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Six things I wanted to say to the Mom who travelled to kill her baby

As pro-life people, we know there is a better solution to a surprise pregnancy—one that preserves the life of the innocent baby and that seeks to better the life of his mother.

(Image: Liane Metzler/Unsplash.com)

A recent article in The Guardian opened with this line: “By the time Chasity Dunans learned about her pregnancy, she had already lost the right to end it.”

In that short sentence, readers understand where The Guardian is going with this story. It presumes a “right” that isn’t actually one, as ending the life of an innocent preborn baby is not now, nor has it ever been, a right. Though some states allow this killing, we cannot consider the end result of this law a right, as in this sense a right is “the power or privilege to which one is justly entitled.” To fully understand that definition, we should look at the definition of just—“acting or being in conformity with what is morally upright or good.”

Thus, taking the life of an innocent human being—regardless of his or her stage of development—is always a grave evil and can never be considered morally good or a right.

Yet articles like this one want to play on the heartstrings of this couple’s financial difficulties to justify the killing of their baby. Instead of devising ways to help both mom and baby, it perpetuates the lie that the only—and best—solution is abortion.

Throughout the article, we read about Dunans’ financial struggles and about the “hardship” she faced because she lives in Georgia and found out about her baby after the time when abortion is legal there. So she and her boyfriend traveled to Virginia for the abortion.

At the abortuary in Virginia, on the day she was there, so many women waited to kill their babies that the staff had to stay late. Imagine the carnage in that building as multiple babies’ bodies were torn apart, families were destroyed, and the abortion clinic got richer and richer.

Sadness was the pervasive theme throughout the article. As pro-life people, we know there is a better solution to a surprise pregnancy—one that preserves the life of the innocent baby and that seeks to better the life of his mother.

And as pro-life people, we want to use the wisdom of our years of experience and of our knowledge to help moms and babies. We not only educate, but we equip mothers with the tools necessary to improve their lives.

We cannot change what happened to Dunans and her baby, but we can—and must—work to save the lives of others. If I could have spoken with Dunans before she had her abortion, this is what I would have said:

1. Pro-life people hear you and understand your fears.

Oftentimes, someone in the midst of a crisis pregnancy feels trapped. With the world shouting that abortion is an easy fix, it’s only human nature to want to believe that. Listening and understanding are the hallmarks of counseling a pregnant mother. Only then can we find viable solutions that respect both the mom and baby.

2. The preborn baby is a human being from the time the sperm fertilizes the egg.

The science of embryology teaches this fact, though the world chooses to ignore it. Dunans referred to her baby as an “it,” but her baby’s sex had already been determined. Her little boy or little girl was growing by leaps and bounds every day. At the time of Dunans’ abortion, her baby—who was 14 weeks old—was about four inches crown to rump, regularly moved his arms and legs, and was already developing hair and eyebrows.

3. There is so much help available.

Pregnancy care centers, nonprofit organizations like Let Them Live, Catholic Charities, local churches, and more are staffed with people who truly care about both the mom and her baby. They offer financial, emotional, and even educational support so the mom does not feel alone in her decision to raise her baby and so she has the means to accomplish this.

4. Adoption is a loving option.

Thousands of families unable to conceive their own child would welcome someone else’s. A mother can choose an open adoption, where she maintains some form of contact with the child, or she can choose a closed adoption, where she has no contact with him. Giving a child the chance to live and grow up with a family is a selfless act that affirms his right to life and his dignity.

5. The preborn child has a right to life.

Dunans stated, “You should have that choice to determine how your life should go, especially if you cannot handle a child.” What she meant was the mother should have a choice, not the child. Too often, people fail to think about the rights of the preborn child because he cannot speak for himself. Whether the mantra is “bans off our bodies” or “my body, my choice,” this mentality dismisses an entire class of human beings and tells the world they have no value. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

6. Many moms feel psychological pain after an abortion.

The staff at Rachel’s Vineyard understand the sadness that mothers feel after aborting their babies. This anguish may come a week after the abortion, 30 years after the abortion, or anywhere in between. They offer retreats and counseling to help post-abortive moms and dads heal.

In a sad twist of irony, when The Guardian article described the décor around the office of the abortuary in Virginia, it referred to a quote stenciled on one of the walls. The quote said: “If you are not outraged, you are not paying attention.”

Indeed, I agree, but not for the reason originally intended. In every abortion, a baby loses his life. Violently. To say that abortion is a travesty of epic proportions is not an understatement. This is why we fight every day to educate, to assist, and to create a culture where all human beings are cherished and protected.

Abortion is not a right; it is murder.

So I think we should amend that quote and say instead, If you are not outraged by abortion, you are not paying attention.


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About Susan Ciancio 60 Articles
Susan Ciancio is a graduate of the University of Notre Dame and has worked as a writer and editor for nearly 19 years; 13 of those years have been in the pro-life sector. Currently, she is the editor of American Life League’s Celebrate Life Magazine—the nation’s premier Catholic pro-life magazine. She is also the executive editor of ALL’s Culture of Life Studies Program—a pre-K-12 Catholic pro-life education organization.

21 Comments

  1. Wow, how heartbreaking! With what just happened in Ohio, this will happen more often. Women, please know that someone wants your baby! Someone will love your baby. You will love your baby. Please please please please don’t kill her or him.

  2. What hope can we place in any culture that thinks it’s alright to kill human persons in their earliest and most vulnerable state of development? There is nothing farther from God than tĥis act.

  3. I just wonder if we changed the perspective to be more female focused, the prolife cause might have more success. So something like: “I cant believe that we have created a society where a woman and mother believes that the best outcome for her is killing her child. Women have the unique ability to conceive, gestate and nuture their children – our next generation upon which we are all dependent – and yet our society tells them that to realize their full potential they should kill their child. That is a society which is the antithesis of “feminism”.

  4. Don’t like abortion .then don’t have one. Stop trying to create a society where women are treated like breeding cattle. Thank you Ohio..on to the next state

    • To not abandon women and their children in dire circumstances is the opposite of the diseased souls that would presume that dire circumstances reduces them to catagorical utilitarian functionality devoid of sacred dignity, hope, and a divinely endowed right to life.

    • Jane, tell that to the dead babies. Your words ring hollow. Womanhood and motherhood are inextricably linked. Unfortunately, I doubt you’ll ever understand that. But there is hope for you if you go to the Blessed Virgin Mary who is the model of womanhood and motherhood.

    • … or consecrated male female marriage vowed to God is taught in error as by the deliberately groomed roman catholic church role group as lesser than the “higher vocation” (TTMHS,PCF,1995,35; cf. St Paul, 1Cor7:25-34) of consecrated celibate marriage vowed to man in Christ as a non-economic status inducement for economic advantage of the families of these diseased “familyist” family member groomers by tax-exemption embezzlements and lower insurance cost by fraud as those giving this “scandal … may even draw his brother into spiritual death” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1994, n.2284.)

    • Who is treating women like chattel? Women themselves are often emotionally attracted to sex to fill an emptiness inside — to be with someone. Too many men take advantage. However, even within marriage, a sexual life wholly focused on pleasure simply becomes a “trading post.” Here “breeding” is not intended, but the bodies are still used. Between contraception and possible abortion(s), many women will soon experience what being treated like chattel really means, especially when they are put out to pasture by disengaged, wandering-eyed men. In the meantime, in abortion, real live persons have been mutilated, killed, and tossed like rubbish. I’ll reserve my empathy for them and the mothers who “get it” but need assistance.

  5. What I find especially disturbing is media footage of these women jumping with glee when these pro-abortion measures pass. Like they have actually accomplished something, rather than having done something amoral and dastardly. I am however, very much afraid that the all or nothing approach the Republicans have generally taken on this issue is destroying our social fabric. Our failure to gain political power means that DEMs are in power, allowing by policy criminal activity like store thefts by flash mobs, sex trafficking, the sale of drugs like fentanyl, a border wide open to terrorists, the horror of which we may yet to reap.Our foreign policy is weak and ineffective, our allies dont trust us and our enemies are advancing closer.WE struggle with homelessness and the negative impact of the Biden economy.Our schools are sexually propagandizing our children , and sexual mutilation of children has become legal. Our government has been weaponized against us. Soon, what is left of our society will collapse. It is because of this ONE issue, abortion, that we fail to gain seats. There are too many women for whom this is their one and ONLY voting issue.The Republicans need to find some way to take back the argument, and yes, sadly, allow some humane exceptions, such as for rape and incest. It is no small thing for me to say this. My two sons were adopted by my husband and me. They would not be alive had not two brave women made the decision to give them life. My question is, why do so many women, most of whom will never have an abortion, believe they need to have access to one? Why dont they behave in a responsible sexual manner instead? Why dont the men who impregnate them take responsibility for THEIR actions? Our society is rotting at the core.We have the moral high ground on the abortion issue but our nation is paying an unsustainable price for it. Unless we can take back power, our society will continue to rot at an even faster pace.

  6. May I add a seventh thing I would say.

    7. The euphemism concoctions (“health care” etc.) coming from abortionists and others are just as bad and worse for you after the abortion as before the abortion and as during the abortion. These ideas are made up in a way for them to stick on you. You have to be sorry for what you did, sorry enough for God.

  7. Talk about hypocrites, the medical oath is to “protect and save lives”. God help these “doctors and nurses” partaking in the exact opposite… Normalizing the killing of an innocent child is man’s greatest fault!!

  8. Im Catholic and a mother of a 4 months old baby, a baby I love more than life itself. I would never have an abortion myself. But people who say “Oh you can just give the baby up for adoption” have really very little understanding of what a pregnancy entails. For a baby to be born a woman has to put her whole body in the line of fire. Pregnancy and childbirth are a risk. And so it is the postpartum period. Im not fond of killing an embryo or a fetus, but forcing a woman to carry them to term feels very very wrong. She is not a human incubator.

    • That doesn’t work. It attempts to remove the mother. She may not herself say “I feel like an incubator therefore it’s okay to kill this baby and a doctor owes me the operation while the rest of you owe him and me sympathy.” Nonsense.

    • Well, I guess then I’ve been a human incubator 8 times.
      🙂
      Life itself is a risk. Every time we get out of bed or get behind the wheel we put ourselves in a line of fire in different ways.
      The direct, intentional, & violent taking of an innocent human life surely merits more reflection than: “I’m not fond of killing…but…” If you look at your own precious baby & understand that they were absolutely no different at that stage of development than the poor children who are destroyed & discarded I think & hope that you’ll feel differently about feticide. Every single life has meaning & infinite value.
      God bless you & your family!

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