
San Francisco, Calif., Mar 26, 2017 / 04:02 pm (CNA/EWTN News).- In 2013, Beyonce Knowles topped GQ’s list of “The 100 Hottest Women of the 21st Century.”
That same year, the “definitive men’s magazine” that promises “sexy women” along with style advice, entertainment news and more ran a shorter listicle: “10 Reasons Why You Should Quit Watching Porn.”
The list included reasons such as decreased sexual impotence in men that regularly viewed pornography, and a reported lack of control of sexual desires. It was inspired by an interview with NoFap, an online community of people dedicated to holding each other accountable in abstaining from pornography and masturbation.The site clearly states that it is decidedly non-religious.
Matt Fradd, on the other hand, is a Catholic. Fradd has spent much of his adult life urging people to quit pornography, and developing websites and resources to help pornography addicts.
But even though he’s Catholic, Fradd’s new anti-porn book, “The Porn Myth,” won’t quote the saints or the Bible or recommend a regimen of rosaries.
“I wanted to write a non-religious response to pro-pornography arguments,” Fradd said.
That’s not because he’s abandoned his beliefs, or thinks that faith has nothing to say about pornography.
“Whenever I get up to speak, people expect that I’m just going to use a bunch of moral arguments (against porn). And I have them, and I’m happy to use them, and I think ultimately that’s what we need to get to. But I think using science…is always the best way to introduce this issue to people.”
“In an increasingly secular culture, we need arguments based on scientific research, of which there’s been much,” he said. It’s why he cites numerous studies on each page of his book, and why he’s included 50 pages of additional appendixes citing additional research.
Fradd is careful to clarify in his book that it is not a book against sex or sexuality. What he does want to do is challenge the way many people have come to think about pornography, and question whether it leads to human flourishing.
“This book rests on one fundamental presupposition: if you want something to flourish, you need to use it in accordance with its nature,” Fradd wrote. “Don’t plant tomatoes in a dark closet and water them with soda and expect to have vibrant tomato plants. To do so would be to act contrary to the nature of tomatoes. Similarly, don’t rip sex out of its obvious relational context, turn it into a commodity, and then expect individuals, families and society to flourish.”
But why dedicate a whole book to the scientific effects of pornography?
Fradd said that the sheer volume of pornography consumption makes this an especially urgent book – and it’s at least two decades too late. According to one survey, about 63 percent of men and 21 percent of women ages 18-30 have reported that they view pornography several times a week – not to mention those viewing it slightly less often.
“If we have an iPhone we have a portable X-rated movie theater. And some studies suggest children as young as 8 are being exposed to it, so if I meet someone who’s 14, I know that they have looked at porn or are looking at it regularly,” Fradd said.
Fradd recalls in his book a study done by Melissa Farley, director of Prostitution Research and Education. When Farley’s team set out to do a study about men who buy sex, they had a difficult time finding men who don’t do so.
“The use of pornography, phone sex, lapdances, and other services has become so widespread that Farley’s team had to loosen their definition of a non-sex buyer in order to assemble a hundred-person control group for their research,” Fradd wrote.
Throughout the book, Fradd uses scientific research to debunk numerous and prevailing “myths” or arguments about pornography, including the ideas that pornography empowers women, that it isn’t addictive, and that it’s a healthy part of sexuality and relationships.
One of the most commonly believed myths is that pornography doesn’t hurt anyone, Fradd said. But he has found that pornography harms people personally, relationally, and societally.
On the personal level, a 2014 study from the Max Planck Institute for Human Development in Berlin found that frequent pornography use in men was associated with decreased brain matter in certain areas of the brain.
The abstract explained that the association may not be causation, but correlation, “which means that if porn isn’t shrinking your brain, it would mean that people with small brains like porn more,” Fradd said.
“It’s not a feather in your cap, either way.”
As for whether or not pornography empowers women, Fradd said that while he agrees that a woman who consents to producing pornography is in some sense “better” than a woman who is forced or coerced, but not by much, because pornography is still being used by the consumer to treat another person as a means to an end.
“No matter the level of consent, it is a manly thing to treat a woman who has forgotten her dignity with dignity nonetheless,” Fradd wrote.
Fradd also quotes Rebecca Whisnant, a feminist theory professor, who once refuted the myth of porn as female empowerment in a talk:
“Feminism is about ending the subordination of women. Expanding women’s freedom of choice on a variety of fronts is an important part of that, but it is not the whole story. In fact, any meaningful liberation movement involves not only claiming the right to make choices, but also holding oneself accountable for the effects of those choices on oneself and on others,” she said in a 2007 talk.
These women are also perpetuating a system that robs women, as a group, of empowerment, Fradd said, such as women who are sex trafficked while participating in the porn industry. By some estimates, two million women and girls are held in sexual slavery at any given time.
It’s part of the reason why Fradd is donating all of the proceeds of “The Porn Myth” to Children of the Immaculate Heart, a non-profit corporation operating in San Diego, Calif, whose mission is to serve survivors of human trafficking.
Porn also disempowers the women whose relationships are destroyed by men caught up in pornography addictions, Fradd noted.
“Ask the millions of women whose husbands habitually turn to porn. Do these women feel empowered by pornography?” Fradd asked.
Pornography use in marriage is one way that porn harms relationships. According to Fradd’s research, a survey of 350 divorce lawyers reported in 2003 that pornography was at least part of the problem in half of all divorce cases they saw.
Another commonly believed myth is that marriage will solve a porn addiction, which shows a misunderstanding of the psychology of addiction in the first place, Fradd explains.
But pornography can also damage the relationships of a single person looking for love.
A 2011 TED talk by psychologist Philip Zimbardo said that studies showed a “widespread fear of intimacy and social awkwardness among men,” and an inability to engage in face-to-face conversations with women, Fradd wrote.
“Why? Zimbardo says this is caused by disproportionate Internet use in general and excessive new access to pornography in particular. ‘Boys’ brains are being digitally rewired in a totally new way, for change, novelty, excitement.’”
And Zimbardo is not alone in his observations. As Fradd notes, neuroscientist William Struthers wrote in 2009 that “With repeated sexual acting out in the absence of a partner, a man will be bound and attached to the image and not a person.”
In other words, men can start preferring pixels to people. According to NoFap’s statistics in 2013, about half of their users had never had sex with a real person, meaning their only experience of sexual intimacy has been digital.
That reason alone has been why many people, men especially, have sought to kick their porn habits, Fradd said.
“I know agnostics or atheists who quit porn literally because they couldn’t have sex with people they were hooking up with. That’s why they quit porn. And these guys are fit, good-looking young men, who couldn’t get an erection around a young woman. But they realized if the woman left and they opened up their laptop they’d get an immediate erection.”
Studies have also shown that pornography addiction is driven by the increase in amounts, and varieties, of material readily available to anyone with access to the internet.
“People find themselves viewing more and more disturbing pornography, and the reason for this is because of a decrease in dopamine in the brain, which happens because of the addiction one has, and they end up seeking out more graphic, violent forms of pornogrpahy just to boost the dopamine enough to feel normal,” Fradd said.
“People don’t wake up when they’re 30 and decide to look at child porn or feces porn or something disgusting like that. These are big things that people spiral into, and the industry has to keep pushing the envelope because it’s addictive,” he added.
While the statistics of pornography can be disturbing and depressing, Fradd stressed that there was still hope. He devotes several chapters in the book to protecting children from pornography, dealing with pornograpy in marriage, and getting help for those addicted to pornography.
Fradd himself has spent years in ministry to those with pornography addictions, and helps run the site Integrity Restored, which offers numerous resources to help those struggling with addictions and those in ministry to them.
The most effective steps for someone to follow for someone addicted to porn?
“They should find a spiritual director, they should go to therapy, and they should find a 12 step group (like Sexaholics Anonymous),” Fradd said. “With those three things together, we’ve seen the most success.”
Often well-meaning Christians will relegate pornography addictions to the spiritual realm, telling people that they simply need to pray more, Fradd said. And while prayer isn’t a bad thing, it doesn’t address the psychological aspect of addiction.
“When people do things like put a picture of Mary on their laptop or pray more, it doesn’t actually usually work. It’s not a solely spiritual problem, so what we don’t need is a solely spiritual answer,” he said.
Just as you should encourage a clinically depressed person to seek counseling and therapy, you should also encourage someone experiencing addiction to seek professional help, he added.
Fradd said he’s also been encouraged by the number of celebrities who have recently spoken out against pornography, such as Pamela Anderson, British comedian Russell Brand, actors Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Rashida Jones, and former NFL player and “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” actor Terry Crews, to name a few.
Slowly, he said, society is catching up to the science that shows how harmful pornography can be.
“We’ve reached a tipping point in our culture such that everyone either struggles with porn and/or knows someone who does, and we all see the negative effects,” he said.
“So the porn industry’s cronies can tell us that pornography is healthy for well-rounded adults, but they now sound like the tobacco apologists sounded like in the 80s. In light of the evidence, their assertions seem increasingly ridiculous.”
Fradd’s book is available at: https://www.thepornmyth.com/
[…]
Julia Mc Stravog and the theology of job security…
Wondering here if these warmed-over leftovers will again redefine bishops–the Successors of the Apostles–“primarily as facilitators,” as the half-pregnant topics of “structures, organization and leadership” are groomed toward, what, “inverted-pyramid” congregationalism?
Is the agenda less to talk about it, than by default to already to do it? The Anglicanization of the Catholic Church…this as the Anglican ecclesial communion, itself, is rupturing over the same militant ambiguities: https://theweek.com/religion/1021097/african-anglican-leaders-threaten-split-from-church-of-england-over-same-sex-union
Some “synthesis!”
Listening sessions?? Do they not mean “gripe sessions”??? This has already been a large disaster in Germany. I suppose the Vatican has learned nothing. People who are content with church structure and theology will not bother to attend these sessions mostly likely, because they have no agenda to push and have better things to do. The sessions will then be over-run by the shrill and the demanding, who are a definite minority but always make the most noise.I am seriously sick of hearing over and over about the idea of women in the diaconate and the celibacy issue. Further, where do they get off giving special attention to migrants ( who already absorb too many church resources) and the poor? What makes the poor more deserving to be listened to than those who are in actual fact donating money so the church can accomplish it’s mission and “stay in business” if you will. Evidently these days following the rules and the law and achieving enough success to help your church financially now makes your opinions less worthy to be heard. A lot of us have had more than enough of this garbage.
Wow – seems like you have your own agenda!
I am sick to death of the synod. Enough already.
Can we meet and talk about talking more about meeting?
We’ll do that at some future Synod on Synods on synodalites called for by Pope Francine I.
Dialogue: ˈdīəˌlôɡ Definition: As a verb, Take part in a conversation or discussion to resolve a problem where I pretend to listen to you and then I do what I had already planned to do. Synonym: synod
This type of activity has been oftentimes referred to as “contemplating one’s navel.” As a male of the species I can say that men are not wired to sit around and talk all day. It’s not our mode of operating.
I tend to agree: “The emphasis on conversation between clergy and laity is good in principle, but much of it, again, is navel-gazing. Lumen gentium (37–38) envisions a mature laity who are confident in living their faith in the world…” (“A Muddled Report for a Messy Synod”, Dec 5, 2023).
Carl, I swear, I did not plagiarize your piece. 🙂
Dreaming of Synodaling…
Me: “Hello everyone. I’m Fool.”
Fellow Synodalers: “Hello Fool! Welcome.”
And just like that, I begging to finally feel empowered…
I thought we already did these listening sessions last year…??
What? No trip to Rome?
During Lent? Marzo è pazzo!
No, the next paid vacation for the Synod of Sycophants is in October.
To be fair, Synodaling is no fun. It’s like sitting through Kabuki Theater, slowly inventing religion with weaponized boredom.
It is probably appropriate that these Synodal listening sessions are taking place during Lent, a penitential season.
The purpose is to replace penitential Lent with the post sin-odd dally-meetings. No time for Stations of the Cross?
And the synodal topic is the new trinitarianism: structure/ organization/ and leadership:
Structure: the fluid opposite of a needed spinal implant?
Organization: roundtable talk as the needed replacement for pre-Vatican II and “backwardist” Friday night Bingo?
Leadership: leadership-from-behind, which finds its analogue in the piggy-backed posturing of Fiducia Supplicans?
Keep the peasants distracted with synodality’s new trinitarianism…
…whilst the embedded leadership elites, behind the Wizard-of-Oz curtain, decide (deicide?) about such oxymorons and deaconesses and the blessing of same-sex pairings; aka “irregular” couples, unions, serial bigamy, and cohabitation;….And, gradually [“gradualism”!] not clearly excluding [inclusivity] polygamy, incest, bestiality, and rape as unilateral outreach?
Our former priest, in dealing with both the parish and the k-8 school issues, remarked once that, “some Catholics are born with a lemon in their mouth.”
A bishop or priest’s job would be a lot easier if the world did not run on money, or on staying compliant with the state and local authorities on questionable mandates and rules. Which political party in power actually cares about the poor, and not their voting power?
Good luck with the America’s synod. Might want to include the corporations that are running the country in your invitations, in order to get their perspective.
It does dishearten good Catholics when we seem to be experiencing deja vu in this round 2. My heart goes out to the poor and the migrants, but clearly the Church is ignoring the faithful as an earlier comment stated. Those good people who go to daily Mass are the ones the Church should really be talking with. They will tell you to keep your eyes on Jesus. Nothing else is worth talking about.
“Where have I seen or experienced successes — and distresses — within the Church’s structure(s)/organization/leadership/life that encourage or hinder the mission?”
I’ll tell you where I’ve seen distresses…half of the priests I’ve encountered since childhood presented as overtly homosexual and one tried to get me in bed when I was 18. I know they’ve made my life harder as an evangelist because I constantly have to answer for their misdeeds, but the Bishops won’t even admit the source of the issue. Additionally, multiple priests have warped the liturgy and thumbed their noses at the rubrics because of their personal agendas. A Monsignor I currently work with, at the beginning of Mass, rather than saying, “Let us call to mind our sins” says, “Let us call to mind the places in our lives that need healing”. Monsignor, stop trying to soften it. We sin. We need to know that we sin. God wants us to know that we sin so that we can get serious about changing.
Lastly, I’ve noticed that the only bishops who publicly promote orthodoxy are silenced, ridiculed and fired without explanation. There. I’ve participated in the synodaling.
I’ll tell you where –
Navigator, thanks for your truth-telling. We need more witnesses like you to indict the bad players in the Church.
Even in the guitar swinging 70s we were taught in religion class that you cannot take away the core parts of the mass but can only add on.
You were sent to heal the contrite…
You came to call sinners…
You plead for us at the right hand of the Father..,
Simple, powerful, directly to the point of the existence of the Church and our faith in Christ.
Rediculous. A tried and true way to imply you are listening while pursuing your own agenda.
Exactly, Mr.Carl.
🙂
Several years ago I joined a Daylily gardening club hoping to learn more about growing that flower.
Each meeting began with a review of the minutes of the previous meeting, talk about when the next meeting would occur, and updates on members who were under the weather, etc. Then door prizes were given out and they’d adjourn the meeting for refreshments. Never once did I hear anything about daylilies.Nada.
You should have brought a petunia to a meeting and asked the group if anyone knew what was wrong with your daylily. ha ha
The chatting reminds me of our phone service being on a party line growing up, competing with a lot of stay at home moms for phone line time.
Julia McStravog, the USCCB’s senior adviser for the synod is the equivalent of a school marm instructing her class of third graders. Except her wards are grown men wearing purple zucchettos instructed to Listen, listen, listen and continue to listen. As if they have nothing to convey. Apostolic successors reduced to buffoons. Another travesty product of the Synodal Church.
Saying that they’re reduced to buffoons is unfair, rather bishops are neutralized from fulfilling their mission. There are many who do well within their dioceses, what they require is the right leadership from Rome. If there were ever a time for bishops and all clergy to convey the Gospels with clarity and conviction it is now, when the world is on the path of self annihilation. This Synod is conceptually antithetical to the saving message of Christ.
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(Sorry to text yell, I just wanted some validation…)
I remember going to one of those “listening sessions” 30 some years ago when the topic was the US Bishops’ attempt to write a document about Women in the Church. The manipulative setup of the affair helped radicalize me into the critical person I am today. The voices of normal, faithful Catholics aren’t the ones that such programs are designed to “hear.”
1. I believe this is “the structure” of the Church established by Jesus:
A. Jesus = Head of the Body, and governs as King;
B. Bishops who are in Union with Jesus, as his Apostles were, and united around a faithful steward of Jesus, the Bishop of Rome, and by virtue of their union with Jesus, in union with their pastors and flocks.
C. Pastors who are in Union with Jesus, and by virtue of that, in union with their Bishop, etc.
D. Faithful laity, in union with Jesus, and by virtue of that, in union with their pastor, etc.
2. The “synod-bureaucrats,” led in their objectives by the Eminent Cardinal Hollerich, SJ, who has, with tacit approval of the Pontiff Francis, SJ, publicly declared himself opposed to the commands of Jesus regarding sexual morality, and very specifically so declaring that the revelation against sodomy is wrong, indicates that he and his fellow Synod bureaucrats are “colonized” by psycho-sexual-Marxist ideology, and as such they declare themselves opposed to Jesus, as he and his apostles are, in their high estimation, “wrong-headed” about sexual morality, and therefore not fit to rule the “new-Church” they seek to establish, to replace “The Body of Christ,” by decapitating it.
3. It is noteworthy that among the scriptures cited by “the-long-lent-of-the-2024-synod-bureacrat-series” is St. Paul’s Letter to the Romans, Chapter 12, encouraging us to “offer our bodies as a living sacrifice” and warning us “do not be conformed to the world,” a piece of revelation in gigantic contradiction to the ideology animating the psycho-sexual Marxist-idelogues who are animating the “synod-manufactured-by-the-Pontiff-Francis.”
4. The only question to be answered is which characters, along with “His Emenince Hollerich, SJ” in the “publicly-apostate-anti-Christ-synod” are just using the quotation from Romans 12 as a Trojan Horse for their new-anti-Christ-ideological-cult.
Answer to question 1: distresses include women lectors and talk about deaconesses and blessings of “irregular” (i.e. sinful) unions. Also limiting access to the Traditional Latin Mass especially at the parish level. Let the bishop run the diocese, not Rome. Answer to question 2: more Adoration, more Holy Hours, Rosaries, prayers. More reverent masses with Catholic Gregorian chant and other music, not Protestant type music and church architecture. As to why the idea that discussion about liturgy might not come up because discussion is about organization, what about letting the organization discussion include the choice of Latin mass, kneeling for communion, Ad Orientem, etc be at the very local level, parochial and diocesan, not at Rome? That is part of the organization picture, isn’t it?
I recommend this, from Fr. kirby, at TCT, today:
https://www.thecatholicthing.org/