Rome, Italy, Apr 24, 2018 / 11:12 am (CNA/EWTN News).- At the age of 16, Deborah Kloos was a distraught young woman who turned to the Church in hopes of finding solace, peace, and a reprieve from a “dysfunctional” and complicated family life.
She attended Mass often and sought comfort in the Eucharist. But she was sexually abused by a parish priest in Ontario.
After years of living with anger, sadness, and guilt, Kloos made her way back to the Church and was able to find healing through the sacraments. Now, she wants the Church to make praying for abuse survivors a priority.
She believes the Church has made progress on the abuse front, and has said that for real healing to happen, learning to forgive is key, as is keeping a positive attitude about the concrete efforts the Church is making.
“If we want to heal and make progress in healing we have to open up our hearts, pray together, communicate with one another, forgive one another, focus on the small changes in progress because they all count,” Kloos told CNA.
The Church “has made a lot of progress on the issue of clerical sexual abuse,” she said. “I know people are hurting deeply for this irreparable damage done as a result of clergy abuse and I know how painful it is as an abuse survivor.”
“When an infected wound like clergy abuse is covered up, it will fester and eventually will explode,” she said. “Only until the pus and ugliness is out of the wound, can it begin a healing process. It takes time, but we have to pray together and talk about it.”
Everyone deals with the trauma differently, she said, noting that in many cases people affected by abuse will likely never come back to the Catholic Church or bring their families to Mass.
“It is such a huge wound that only God can help with healing,” Kloos said, explaining that it is important for people to look at the progress that has been made and to “respect one another, because we are all human beings who are not perfect. We need God.”
Kloos, who lives in Canada with her husband, stopped attending Mass after she was sexually abused by a 63-year-old priest at her parish.
After the abuse happened, Kloos said she felt “sad and frustrated,” and was estranged from the Church for 20 years before eventually coming back when she enrolled her son in Catholic school.
“I carried a lot of guilt for years,” she said, but explained that she wanted her son to learn about God, so she put her son in Catholic school and started attending the school Masses. Eventually she began attending Mass everyday, and joined her parish choir.
The whole process “was emotionally hard for me, because I still carried so much anger and sadness, but I kept attending Mass,” she said, explaining that “the times I felt saddest and angry, I would feel this warm, supernatural light around me like a spiritual hug, like the Lord was hugging me and asking me to stay in the Church and not give up.”
However, Kloos said that after coming back to the Church, it was still hard for her to feel fully welcomed, because those wounded by abuse were not yet prayed for during Mass.
She began sending letters to her bishop in the Diocese of London, asking him to offer a Mass for victims of clerical abuse. For seven years she wrote with the same request, and she also made rosaries which she sent to clergy asking them to pray for those who have been wounded by abuse and who are far away from the Church.
She spoke of the importance of receiving the Eucharist, and lamented the fact that there are “thousands of people wounded by clergy and generations of people who may never enter a church again because of the irreparable damage caused by abuse that separated them from the Eucharist.”
There are many people who are addicted to drugs and alcohol, who struggle with mental health problems, families have broken up and there have been suicides, “all caused by abuse,” she said, stressing that this is why prayer is so necessary, yet often times the issue is still too taboo to talk about publicly in the Church.
“People just did not know how to deal with this,” she said.
“It is uncomfortable. I understand this. It hurts to acknowledge and talk about sin and abuse in the Church, but only when we pray together and bring the darkness into the Light, by asking God to help us, can communication, forgiveness, and healing occur.”
When the Pontifical Commission for the Protection of Minors was established in March 2014, Kloos began writing to members voicing her desire for a day of prayer for abuse survivors. She also sent them artwork she had made as a way to heal and show how she found hope.
In 2016 the commission recommended that a day of prayer for abuse survivors be established, and Pope Francis accepted the proposal, asking that it be organized at a local level.
In the London diocese, the day of prayer was held on the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows, and “it was beautiful.” Kloos voiced her gratitude to the clerics of her diocese for organizing the now-annual Mass, saying she believes they are doing their best, and are trying to move in the right direction.
“They are good people in my diocese and I care about them,” she said. “We have really dedicated clergy in the diocese. I feel it is important to focus on the positives and when people change for the better, then we should encourage them because a change of attitude and behavior takes time.”
Kloos has maintained close correspondence with members of the pontifical commission, including Fr. Hans Zollner SJ, head of the Center for Child Protection.
Commission members “need encouragement and positive support from people, especially clergy abuse survivors,” she explained. The members “work hard and need lots of prayer and support. I want to give them this support as a clergy abuse survivor and thank them.”
Kloos said she believes that while there is still more that needs to be done to prevent abuse and help survivors heal, the Church has made progress.
Citing guidelines and safety policies that have been put into place as well as suggestions for tougher screenings for Church employees and free counseling for clergy abuse survivors, Kloos said these are “huge changes” that she appreciates.
She also pointed to a course organized by the Center for Child Protection on the dangers of abuse in the digital world, and the degrees in child safety being offered by the Pontifical Gregorian University in Rome.
Kloos voiced appreciation for Pope Francis’ recent apology for having made “serious mistakes” in the Chilean sexual abuse case.
Francis “had the courage to admit what he said was wrong to the Chilean abuse survivors and is meeting them now to apologize personally.”
She voiced her hope that the Church will continue to pray more intentionally for abuse survivors, especially during Mass.
Prayer “changes hearts to enable forgiveness and healing to occur, it opens up communication between people and asks God for help for the irreparable damage of clergy abuse that people feel uncomfortable talking about.”
“I understand that clergy abuse is something very painful for everyone, especially clergy, so they need lots of prayers and support too,” Kloos said.
In terms of learning how to talk about the issue more and make it less of a taboo subject, Kloos said she knows it will take time, because people “feel uncomfortable, threatened, afraid, and it is just human nature.”
“All that matters is that the right thing is done and that people work together for healing to make our Church better.”
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Is it too soon to say “the religion of peace”?
Readers, please see this eye-opening article by historian R. Ibrahim on the decisive battle in A.D. 626 that led to the fall of the then Christian Middle East, North Africa, etc.
https://www.raymondibrahim.com/08/20/2025/articles-of-the-day
it is 636 not 626; my eyesight is going and it is harder and harder for me to type
BTW the first name of the knife-wielding attacker at the Manchester synagogue is Jihad. I am not making this up. Media is avoiding mentioning his name. He is a perfectly integrated British citizen of Syrian origin. The wise British police are still trying to figure out his “motive”.. He will probably be declared to be psychotic. See
https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2025/10/03/two-victims-of-manchester-synagogue-attack-may-have-been-accidentally-shot-by-police-force-says/
Blah, Blah, Blah. Neither the article nor the bishop’s statement mentions anything about the identity and background of the killer. Of course, the incident will not in any way shake the absolute commitment of the Church hierarchy’s to open borders. The same can also be said of Jews. The condemnations are an insult to all victims of crimes that the policies they advocate make possible.
I’m not sure I understand your comments Mr. Tony but I read on the BBC that the killer was a British citizen brought to the UK as a child. Perhaps that info. was not yet available at the time this article was written.
You understood my comments and Jihad Al-Shamie was not British in any meaningful sense of the word. Your word games are tiresome and less clever than you think.
Mr Tony, Britain has the right to define who their citizens are just as we do.
Oer the Daily Mail, the killer’s father is a medical professional who cheered on October 7th.
Sorry, Per. Not Oer.
Early morning typo.
🙂
When citizenship is granted en masse to anyone who can flop onto shore from a raft or get a plane ticket paid for by Soros or the UN, then it has been cheapened to the point of being worthless. The people of the West did not vote for bringing in hundreds of millions of culturally incompatible foreigners from every corner of the globe. This was imposed on us by a transnational elite. he Moors who had dominated Spain for centuries no doubt thought they were entitled to stay. They found out otherwise. Something similar is going to have to take place again in Europe, North America and Australia.
The government of the UK itself is responsible for the violence. The government has become the prime example of using its office against those who PEACEFULLY protest and express their ideas and views. The British government better get its act together before it’s too late. The British people better wake up, have a conversion of heart and return to acknowledging Christ as their Savior. A godless people will not be able to resist the ravages of barbaric Islam.
For those of us who live in the United States, we must be concerned about KEEPING OUR RIGHT OF PEACEFUL PROTEST TO EXPRESS OUR IDEAS AND VIEWS.
Yes, and the greatest threat comes from the progressive ideology you support. How ironic 🙄.
Dear Deacon, your posting appears to blame the British government for the violent attack on the Manchester synagogue.
As no sane adult, especially a Christian, could think, much less say that, perhaps you would clarify what you were saying?
Thank you.
Kieran, Go review the news articles about the current Labour government over the past year. No sane person could read about the actions of the British government in this period and not hold them culpable of instigating violence. I will rest my case.
Perhaps, deacon, more of your concern should be about our present government.
Thank you Deacon, for your interesting views on the recent violence against Jews in Manchester.
I regret wasting my time asking for them.
This extremist behavior is simply not acceptable in Manchester, England or anywhere else in the world. The Jewish community of England or other parts of the world must not be blamed or held hostage for the ravages of war in the Middle East. The Jewish community has a God given right to exist and live in peace. Let’s not repeat the Holocaust once again!
We have friends in the UK who are nominal Christians. Their daughter married a Jew and “converted” to his faith in order for their two sons to be considered Jewish. Recenly, our friends told us that their daughter had cautioned her sons to “never mention outside the house to anyone that they were Jewish.” Let that sink in. Visiond of Kristalnach!
The Babylon Bee had a satire article about British Jews arrested for inciting violence by being too obviously Jewish.
The situation is even worse in France today.
Here we go again. This happens in the USA also. No one seems to want to provide security
in advance against the threat – any threat. Study the options. Consider using sensible police our usher protection.