant Eyes, and internet filtering and accountability system.
The best way to kick a porn habit? Keep fighting it and lean on the sacraments, Regnerus said.
“(My) advice: don’t give up hope; pursue confession regularly; recognize and avoid the contexts which give rise to temptation. That’s a start.”
This article was originally published on CNA April 16, 2015.
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This is NOT a new development – leftist outside agitators have been hard at work
on our nation’s campuses for decades – going all the way back to the 60s.
The seeds sewn by Saul Alinsky lo those many decades ago are reaping a bitter fruit.
One recent development is the feeding frenzy of baby sharks eating their parents and grandparents, especially those swimming in the cesspool of the facility and administration. It’s like watching Jaws being devoured by his children. I would eat popcorn if the spectacle didn’t turn my stomach.
On second thought, all of this reminds me of Dostoevsky‘s the Devils.
Great image. Thanks!
I am in no way justifying the Hamas attack. However, in retaliation, Israel is killing and starving thousands of innocent Palestinian women and children, some of whom are Christians.
Also, after the Oct. 7 attack, many Jews were amazed and openly wondering how it was possible that the most heavily guarded and surveilled border between Israel and Palestine could have not had any surveillance for many hours on Oct. 7.
Isreal is doing no such thing, and there is no such thing as an innocent Palestinian.
Athanasius:
While I support Israel in its war in Gaza, and polls show that the vast the majority (I believe it was over 80% in the Pew Poll) of “Palestinians” support violent Sharia (Palestinians are among the 3 most violent Muslim populations in the world) it is not truthful to say “there are no innocent Palestinians.” Obviously, a sizable minority are not in favor of violence, and that is a fact, in the same way that “the vast majority favoring violence” is a fact. Saying otherwise is not acknowledging reality, and cannot be justified, and when actions in war are explained on the basis of what is unjustifiable, then a person making such a claim is not defending justice, or arguing on the basis of “just war” principles.
It may be the case that you don’t really believe what you wrote?
According to the Reuters report (I choose Reuters because they are not identified with the “radical right”), three in four Palestinians support the actions of Hamas on October 7.
https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/poll-shows-palestinians-back-oct-7-attack-israel-support-hamas-rises-2023-12-14
Of course, that was back in December and things may have changed, but I rather doubt that. Mind you, this support for Hamas is even after it has been revealed (multiple times in fact) that Hamas and other terrorists use civilians as human shields–placing their centers of operations and weaponry in schools and hospitals.
Interesting that you would only be concerned with media that may be considered “radical right”.
Under this Administration anyone reporting the truth is being censored and demonized. Only the “radical left” is allowed to spout their propaganda.
Hate to tell you this, I would be considered among the “radical right.” I almost choose the National Review article on the subject, as it is more recent, but choose Reuters. In any event, NR reported the same thing: Palestinians overwhelming support Hamas, and have done so for years.
Mrs.Hess:
I agree with you but I would add that they do so because they are afraid not to.
That is absolutely true.
Exactly!
Mary,
Your write: “many Jews were amazed and openly wondering how it was possible that the most heavily guarded and surveilled border between Israel and Palestine could have not had any surveillance for many hours on Oct. 7.”
A deep look into what is a profoundly convoluted and fallen world…
Some might even ask how it was possible that 9/11 happened at all? And twenty years in Afghanistan? In 2001 were too many security agents assigned to track domestic “terrorists” praying in front of abortion clinics in urban America? And, yet, further into the morass, would such a hypothetical distraction have been due to those misguided pro-life activists who firebombed clinics?
It’s almost as if the relativistic calculus of consequences is incalculably evil. And, as if the clear and consistent defense of moral absolutes (!), as defended under the forgotten Veritatis Splendor, is still somebody’s God-given responsibility…but who am I to judge?
Palestine has been turned into a pile of rubble with thousands of casualties including hundreds of women and children, and many more buried in the rubble. That is obvious to anyone.
Maybe we should let God be the judge of whether Palestinian women and children are guilty or innocent.
Mary, what’s going on in the Holy Land is a terrible tragedy but I think doubly so for the people living in Gaza because not only are they the victims of collateral damage but they’re also victimized and exploited by Hamas and Iran.
The entire population of Gaza has simply been a means of humanitarian aid to steal, indoctrination, human shields, and canon fodder for Hamas. Hamas is a terrorist mercenary cartel working for the highest bidder which currently is Iran.
The rest of Israel’s neighbors want peace. October 7th was an attempt by Iran to derail the peace accords. (And many Iranians want peace also but good luck with free speech in Iran today. )
The IDF has taken more measures to protect putative civilians, measures that put their soldiers at risk, than any military in the world. Civilian casualties are unavoidable in urban warfare, especially when the enemy places forces and munitions adjacent to churches, schools, and other civilian structures.
Rich Leonardi, the Latin Patriarchate of Jerusalem reported that two Catholic women were shot and killed by an Israeli sniper in a Gaza Parish, while an Israeli tank destroyed the Convent of the Sisters of Mother Theresa. The two women shot were supposedly in a safe area and the second woman who was shot and killed by the sniper was rushing to the aid of the first woman (her mother).
Also, many Jewish people in this country and even Military in Israel were in total disbelief that the Israeli Palestinian border was totally unprotected for hours – allowing the Hamas attack. Hamas, by the way, was created by Netanyahu.
The Israeli media also lied about the beheading of babies, etc. in order to foment hatred toward everyone in Gaza.
Something stinks to high heaven in this whole mess.
Mary, where are you seeing the footage of this massive starvation and death of innocent children in Hamas territory? I have seen photos of some destroyed buildings but can’t tell if they are old or if the location is accurate. We live in an age of fake news so it’s hard to tell.
RomyE, I search various websites to try to find the truth because, as you say, in an age of fake news it’s hard to know for sure. I’ve found Lifesitenews.com to be very reliable. One of their latest articles from April 30 is entitled, Hell on Earth: Inside the Overlooked Plight of Christians in Gaza, which interviews the founder of the Vulnerable People Project.
Lifesite News does from time to time have news items that are of interest but “reliable” is not the way I’d describe the site as a whole & certainly not in the case of news concerning Gaza or Israel.
MrsCracker, There are many pro Israel people who don’t like Lifesite News’ reporting of the Israel-Gaza war – even though I think their reporting is fair and balanced. I’ve found several videos on the net of Jewish Rabbis, Israeli Americans and members of the Israeli press who feel the bombing of Gaza should be stopped as the majority of casualties are women and children.
The Palestinians will not see a homeland for themselves until they have earned it. Peace is not forced into existence by violence, but peace can force violence out of existence.
Peace must come first. Only when the Hamas’ of the world drop their weapons, look up to Heaven and say “Israel has as much right to exist as we do”, will the Middle East experience true peace. The root of this entire historical and all-encompassing human tragedy rests, carved in stone, within the soul and cultural collective mindset of peoples who bear within their hearts, as if deigned by heaven itself, the complete physical, spiritual and temporal annihilation of the entire worldwide Jewish population.
For the umpteenth time:
1) Hamas has stated over and over and OVER through the years that they will settle for nothing less than the complete eradication of the state of Israel.
2) Hamas started this latest version of the war last October.
3) Hamas launches rockets from within civilian-populated areas as a matter of policy.
These are NOT matters to argue over, rather they are FACTS. So, and I know I’m asking too much of college students whose parents are paying up to $90,000 per year for their little darlings to be educated to act the way they are:
4) Do the math.
I hear you Mr. Terrence but occasionally students at Columbia are paying out of pocket and locating their own funding. That’s what one of my children did for his graduate study there. All I did was help him with the fee to reserve his dorm room and i sent him care packages of food. He soon figured out he couldn’t afford living in the dorm and he rented a room from a kindly Dominican grandma.
But, yes his experience was that many of the students there were very privileged indeed and the whole thing was quite a culture shock.
I stopped listening to this interview when Father Landry said that Jesus came to heal the divisions between the classes. I thought that was a very odd thing for a priest or any Catholic to say.