Washington D.C., Nov 2, 2017 / 03:03 pm (CNA/EWTN News).- Death. It’s a subject seen as sad, morbid and fearful, something that people would rather not think about, and certainly not discuss.
Yet for Catholics, death is an essential part of the faith.
“For those who die in Christ’s grace it is a participation in the death of the Lord, so that they can also share his Resurrection,” reads the Catechism of the Catholic Church.
The celebration of the sacraments hearken for a kind of death: death to self, death as a consequence of sin, a remembrance of Christ’s death and entrance into eternal life.
As the 20th century priest Fr. Henri Nouwen remarked, “Dying is the most general human event, something we all have to do.”
The question, he asks, is “Do we do it well?”
Hiding from death
Advances in medicine and technology have drastically increased life expectancies in the past century. In 1915, most people would not expect to live past age 55. A child born in the US in 2017 is expected to see their 85th birthday.
As a result, death has become something distant and even foreign, argues Julie Masters, a professor and chair of the Department of Gerontology at the University of Nebraska, Omaha.
“We get lulled into thinking death doesn’t hit us very often, because it waits until people are very old,” she told CNA. “We know that younger people do die, that middle aged people do die, but in this country, the majority of people who die are going to be older people.”
The average American in the 21st century simply doesn’t have the experience with death that previous generations had, she said. And this lack of experience can lend itself to fear and a tendency to ignore the uncomfortable unknown of the future.
“So we’ll put it off until we have to talk about it, and when we do talk about it, then we get in a pickle because we’re not sure what people want,” Masters said.
Hiding from death can have other consequences, as well. Cultural unease and inexperience with death can affect how we approach loved ones as they die.
“If we’re uncomfortable with death, if someone is dying, we may be unwilling to visit them because we don’t know what to say, when in reality we don’t need to say anything,” Masters said. “We may be less available to comfort them.”
Avoidance of death can also impact vulnerable members of society who are not actively dying, Masters warned.
“Our uncomfortableness with dying may be symptomatic of our desire to control dying and death,” she said. When that control or the fear of becoming a “burden” gives way to conversations about physician-assisted suicide, she continued, “we look at the most vulnerable and say ‘are they really worthy of living, think of all the resources they’re taking up?’”
“Each step in that slope, it gets easier to get rid of people who are no longer valuable or are vulnerable. Yet don’t we learn from the vulnerable?” she questioned. “They’re the ones who teach the strong what’s most valuable in life.”
But Masters also sees a desire to move towards a broader discussion of how to die well. She pointed to the spread of Death Cafes and other guided discussion groups that encourage conversations about death, dying and preparation for the end of life.
Churches can offer a similar kinds of programming, she suggested: “People want to talk about it, they just need the place to do that.”
What does it mean to have a ‘happy death’?
While a person may plan for their death, ultimately the circumstances of one’s passing will be out of their control. However, everyone can aspire to a “good” or “happy” death, said Fr. Michael Witczak, an associate professor of liturgical studies at The Catholic University of America.
He told CNA that the essential qualities of a happy death are being in a state of grace and having a good relationship with God.
The idea of a happy death, or at the very least the aspiration of it, gained popular consideration in the Ars Moriendi – a collection of 15th Century Catholic works laying out the “Art of Dying,” he noted.
The texts elaborate on the temptations – such as despair – that face the dying, questions to ask the dying, advice for families and friends, how to imitate Christ’s life, and prayers for the bedside.
Resources such as these, from ages of the Church that had a more daily experience of death, Fr. Witczak suggested, can be a good resource for beginning to live “intentionally” and to think more about death and how to die well.
Masters agreed that intentionality is key in shifting the cultural mindset on death and dying.
“What if people approached death with the same joy that they greet the birth of a new baby?” she asked.
It’s a fitting analogue, she argues. Both processes – birth and death – are the defining markers of human life, and natural processes that all the living will experience. Both processes also open the door to a similar set of unknowns: What comes next? What will it be like afterwards? How will we cope?
She added that the modern tendency to view death with suspicion and trepidation – or to ignore it altogether – reflects something about the culture.
“If we’re so afraid of death and dying, I have to wonder if we’re also afraid of life and living.”
Last wishes
Discussing death is the first step in making practical preparations for it.
Without planning, Masters said, loved ones may not know a person’s preferences for treatment, finances, or funeral preparations, which can lead to sometimes sharp divides between friends and family. “When we get comfortable talking about death,” she noted, “we can let people know what our wishes are, so that hopefully our wishes are followed.”
Thorough planning includes setting advanced directives and establishing a power of attorney who can make medical decisions on one’s behalf if one is unable to do so.
It is also important to be aware of different care options in an individual’s geographic location. These include palliative care, which focuses on improving quality and length of life while decreasing the need for additional hospital visits. Not just limited to end-of-life situations, palliative care is available for a range of long-term illnesses, and seeks to relieve pain rather than cure an underlying condition.
Hospice care is also an option when the end of life approaches. At this point, the goal is no longer to extend the length of life, but to prepare for death, trying to alleviate pain and offer comfort, while also helping mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to prepare for death.
Funeral planning and creating a will are also important steps in the preparation process. Even for the young or those without material possessions, planning for one’s death can be useful for grieving friends and family members, Masters said. She explained that the idea of creating an “ethical will” is a Jewish tradition in which a person writes a letter or spiritual autobiography, leaving behind the values and morals they found important in their life to pass on to the next generation.
The practice, which is growing in popularity, is available to anyone “to put down into words what’s given their life meaning,” and can have special meaning for those who “feel, because they don’t have a lot of wealth or a lot of possessions, that they have nothing to leave their family.”
Masters pointed to a student of hers who wrote an ethical will shortly before passing away in college and the example of her own grandparents instilling the recitation of the Rosary as people who left behind some of their most meaningful gifts to their loved ones.
“It’s a testament to what that person believed in. What a gift that is!”
Paul Malley, president of the non-profit group Aging with Dignity, stressed that planning the more specific details of end-of-life care can help respect a person’s dignity during illness or on the deathbed.
“Those who are at the end of life, whether they may be suffering with a serious illness or disability, tend to have their dignity questioned,” he told CNA.
The sick and dying are often isolated, receiving care from medical professionals, he explained. And while advanced care planning often focuses on decisions regarding feeding tubes, ventilators, and other medical treatment options, that discussion “doesn’t tell your family anything about what dignified care means to you.”
“It’s important not to just talk about caregiving in terms of medical issues,” Malley stressed. “That’s a small fraction of a day – the rest of the day plays out at the bedside.”
Aging with Dignity promotes planning for acts of comfort, spiritual issues and family relationships in order to make the time surrounding death easier and more dignified for all involved.
“These issues were never talked about when it came to end-of-life care or advanced care planning.” Among some of the requests participants make, he elaborated, are small acts of comfort like cool cloths on a forehead, pictures of loved ones in a hospital room, favorite blankets on a bed, or requests for specific family or friends to come visit.
Planning to incorporate what Malley calls “the lost art of caregiving,” was important to his own family when his grandmother died. “One of the most important things for her was that she always wanted to have her feet poking out of the blanket because her feet were hot,” he recalled.
Although nurses and care providers would often bundle her feet up to try to keep her warm, her family was able to untuck her feet afterwards so she could stay comfortable.
“That might be something that sounds very trivial, very small, but for her, for my grandmother, laying in that bed where she couldn’t get up and couldn’t reach down to pull up her own blanket, having her feet stick out at the edge of the blanket was probably the most important thing to her all day long,” Malley said.
The end of the earthly pilgrimage
For Catholics, spiritual preparation for death should always include the sacraments, Fr. Witczak said.
The Sacrament of Reconciliation, important for all the faithful throughout their lives, is a particularly important spiritual medicine for those nearing death.
Additionally, Anointing of the Sick should be sought for those who have begun to be in danger of death due to sickness or old age, and it can be repeated if the sick person recovers and again becomes gravely ill, or if their condition becomes more grave.
“The Church wants people to celebrate the sacrament as often as they need to,” Fr. Witczak said.
The Eucharist can also be received at the end of life as “viaticum,” which means “with you on the way.”
“It’s receiving the Lord who will be with you on the way to the other side,” said Fr. Thomas Petri, O.P., vice president and academic dean at the Pontifical Faculty of the Immaculate Conception at the Dominican House of Studies.
He added that the Eucharist can be received as viaticum more than once, should a person recover, and can also be given even if someone has already received the Eucharist earlier during the day.
A good death is a gift
Prayer, reception of the sacraments, and seeking forgiveness from God and one another can mark death as a time of peace, Fr. Petri said. Death can also be a time of surprise, as it “either amplifies the way a person has lived their life or it causes a complete reversal,” with some people undergoing profound conversions or surprising hardenings of the heart during their last days.
“Much of it really does really on the will of God,” he reflected, adding that we should all pray for the grace of a holy death.
Dying a happy death is not only a blessing for the person dying, but can be a gift to others as well, Fr. Petri said, noting that family and friends can be drawn closer to one another and to God as the result of a holy death.
Masters agreed, adding that “the dying can serve as examples or role models,” by teaching others how to die without fear.
Ultimately, Fr. Witczak said, Christians “do” death differently because Christians “do” life differently.
“I think as human beings, death is a topic we’re afraid of and we’re told not to think about, and the Christian tradition keeps trying to bring it before people, not to scare people, but rather to remind people of their ultimate destiny,” he said.
“This is not simple and it’s something people ultimately have to learn for themselves, but it’s the important task of life. I think what the Church tries to do is to help people live their life fully and even live their death as an entryway into the life that is promised to us by Jesus Christ.”
Looking toward death and the vulnerability that surrounds it can be a vital way of encountering death – and overcoming the fear of it, he said.
Masters agreed, noting that those who have had encounters with death or profound suffering often “look at life differently.”
“They understand it is so fleeting. But because they know how close death is they look at life in a different way.”
For many people, this different approach to life includes an increased focus on family, friends and service, she said. “That’s how you’re remembered at the end of the day: what did you do for other people?”
Starting with even the most basic conversations about death, she added, can be beneficial for those wanting to confront mortality.
“When you can acknowledge that you’re going to die, you can begin to live your life.”
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Vance shows his true colours! Another Benedict Arnold to the unborn! Thought he was too good to be true, there was always something of the night about him; never trust blues eyes, especially in a politician like this apostate catholic!
Never trust blue eyes?
I agree with Lila Rose. Trump has sold out the Pro-Life movement, and if his opponents had not been so abysmal in every single policy area, I would be praying for his defeat. The transformation of the GOP from a Social Conservative party to Trump Personality Cult is one of the most disappointing political developments in my lifetime.
So…who do you plan to vote for? An unknown with no chance of winning? Exactly how will that help stop abortion? Or are you going to “righteously abstain” from voting at all? How will THAT help stop abortion?!
Often in life, we are faced with two alternatives, neither of which is ideal; e.g., House A or House B. You have to have a place to live and choosing House C isn’t an option–your only other option is not having a house and living in your parents’ basement or in your car. So you sigh, hold your nose, and choose between House A and House B and work really hard to try to make your choice eventually become your ideal
Who do you plan to vote for? Someone who will win or lose without your vote?
Or are you under the impression that your state will be perfectly balanced between Democrats and Republicans, and YOUR VOTE will break the time — and that, on top of that, the Electoral College will be essentially tied until your state breaks the tie? Because that is the ONLY way your vote will be actually change the outcome of the election. But you would be better off buying a lottery ticket and donating the winnings to your favorite candidate; your odds of winning a multi-million dollar jackpot are vastly better than your odds of casting the deciding vote.
I remember the 1990s. Bill Clinton was a womanizing narcissist who said he wanted abortion to be safe, legal, and rare, even as he moved his party to the left. Today, Trump is a womanizing narcissist who says he wanted abortion to be safe, legal, and rare, even as he moves his party to the left. Oh, and Ted Kennedy was a Catholic who went along with all that enthusiastically, just as J.D. Vance does today. I didn’t support Clinton or Kennedy. It appears that you at least approve of them now.
As for me, I would not approve of Clinton/Kennedy clones even if I knew I was casting the deciding vote, for reasons only a little less serious than why I would not choose a United Methodist church over a Hindu temple — I reject the false dilemma that tries to make me call the “lesser evil” truth. In reality, I already know which candidate will win the Electoral College votes from my state, probably by a margin of over 10% of the vote. If I would be unwilling to lie and say that Trump & Vance are good men deserving of high office even if I thought it would make a difference, what on earth could compel me to say that lie when I know it will make no difference?
Sure, Harris & Walz are worse. Just like Hinduism is less true than United Methodism. That changes precisely nothing about the situation as I have explained it.
When we have two Presidential candidates who are not pro-life as we Catholics interpret “pro-life”, we need to do some serious thinking about who we will vote for.
In my opinion, voting for a “totally pro-life” candidate who has absolutely no chance of winning unless God performs a miracle and multiplies the votes as He multiplied the loaves and fishes–is just a gesture which will mean NOTHING in this election, and will do NOTHING to help stop abortion and other grave sins that are becoming acceptable as “rights” in the United States!
What we need to do is vote for whichever candidate is most likely to create a “climate” in the U.S. (not talking about weather here!) that will make it more likely that a woman will be able to make a choice for life for her unborn child and a climate in which religious people will have a true voice in helping form public policy.
The economy is a major factor when it comes to a woman’s decision to keep or kill her unborn child. High taxation, heavy regulation on the development of new companies and businesses, high-cost regulations on businesses when it comes to their commitment to being “green-friendly,” regulations that impose quotas to bring about “diversity”, and many other government regulations that impede the ability of companies to grow and thrive mean less well-paying jobs (with health care benefits) for women and the fathers of their unborn children. Being poor with no realistic way out of poverty and inadequate job skills is one of the major factors that cause a woman to abort.
Lack of affordable health care is a major cause of abortion–and health care in this nation has become a business rather than a vocation. No longer are hospitals managed by local doctors who have decided to leave active practice and devote their lives to creating a “healing center” that will serve their local population. Hospitals are now run by huge companies and millionaires who see yet another source of profit. God help the uninsured in the U.S.A.–but health insurance is also big business which is often too expensive for anyone but the well-off and wealthy! It’s no wonder women choose abortion–yes it costs money, but it’s cheaper than all the pre-natal, birth, and post-natal health care that many poor and low-income women cannot afford. We need a President who understands this and who is an advocate for health care that is available to everyone regardless of income, and we also need a President who can advocate educational programs that ENCOURAGE children and teens to consider good-paying health care careers (which are dangerously short-staffed at this time in America’s history!)
Also, the cost, quality, and availability of educational opportunities is another major factor. When schools emphasize “diversity” and “inclusion” issues and do not teach subjects that adequately prepare young people to discern a job/career, the students end up unemployed, under-employed, and poor (assuming they even finish high school). Although many women who have abortions have good incomes and are financially sound, a large number of abortions are performed for poor and low-income women. We need our schools to educate, not indoctrinate.
Finally, when a political party utilizes hugely-popular entertainers (“stars”) who are unashamedly pro-abortion and pro-sexual promiscuity inside and outside traditional marriage, many Americans will respond with ‘stars in their eyes’ to the stars they love to hear on Spotify or see on Netflix. and vote for the candidates that these entertainment idols endorse without even bothering to examine the policies that the candidates are advocating!
Although it would be wonderful to vote for a committed Catholic who is totally submissive to Holy Mother Church, we need to accept that this will not happen in this particular election (and probably not in many future elections, and even our Catholic presidents in the past have been guilty of moral failures!). Rather than not voting, thinking that our absence will “send a message” to the U.S. government (yes, it will “send a message”–that we are naive!), or rather than voting for a candidate that would literally need a miracle to even gain 1% of the votes, we need to soberly study the two viable candidates and vote for the one who will be most likely (but not guaranteed) to bring about a political climate in which religion can continue to have an influence on public policy and those of us who are faithful can continue to have the right to practice our faith and share it with others.
Mrs. Sharon, Medicaid pays 100% of delivery & prenatal expenses in our state. I don’t know how it works in every other state but we have state sponsored children’s health insurance offered on a sliding income scale.
I really don’t believe healthcare costs are a driving cause of feticides. Every country that offers nationalized healthcare also has feticides committed.
If we support socialized medicine, ok that’s another conversation. All healthcare is costly. Either to the taxpayer or to the consumer & we have finite resources to fund that through taxpayers.
I’ve heard it said — maybe in the Wormwood Letters, it’s been a while — that the devil wants to get our souls and give us nothing in return. He’s already got your acquiescence to at least some abortions. What are you getting in return? Power to decide the election? The math says otherwise.
Trump should absolutely refuse to sign a national ban. What was the purpose of appointing judges to the Supreme Court to overturn Roe v. Wade? The court determined that there is no legal precedent in American or English common law that guarantees access to abortions at the federal level, so the law was unconstitutional. The decision was thrown back to the individual states, which is where it belongs.
Athanasius, Roe v. Wade wasn’t a law; it was a Supreme Court decision. Overturning it made state law relevant again, but did not preclude a federal abortion ban. In fact, denying a Constitutional right to abortion opens the door to a federal ban. Trump and Vance don’t support one because they think it’s a losing issue, not because it’s unconstitutional. If you are pro-life (ie, believe each human person deserves protection from conception to natural death) you should at least theoretically support a national ban on abortion. A politician insisting that he would work against one is not incrementalism either; it’s just pro-abortion.
Let the states decide.
Nothing precludes a federal abortion ban but this isn’t the moment for that.
If pro-life legislation can be passed at a national level, pro-abortion people can turn that around and pass a law imposing abortion on all the states. I think it’s probably safer to make it a state-by-state thing, though my preference would be for abortion to be recognized as the murder that it is and banned everywhere.
What are the chances that even a Republican-dominated Congress would ever pass a national abortion ban? The hypothetical was put forward to force Vance to either alienate pro-lifers or incite the ghouls who delight in the killing of babies. It was trap put out in the service of the Harris campaign.