San Francisco, Calif., Mar 26, 2017 / 04:02 pm (CNA/EWTN News).- In 2013, Beyonce Knowles topped GQ’s list of “The 100 Hottest Women of the 21st Century.”
That same year, the “definitive men’s magazine” that promises “sexy women” along with style advice, entertainment news and more ran a shorter listicle: “10 Reasons Why You Should Quit Watching Porn.”
The list included reasons such as decreased sexual impotence in men that regularly viewed pornography, and a reported lack of control of sexual desires. It was inspired by an interview with NoFap, an online community of people dedicated to holding each other accountable in abstaining from pornography and masturbation.The site clearly states that it is decidedly non-religious.
Matt Fradd, on the other hand, is a Catholic. Fradd has spent much of his adult life urging people to quit pornography, and developing websites and resources to help pornography addicts.
But even though he’s Catholic, Fradd’s new anti-porn book, “The Porn Myth,” won’t quote the saints or the Bible or recommend a regimen of rosaries.
“I wanted to write a non-religious response to pro-pornography arguments,” Fradd said.
That’s not because he’s abandoned his beliefs, or thinks that faith has nothing to say about pornography.
“Whenever I get up to speak, people expect that I’m just going to use a bunch of moral arguments (against porn). And I have them, and I’m happy to use them, and I think ultimately that’s what we need to get to. But I think using science…is always the best way to introduce this issue to people.”
“In an increasingly secular culture, we need arguments based on scientific research, of which there’s been much,” he said. It’s why he cites numerous studies on each page of his book, and why he’s included 50 pages of additional appendixes citing additional research.
Fradd is careful to clarify in his book that it is not a book against sex or sexuality. What he does want to do is challenge the way many people have come to think about pornography, and question whether it leads to human flourishing.
“This book rests on one fundamental presupposition: if you want something to flourish, you need to use it in accordance with its nature,” Fradd wrote. “Don’t plant tomatoes in a dark closet and water them with soda and expect to have vibrant tomato plants. To do so would be to act contrary to the nature of tomatoes. Similarly, don’t rip sex out of its obvious relational context, turn it into a commodity, and then expect individuals, families and society to flourish.”
But why dedicate a whole book to the scientific effects of pornography?
Fradd said that the sheer volume of pornography consumption makes this an especially urgent book – and it’s at least two decades too late. According to one survey, about 63 percent of men and 21 percent of women ages 18-30 have reported that they view pornography several times a week – not to mention those viewing it slightly less often.
“If we have an iPhone we have a portable X-rated movie theater. And some studies suggest children as young as 8 are being exposed to it, so if I meet someone who’s 14, I know that they have looked at porn or are looking at it regularly,” Fradd said.
Fradd recalls in his book a study done by Melissa Farley, director of Prostitution Research and Education. When Farley’s team set out to do a study about men who buy sex, they had a difficult time finding men who don’t do so.
“The use of pornography, phone sex, lapdances, and other services has become so widespread that Farley’s team had to loosen their definition of a non-sex buyer in order to assemble a hundred-person control group for their research,” Fradd wrote.
Throughout the book, Fradd uses scientific research to debunk numerous and prevailing “myths” or arguments about pornography, including the ideas that pornography empowers women, that it isn’t addictive, and that it’s a healthy part of sexuality and relationships.
One of the most commonly believed myths is that pornography doesn’t hurt anyone, Fradd said. But he has found that pornography harms people personally, relationally, and societally.
On the personal level, a 2014 study from the Max Planck Institute for Human Development in Berlin found that frequent pornography use in men was associated with decreased brain matter in certain areas of the brain.
The abstract explained that the association may not be causation, but correlation, “which means that if porn isn’t shrinking your brain, it would mean that people with small brains like porn more,” Fradd said.
“It’s not a feather in your cap, either way.”
As for whether or not pornography empowers women, Fradd said that while he agrees that a woman who consents to producing pornography is in some sense “better” than a woman who is forced or coerced, but not by much, because pornography is still being used by the consumer to treat another person as a means to an end.
“No matter the level of consent, it is a manly thing to treat a woman who has forgotten her dignity with dignity nonetheless,” Fradd wrote.
Fradd also quotes Rebecca Whisnant, a feminist theory professor, who once refuted the myth of porn as female empowerment in a talk:
“Feminism is about ending the subordination of women. Expanding women’s freedom of choice on a variety of fronts is an important part of that, but it is not the whole story. In fact, any meaningful liberation movement involves not only claiming the right to make choices, but also holding oneself accountable for the effects of those choices on oneself and on others,” she said in a 2007 talk.
These women are also perpetuating a system that robs women, as a group, of empowerment, Fradd said, such as women who are sex trafficked while participating in the porn industry. By some estimates, two million women and girls are held in sexual slavery at any given time.
It’s part of the reason why Fradd is donating all of the proceeds of “The Porn Myth” to Children of the Immaculate Heart, a non-profit corporation operating in San Diego, Calif, whose mission is to serve survivors of human trafficking.
Porn also disempowers the women whose relationships are destroyed by men caught up in pornography addictions, Fradd noted.
“Ask the millions of women whose husbands habitually turn to porn. Do these women feel empowered by pornography?” Fradd asked.
Pornography use in marriage is one way that porn harms relationships. According to Fradd’s research, a survey of 350 divorce lawyers reported in 2003 that pornography was at least part of the problem in half of all divorce cases they saw.
Another commonly believed myth is that marriage will solve a porn addiction, which shows a misunderstanding of the psychology of addiction in the first place, Fradd explains.
But pornography can also damage the relationships of a single person looking for love.
A 2011 TED talk by psychologist Philip Zimbardo said that studies showed a “widespread fear of intimacy and social awkwardness among men,” and an inability to engage in face-to-face conversations with women, Fradd wrote.
“Why? Zimbardo says this is caused by disproportionate Internet use in general and excessive new access to pornography in particular. ‘Boys’ brains are being digitally rewired in a totally new way, for change, novelty, excitement.’”
And Zimbardo is not alone in his observations. As Fradd notes, neuroscientist William Struthers wrote in 2009 that “With repeated sexual acting out in the absence of a partner, a man will be bound and attached to the image and not a person.”
In other words, men can start preferring pixels to people. According to NoFap’s statistics in 2013, about half of their users had never had sex with a real person, meaning their only experience of sexual intimacy has been digital.
That reason alone has been why many people, men especially, have sought to kick their porn habits, Fradd said.
“I know agnostics or atheists who quit porn literally because they couldn’t have sex with people they were hooking up with. That’s why they quit porn. And these guys are fit, good-looking young men, who couldn’t get an erection around a young woman. But they realized if the woman left and they opened up their laptop they’d get an immediate erection.”
Studies have also shown that pornography addiction is driven by the increase in amounts, and varieties, of material readily available to anyone with access to the internet.
“People find themselves viewing more and more disturbing pornography, and the reason for this is because of a decrease in dopamine in the brain, which happens because of the addiction one has, and they end up seeking out more graphic, violent forms of pornogrpahy just to boost the dopamine enough to feel normal,” Fradd said.
“People don’t wake up when they’re 30 and decide to look at child porn or feces porn or something disgusting like that. These are big things that people spiral into, and the industry has to keep pushing the envelope because it’s addictive,” he added.
While the statistics of pornography can be disturbing and depressing, Fradd stressed that there was still hope. He devotes several chapters in the book to protecting children from pornography, dealing with pornograpy in marriage, and getting help for those addicted to pornography.
Fradd himself has spent years in ministry to those with pornography addictions, and helps run the site Integrity Restored, which offers numerous resources to help those struggling with addictions and those in ministry to them.
The most effective steps for someone to follow for someone addicted to porn?
“They should find a spiritual director, they should go to therapy, and they should find a 12 step group (like Sexaholics Anonymous),” Fradd said. “With those three things together, we’ve seen the most success.”
Often well-meaning Christians will relegate pornography addictions to the spiritual realm, telling people that they simply need to pray more, Fradd said. And while prayer isn’t a bad thing, it doesn’t address the psychological aspect of addiction.
“When people do things like put a picture of Mary on their laptop or pray more, it doesn’t actually usually work. It’s not a solely spiritual problem, so what we don’t need is a solely spiritual answer,” he said.
Just as you should encourage a clinically depressed person to seek counseling and therapy, you should also encourage someone experiencing addiction to seek professional help, he added.
Fradd said he’s also been encouraged by the number of celebrities who have recently spoken out against pornography, such as Pamela Anderson, British comedian Russell Brand, actors Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Rashida Jones, and former NFL player and “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” actor Terry Crews, to name a few.
Slowly, he said, society is catching up to the science that shows how harmful pornography can be.
“We’ve reached a tipping point in our culture such that everyone either struggles with porn and/or knows someone who does, and we all see the negative effects,” he said.
“So the porn industry’s cronies can tell us that pornography is healthy for well-rounded adults, but they now sound like the tobacco apologists sounded like in the 80s. In light of the evidence, their assertions seem increasingly ridiculous.”
Fradd’s book is available at: https://www.thepornmyth.com/
[…]
Hear Ye! Hear Ye!
A ‘Captain Obvious’ award for the Archbishop!!
Cardinal Gregory should spend more time increasing enrollment in his Church instead of expecting a man-made government to define what is right and wrong. God created His Church to define morality and He gave us the Word of God to change people’s hearts. We are not one with a man-made government—we stand alone.
Yes, I agree with you completely; but it becomes complicated and messy when we engage in the very secular and amoral (at best) political process, and hope to effect moral change. Lines become blurred as democracy expects, even demands compromises. The separation of Church and State has never been easy whenever the Church has been able to have a voice. Things are much clearer and, paradoxically easier during times of persecution.
On the most sacred day of Christians, Easter Day, after having declared Easter Day TRANSGENDER VISIBILITY DAY, On Sunday afternoon, Biden’s X account tweeted: “Today, on Transgender Day of Visibility, I have a simple message to all trans Americans: I see you. You are made in the image of God.” By contrast, DT is asking Americans to buy and read The Bible, The Constitution, The Bill of Rights… in the God Bless America Bible. He does not get a penny from the bying of this Bible. God bless DT for promoting such good things. Let God judge the other guy…
God will judge both on the same scale and I fear will find both severely lacking, and we can only hope for equal mercy.
Even in a liberal news source that I would not classify as “Catholic friendly,” they have noted that 80 priests have been killed in Ukraine, by Putin’s bombs or soldiers. 80 priests seems a bit disproportionate, as if there may be some targeted killings going on. If remotely true (80 priests killed, targeted or not) why is the church not making more noise about this? And if it’s “American Christian Culture” — why are Putin’s DT Stooges in congress withholding aid to Ukraine — with “Christian DT’s” encouragement. DT doesn’t think Catholics are Christian, or what?
Cardinal Gregory is a master politician. He appears to be trying to “manage” Biden, without confrontation, so now what? Refusal of Communion? Excommunication? Or perhaps sternly worded missives that really do not lead to anything?
Cardinal Gregory will admonish Biden, without any real disciplinary action. He did not get that red hat for nothing.
Is Cardinal Gregory a Cafeteria Cardinal?
My understanding is that the Episcopalian church has pretty much fallen off the cliff. Shoddy reasoning, on display here in the words of Episcopalian bishop Mariann Budde, may have something to do with that.
That’s mostly true Cleo.
The mainline US Episcopal denomination’s following a similar path to extinction as the CE. There are individual exceptions & more orthodox Anglican alternatives but as a whole it’s a bleak picture.
We had a sad situation with an historic Episcopal church. The congregation was mostly traditionally minded & after things like women clergy & SS “marriage” were okayed by their bishops they voted to align under an African Anglican diocese instead. Following that, all you know what broke out. After a lengthy legal battle the beautiful, historic church building was awarded back to the US diocese & the orthodox congregation moved out to an obscure building elsewhere.
The historic church is fairly empty on Sundays & will likely continue to see a shrinking & ageing congregation, while those old fashioned Episcopalians who were forced out are having families & attracting new members. Maybe one day they’ll return home to their old church. Who knows?
“Gregory said he would not be at all surprised to learn that Pope Francis has engaged Biden on the President’s embrace of pro-abortion ideology”.
I would – I would be VERY surprised.
I am bowled over by the depth of Wilton Gregory! He noticed this subtle aspect of the President’s approach to Catholicism? Wow! Let’s be honest: Wilton is a “cafeteria cleric” — he knows what he should be doing as Archbishop of Washington with the myriad of “Catholics” in his diocese who promote what Vatican II called an “unspeakable crime” but he won’t. He knows what he ought to do with regard to admission to the Eucharist of these “Catholics” — but he won’t. So, I guess if he’s going to lecture on cafeteria Catholicism (which, by the way, I didn’t know was out of style as a term), takes one to know one.
Maybe Wilton Gregory could tell us what Donald Wuerl has been up to these days.
I confess to a certain astonishment upon the conclusion of the interview with Cardinal Gregory. My own premonitions of Gregory had caused me to anticipate a rather more liberal position. I had entertained an anxious apprehension that His Eminence might, through a misplaced sympathy with certain contemporary currents of thought, be disinclined to offer a forthright critique of the current administration.
Thankfully, these anxieties proved unfounded. The Cardinal’s pronouncements were, I daresay, precisely what one would expect from a man of his stature, utterances seasoned with wisdom and a commendable frankness.
Now, with respect to Episcopalian Budde, her pronouncements, alas, were entirely predictable. They echoed the tenets of a theological system demonstrably at odds with the core tenets of the Christian faith. A system that diminishes the centrality and need of Christ’s sacrifice, a sacrifice freely offered for the salvation of mankind. The modern theology of “I’m okay and you’re okay.”
Not good! Something more sinister is going on here. The leftist, more accurately neo Marxist, in control are going all out to deemphasize or eliminate the American Christian culture. The Cardinal like so many Catholic hierarchy are either afraid to push back i.e. spineless or unfortunately tacitly agree. As said somewhere else “God will not be mocked”. I fear the consequences.
Curious. What is (or was) the “American Christian Culture” that the left is out to destroy? In 250 words or less?
At times a faithful sentence or two from a considered progressive prelate seems enlightening, even hopeful. Cafeteria Catholics however are the apparent majority of church going Catholics. Does calling Biden’s Catholicism the cafeteria kind have good effect besides feeling enlightened? Like Confucianism black can be white and white black.
Our day is distant, far more in doctrinal observance than chronology from 390 AD when Saint Ambrose ordered emperor Theodosius to publicly repent for excessive cruelty. And he repented! What would we expect if Cardinal Archbishop Gregory were to impose such a sanction on Biden? Perhaps ‘malarkey’ from the president. Although I wager a lot of those cafeteria Catholics would at least spill their caffe lattes. Maybe even driven to reflection.
Fr. Morello;
Your question “does calling Biden’s Catholicism ‘the cafeteria kind’ have good effects besides feeling enlightened?”
To the actual question I would have to say “not really” but I would point out that it IS important to make that point frequently enough so that people – Catholic and non-Catholic, practicing Catholic and non-practicing Catholic – don’t forget it. In addition to that – the fact that Cardinal Gregory is the one who made that point makes it that much more notable.
Archbishop Gregory correctly identified Joe Biden as a “cafeteria Catholic.” However there is a distinction to be made between the mostly anonymous Cafeteria Crowd who may or may not deeply ponder and respond to Church teachings and the highly ranked public officials like President Biden who holds his rosary in his hand while promising to reinstate Roe v. Wade. The President and his kind were blessed with the same free will as the rest of us made in the image and likeness of God.
They may use their free will to choose what is right or wrong. Biden has very publicly and strongly supported abortion. He is free (not right) to do so. However, as a so-called practicing Catholic, he is not in communion with his Church. He knows it; the bishops know it. He does not possess the formation of conscience to recuse himself from Holy Communion and the bishops do not want to suggest he should. We are in a very public stalemate. Why should any Cafeteria Catholic choose the harder road?
Why? Because if you self-excommunicate, you drink damnation! A very good reason, I would think. However we must allow the possibility of the sacrament of confession and the 70 times 70. We can never make a sure judgment of another.
It used to be called apostacy, but because certain people are more high profile than others it is excusable.
Pres. Biden offers a good life lesson and WARNING for those of us who profess and attempt to live our lives under the authority of the Catholic Church (The Church that Jesus founded!). POWER can corrupt! This man, a baptized, practicing Catholic, used to vote pro-life, and this would have “OK” for all Democrats in a not-so-long-ago past. But the opportunity to be Vice-President and eventually President has caused him to turn his back on Holy Mother Church, the Bible, the Blessed Mother and all the saints, and the Triune God–and throw his support to the cause of abortion–the killing of innocent human beings! (In addition, he openly encourages sinful sexual practices by honoring the LGBTQ+ movement, although the actual LGBTQ+ Day has always been March 31, so the President did not purposely try to turn Easter into a perversity.) I do hope Catholics will recognize that the Democratic Party that was once supportive of the Catholic Church and Christianity in general is no longer safe to support. No doubt, in some towns and cities in the U.S., there are Democratic politicians who are still pro-life and pro-Christianity, but eventually they will be forced by their Party to change their attitude or get out of the Democratic Party. Catholics need to abandon this Party no matter how grateful we are for its support of the “Little Man” in the past. I can’t say that the Republican Party is much better, but at least many Republican politicians are fighting against abortion and supporting pro-life activities. God help our nation to repent of our national sins and God help every Catholic to remain true to Holy Mother Church and Jesus Christ, our Risen Lord and Savior!
Having read Cardinal Gregory’s comments, I find myself thinking of Rip Van Winkle, waking up after a 20 yr. snooze. With few exceptions the American bishops have been asleep while pro abortion “Catholic” politicians become bolder and bolder in their support of radical abortion “rights”. And, of course, these politicians trumpet their Catholic identities, jingle rosary beads and show up on Communion lines where they are generally cordially received. And when they die, a lavish Catholic funeral awaits them (Ted Kennedy, Mario Cuomo). And the snoozing goes on.
Cardinal Gregory continues to offer Communion to these politicians in Washington. They are more than cafetria Catholics. They firmly, publicly and consistently reject basic Catholic teaching and energetically promote policies directly contrary to that teaching.
Does the Cardinal or Pope Francis really believe that the solution is an encounter with Biden & Co.? to walk them to help them discern evil? These politicians know very well what they are doing to get votes, to please the hard left, to get money for their campaigns and media approval. They are driven by money, power, ambition. Will our Bishops ever wake up and proclaim to them the teaching of Christ, “Sin No More’?
If Cdl Abp Gregory wished to affirm the Way, the Truth and the Life he would have simply said you cannot be a Catholic and proselytize for murder in the womb. Otherwise he speaks something other than Truth.
Gregory doesn’t get any credit for his milktoast millimouth “cafeteria catholic” line – Call Biden out…you and the rest of the spineless bishops say nothing.
The uncorrected scandal which Biden is giving continues. A ‘cafeteria Catholic’ is no Catholic at all. Gregory participates in Biden’s crime and deviance on every day that goes by and he does not publicly acknowledge Biden’s de-facto excommunication. Isn’t it obvious that Gregory has become complicit in desecration of the Eucharist by not exercising his authority, as Biden, in his old age, draws nearer to his personal judgment. Publicly excommunicate the man, for Heaven’s sake! He may die soon and take others with him! Justice demands it for his sake and the good of others.
Not content with declaring the most important day for Christians as “transgender visibility day” and adding that “transgenders are made in the image of God,” the figure head of the present regime has banned Easter eggs with any religious symbolism from the White House’s Easter eggs event. The regime’s effort to erase Christianity is relentless. By contrast, Dt is urging us to read the Bible, the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, The Pledge of Allegiance, in a Bible the sales of which will not go to his pocket but to the creator of the hit song “God Bless the USA “and the makers of this Bible (“The God Bless the USA Bible,” which includes the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, etc.). With all his faults, DT is on our side. The other one is against. One is promoting Christianity and patriotism; the other is trying to destroy both.
The figure head of the present regime has banned Easter eggs with any religious symbolism from the White House’s Easter eggs event. The regime’s effort to erase Christianity is relentless. He had earlier declared the most important day for Christians as “transgender visibility day” and added that “transgenders are made in the image of God,” By contrast, Dt is urging us to read the Bible, the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, The Pledge of Allegiance, in a Bible the sales of which will not go to his pocket but to the creator of the hit song “God Bless the USA “and the makers of this Bible (“The God Bless the USA Bible,” which includes the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, etc.). With all his faults, DT is on our side. The other one is against. One is promoting Christianity and patriotism; the other is trying to destroy both.
Although I think greater public condemnation of Biden’s anti Catholic actions are warranted by Cardinal Gregory, publicly calling Biden a “cafeteria Catholic” is a good start, something no one wants to be called. I think Gregory has met with Biden several times, and has been told not to approach the altar for communion. The incident in 2019 when Biden was denied the Eucharist in South Carolina I think is not a one-off anomaly. And since then the liberal press has reported “Biden goes to Mass”, but might be giving him air over and he’s not receiving. My guess is there are many priests in DC that have told the Cardinal they are not comfortable giving Biden Communion. Also, after Biden was denied in South Carolina, shouldn’t that have been a lightning strike wake-up call to any Catholic to repent? Since then however Biden has only tripled. Down on his pro abortion, gay trans rhetoric. I do believe however he’s not receiving at Mass.
Why is the head of this demonic regime not being excommunicated?
Another “Prefect” example of why the state of the State is in that state!