Washington D.C., Nov 2, 2020 / 12:03 pm (CNA).- Death. It’s a subject seen as sad, morbid and fearful, something that people would rather not think about, and certainly not discuss.
Yet for Catholics, death is an essential part of the faith.
“For those who die in Christ’s grace it is a participation in the death of the Lord, so that they can also share his Resurrection,” reads the Catechism of the Catholic Church.
The celebration of the sacraments hearken for a kind of death: death to self, death as a consequence of sin, a remembrance of Christ’s death and entrance into eternal life.
As the 20th century priest Fr. Henri Nouwen remarked, “Dying is the most general human event, something we all have to do.”
The question, he asks, is “Do we do it well?”
Hiding from death
Advances in medicine and technology have drastically increased life expectancies in the past century. In 1915, most people would not expect to live past age 55. A child born in the US in 2017 is expected to see their 85th birthday.
As a result, death has become something distant and even foreign, argues Julie Masters, a professor and chair of the Department of Gerontology at the University of Nebraska, Omaha.
“We get lulled into thinking death doesn’t hit us very often, because it waits until people are very old,” she told CNA. “We know that younger people do die, that middle aged people do die, but in this country, the majority of people who die are going to be older people.”
The average American in the 21st century simply doesn’t have the experience with death that previous generations had, she said. And this lack of experience can lend itself to fear and a tendency to ignore the uncomfortable unknown of the future.
“So we’ll put it off until we have to talk about it, and when we do talk about it, then we get in a pickle because we’re not sure what people want,” Masters said.
Hiding from death can have other consequences, as well. Cultural unease and inexperience with death can affect how we approach loved ones as they die.
“If we’re uncomfortable with death, if someone is dying, we may be unwilling to visit them because we don’t know what to say, when in reality we don’t need to say anything,” Masters said. “We may be less available to comfort them.”
Avoidance of death can also impact vulnerable members of society who are not actively dying, Masters warned.
“Our uncomfortableness with dying may be symptomatic of our desire to control dying and death,” she said. When that control or the fear of becoming a “burden” gives way to conversations about physician-assisted suicide, she continued, “we look at the most vulnerable and say ‘are they really worthy of living, think of all the resources they’re taking up?’”
“Each step in that slope, it gets easier to get rid of people who are no longer valuable or are vulnerable. Yet don’t we learn from the vulnerable?” she questioned. “They’re the ones who teach the strong what’s most valuable in life.”
But Masters also sees a desire to move towards a broader discussion of how to die well. She pointed to the spread of Death Cafes and other guided discussion groups that encourage conversations about death, dying and preparation for the end of life.
Churches can offer a similar kinds of programming, she suggested: “People want to talk about it, they just need the place to do that.”
What does it mean to have a ‘happy death’?
While a person may plan for their death, ultimately the circumstances of one’s passing will be out of their control. However, everyone can aspire to a “good” or “happy” death, said Fr. Michael Witczak, an associate professor of liturgical studies at The Catholic University of America.
He told CNA that the essential qualities of a happy death are being in a state of grace and having a good relationship with God.
The idea of a happy death, or at the very least the aspiration of it, gained popular consideration in the Ars Moriendi – a collection of 15th Century Catholic works laying out the “Art of Dying,” he noted.
The texts elaborate on the temptations – such as despair – that face the dying, questions to ask the dying, advice for families and friends, how to imitate Christ’s life, and prayers for the bedside.
Resources such as these, from ages of the Church that had a more daily experience of death, Fr. Witczak suggested, can be a good resource for beginning to live “intentionally” and to think more about death and how to die well.
Masters agreed that intentionality is key in shifting the cultural mindset on death and dying.
“What if people approached death with the same joy that they greet the birth of a new baby?” she asked.
It’s a fitting analogue, she argues. Both processes – birth and death – are the defining markers of human life, and natural processes that all the living will experience. Both processes also open the door to a similar set of unknowns: What comes next? What will it be like afterwards? How will we cope?
She added that the modern tendency to view death with suspicion and trepidation – or to ignore it altogether – reflects something about the culture.
“If we’re so afraid of death and dying, I have to wonder if we’re also afraid of life and living.”
Last wishes
Discussing death is the first step in making practical preparations for it.
Without planning, Masters said, loved ones may not know a person’s preferences for treatment, finances, or funeral preparations, which can lead to sometimes sharp divides between friends and family.
“When we get comfortable talking about death,” she noted, “we can let people know what our wishes are, so that hopefully our wishes are followed.”
Thorough planning includes setting advanced directives and establishing a power of attorney who can make medical decisions on one’s behalf if one is unable to do so.
It is also important to be aware of different care options in an individual’s geographic location. These include palliative care, which focuses on improving quality and length of life while decreasing the need for additional hospital visits. Not just limited to end-of-life situations, palliative care is available for a range of long-term illnesses, and seeks to relieve pain rather than cure an underlying condition.
Hospice care is also an option when the end of life approaches. At this point, the goal is no longer to extend the length of life, but to alleviate pain and offer comfort, while also helping mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to prepare for death.
Funeral planning and creating a will are also important steps in the preparation process. Even for the young or those without material possessions, planning for one’s death can be useful for grieving friends and family members, Masters said. She explained that the idea of creating an “ethical will” is a Jewish tradition in which a person writes a letter or spiritual autobiography, leaving behind the values and morals they found important in their life to pass on to the next generation.
The practice, which is growing in popularity, is available to anyone “to put down into words what’s given their life meaning,” and can have special meaning for those who “feel, because they don’t have a lot of wealth or a lot of possessions, that they have nothing to leave their family.”
Masters pointed to a student of hers who wrote an ethical will shortly before passing away in college and the example of her own grandparents instilling the recitation of the Rosary as people who left behind some of their most meaningful gifts to their loved ones.
“It’s a testament to what that person believed in. What a gift that is!”
Paul Malley, president of the non-profit group Aging with Dignity, stressed that planning the more specific details of end-of-life care can help respect a person’s dignity during illness or on the deathbed.
“Those who are at the end of life, whether they may be suffering with a serious illness or disability, tend to have their dignity questioned,” he told CNA.
The sick and dying are often isolated, receiving care from medical professionals, he explained. And while advanced care planning often focuses on decisions regarding feeding tubes, ventilators, and other medical treatment options, that discussion “doesn’t tell your family anything about what dignified care means to you.”
“It’s important not to just talk about caregiving in terms of medical issues,” Malley stressed. “That’s a small fraction of a day – the rest of the day plays out at the bedside.”
Aging with Dignity promotes planning for acts of comfort, spiritual issues and family relationships in order to make the time surrounding death easier and more dignified for all involved.
“These issues were never talked about when it came to end-of-life care or advanced care planning.” Among some of the requests participants make, he elaborated, are small acts of comfort like cool cloths on a forehead, pictures of loved ones in a hospital room, favorite blankets on a bed, or requests for specific family or friends to come visit.
Planning to incorporate what Malley calls “the lost art of caregiving,” was important to his own family when his grandmother died. “One of the most important things for her was that she always wanted to have her feet poking out of the blanket because her feet were hot,” he recalled.
Although nurses and care providers would often bundle her feet up to try to keep her warm, her family was able to untuck her feet afterwards so she could stay comfortable.
“That might be something that sounds very trivial, very small, but for her, for my grandmother, laying in that bed where she couldn’t get up and couldn’t reach down to pull up her own blanket, having her feet stick out at the edge of the blanket was probably the most important thing to her all day long,” Malley said.
The end of the earthly pilgrimage
For Catholics, spiritual preparation for death should always include the sacraments, Fr. Witczak said.
The Sacrament of Reconciliation, important for all the faithful throughout their lives, is a particularly important spiritual medicine for those nearing death.
Additionally, Anointing of the Sick should be sought for those who have begun to be in danger of death due to sickness or old age, and it can be repeated if the sick person recovers and again becomes gravely ill, or if their condition becomes more grave.
“The Church wants people to celebrate the sacrament as often as they need to,” Fr. Witczak said.
The Eucharist can also be received at the end of life as “viaticum,” which means “with you on the way.”
“It’s receiving the Lord who will be with you on the way to the other side,” said Fr. Thomas Petri, O.P., vice president and academic dean at the Pontifical Faculty of the Immaculate Conception at the Dominican House of Studies.
He added that the Eucharist can be received as viaticum more than once, should a person recover, and can also be given even if someone has already received the Eucharist earlier during the day.
A good death is a gift
Prayer, reception of the sacraments, and seeking forgiveness from God and one another can mark death as a time of peace, Fr. Petri said. Death can also be a time of surprise, as it “either amplifies the way a person has lived their life or it causes a complete reversal,” with some people undergoing profound conversions or surprising hardenings of the heart during their last days.
“Much of it really does rely on the will of God,” he reflected, adding that we should all pray for the grace of a holy death.
Dying a happy death is not only a blessing for the person dying, but can be a gift to others as well, Fr. Petri said, noting that family and friends can be drawn closer to one another and to God as the result of a holy death.
Masters agreed, adding that “the dying can serve as examples or role models,” by teaching others how to die without fear.
Ultimately, Fr. Witczak said, Christians “do” death differently because Christians “do” life differently.
“I think as human beings, death is a topic we’re afraid of and we’re told not to think about, and the Christian tradition keeps trying to bring it before people, not to scare people, but rather to remind people of their ultimate destiny,” he said.
“This is not simple and it’s something people ultimately have to learn for themselves, but it’s the important task of life. I think what the Church tries to do is to help people live their life fully and even live their death as an entryway into the life that is promised to us by Jesus Christ.”
Looking toward death and the vulnerability that surrounds it can be a vital way of encountering death – and overcoming the fear of it, he said.
Masters agreed, noting that those who have had encounters with death or profound suffering often “look at life differently.”
“They understand it is so fleeting. But because they know how close death is they look at life in a different way.”
For many people, this different approach to life includes an increased focus on family, friends and service, she said. “That’s how you’re remembered at the end of the day: what did you do for other people?”
Starting with even the most basic conversations about death, she added, can be beneficial for those wanting to confront mortality.
“When you can acknowledge that you’re going to die, you can begin to live your life.”
This article was originally published on CNA November 28, 2018.
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Dr. Mirus at Catholic Culture weighs in, and I offer a sample:
“I am willing to wager a good deal that Bishop Martin is a vigorous proponent of the adaptation and indigenization of the liturgy for cultures which have strong attachments to different ways of doing things. Therefore, I will assume without presenting arguments that there is something he vigorously dislikes about any attachment to the liturgical form which has been the most universal form ever in the history of the Church. It would be unwarranted to draw further inferences, but it seems to me that at least a related question is permissible: Have we seen, historically speaking, that this particular animus very often goes hand-in-hand with a dislike of various aspects of Catholic faith and morals which have been even more universal throughout the history of the Church?”
https://www.catholicculture.org/commentary/bishop-martin-and-personal-liturgical-preferences/
Pope Leo should reassign Bishop Martin to Gaza and replace him with Bishop Strickland.
That would be very interesting.
🙂
Especially since one of Cardinal Prevost’s first actions as head of the Bishops Dicastery was to retire Bp Strickland.
It is time for Pope Leo to act against any bishop who would move to suppress the Catholic Mass.
One wonders – is Bishop Martin related to Fr. James Martin?
Grace a Dieu I don’t live there and my pity and prayers go to the Catholics who do live there.
This is the work of Cupich & Co. (and, ultimately, Bergoglio). The People of God must rise up and stop the deconstruction of our Catholic Faith by a handful of hateful, often homosexual, prelates and priests.
The old latin forms were the first established by men long ago. That does not mean that they are the ONLY permissable forms. Today they are valued predominantly by those in rebellion against Vatican II. People who fear change. Whatever is alive constantly changes. Only death is static with no further change.
“Today they are valued predominantly by those in rebellion against Vatican II.”
Vatican II: “Particular law remaining in force, the use of the Latin language is to be preserved in the Latin rites.” (Sacrosanctum Concilium, 36. 1., the Council’s “Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy”).
“Whatever is alive constantly changes.”
Yet God, who is the Source and Author of all life, does not change. “I the Lord do not change” (Mal 3:6).
And the very nature of liturgy does not change, even if there are certain variations in language, rubrics, etc., that can change (similar to how dogma does not change, but disciplines can change, depending on various factors). Thus: “For the liturgy is made up of immutable elements divinely instituted, and of elements subject to change” (SC, 21).
It’s best to know a bit about what you are discussing before opining too broadly and irresponsibly.
About “whatever is alive constantly changes,” Cardinal Newman (the “father of Vatican II”) changed all that:
“In a higher world it is otherwise, but here below to live is to change [!], and to be perfect is to have changed often. [BUT, from the preceding sentences!] “[great ideas, or principles] reappear under new forms. It changes with [controversies] IN ORDER TO REMAIN THE SAME” (“The Development of Christian Doctrine,” Ch. 1, Sec. 1).
SUMMARY: Constant change is the deepest rut of all.
Yo!
Can you prove that nothing changes after death?
On the purely physical/material level, many changes occur to a human body after death. The Catholic doctrine of purgatory teaches that human souls are purified of stains of sin after death. The Church also teaches of pains of hell and various levels of beatitude attending one’s entrance into heaven.
Carl’s conclusion is seconded.
“People who fear change” do not exist, and people who fear the reality that truth never changes fear the wrath of God, thus they have a need to create the fiction that the mind of God, the source of all truth, is fungible. They fear honoring unchanging received truth, innate to our existence, for good reason.
this bishop seems to be controlled by the evil one
Micromanagement and could be considered mean spirited.
I have not attended a Latin Mass in more than 60 years, so I dont have a dog in this fight. But I am not opposed to the Latin Mass and I would say this Bishop is way out of line. A Bishop should not be a dictator. And thus far no Pope has outlawed this Mass. So who does this Bishop think he is?
I hope the people of his diocese shut their wallets VERY tightly immediately, and vote with their feet to attend Mass elsewhere. Eventually the Vatican will want to know why that diocese is going bankrupt. Hopefully then they will remove him from his present office and send him to a monastery to think for a while about the damage he is doing to the church. It is amazing that one prideful Bishop can prevent thousands of Catholics from using their preferred form of worship.
This document by the bishop is simply the true face of Synodality. Every bishop will create a new mass and interpretation of the Catholic faith based on the lived experience of the people of God. Faith based on the rule of the mob.
German Archbishop authorizes blasphemous dance at ancient cathedral:
https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2025/05/30/fowl-behavior-chickens-in-diapers-dance-performance-at-westphalia-cathedral-blasted-as-blasphemous/
Chickens in Diapers Dance Performance at Westphalia Cathedral Blasted as ‘Blasphemous’
I hope that those people who are restricted from attending the great Latin mass rise up and march down to that cathedral and protests against that out of order bishop . How dares he to stop a good thing He will pay for his extreme mistake and he should be forced to retire . Keep your money in your wallets for good deeds do not give to his parish. When he can’t pay the bills he will bend to the will of the flock . Amen
I could write a book to express my anger, but reactions for which I would hope, at the least, invite the question, are there no feminists in N.C who would take the opportunity to tell the bishop how vile is his condescension that would presume to tell women how to dress?
We have a sign outside the entrance of our church that tells both men and women how to dress. I’m all for dress codes in sacred places but usually those encourage modesty and decorum. It seems very odd to insist on the opposite.
I understand your point. I was keying on his contempt for the very idea of his implicit contempt for veils.
I constructed that sentence wrong, which I shouldn’t do when I’m half asleep. The bishop obviously doesn’t have contempt for his own ideas. He should be more prudent, but he seems to be lacking here. I simply meant to critique his contempt for veils worn by women, unworthy for a bishop.