Denver, Colo., Mar 24, 2020 / 04:00 am (CNA).- Ian, a 30 year-old living and working in an addiction recovery community in southern Florida, is somewhat used to paradoxical living conditions. Ian has been clean and sober for ten years, and he lives in an area he says is densely populated with recovering addicts. Seven minutes from his house, though, is spring break territory.
Ian finds the contrast puzzling.
“(The surrounding) community is very spring break-esque, but it’s also the largest recovery community in the United States. It’s the largest recovery community for people that are getting sober or staying sober…so it’s just weird because it’s two polar extremes,” he told CNA.
Last week highlighted the differences between the communities even more, as the sober living community observed social distancing and isolation per federal coronavirus guidelines, while hordes of spring-break revelers hit the beach and blithely partied on.
“It’s really polarized at this point,” Ian said. “There are people that are clearly trying to keep their space, and then there’s people that just don’t care.”
‘It’s affected everything’
Spring breakers notwithstanding, the addiction recovery community in Florida and across the United States is scrambling to make group and sponsor meetings as available and effective as possible, while observing federal and state guidelines which dictate that no more than 10 people may gather together, and in some cases, that people cannot leave their homes except for essential supplies and emergencies.
“It’s really affected everything,” Ian said of the coronavirus restrictions.
Ian told CNA he qualifies for membership in multiple 12-step programs, including Heroin Anonymous, but that he has remained the most active in Alcoholics Anonymous.
Despite what people might think about Alcoholics Anonymous meetings based on movies or T.V. shows, Ian said that the primary reason for in-person meetings is not so much therapy as it is to offer a place for newcomers to meet others in recovery and to find a sponsor.
“The idea is that someone who is brand new has a place to go where they can meet someone who’s not brand new, and in that process get involved with the 12 steps,” he said. “It’s the catalyst of all other things, i.e., the newcomer really getting involved with the 12 steps.”
“If you bring them to a group that is really enthusiastic…they get almost attacked by people that are trying to help people. And so before you even know it, you’ve got a sponsor,” and a community, or at least the prospect of onem he added.
Involvement in Alcoholics Anonymous varies from person to person, but typically, a member of AA attends meetings at least once a week (often more frequently), and has regular meetings with a sponsor, who is usually a member with more years in recovery offering guidance through the 12 steps of recovery.
While coronavirus restrictions have put a damper on in-person interactions, Ian said he and his friends anticipated that lockdowns and quarantines were possible in the face of coronavirus, and they worked to put together Zoom online conference meetings, as well as a master spreadsheet of anyone available to sponsor new people.
“We’re going to be actually sending this to every local halfway house and treatment center and saying, ‘Hey, if you have new people that need sponsors, all of these people are willing to take as many as possible until it becomes unbearable,’” he said.
Back to the roots
“Father C”, a priest in Pennsylvania who is in recovery from alcohol addiction, spoke to CNA on the condition of anonymity. He said that in some ways, remote ways of connecting people in recovery to one another are a throwback to the early days of Alcoholics Anonymous, when the organization, founded in 1935, reached new people primarily by telephone.
“Groups only got organized because one alcoholic reached out to another and shared the message of his own recovery through the practice and the steps,” “Father C” told CNA.
Before they had texting or other digital ways of organizing meetings, “two people meeting together…even on the telephone, was a meeting to them,” he said.
Only after the telephone became more common in American homes, and the word about Alcoholics Anonymous got out, were organizers able to establish bigger group meetings.
Dave, a Catholic father of six in recovery in Maryland, said that mail was also used in the early days of AA.
“So the history is that Bill Wilson got sober in New York and Dr. Bob Smith got sober in Akron, Ohio. And Bill was in Ohio at the time when they started; Bill got Bob sober. And then they hung out and they would go to these Oxford Group meetings. Oxford Group is a Protestant group that had some of the basic tenants of AA,” he said.
“When Alcoholics Anonymous started, it was mainly these disparate groups of people that would exchange letters before there were meetings everywhere. So it’s a little bit of how things were in the beginning, but just with a 21st century spin on it,” he added.
More isolation, but more ways to connect
Joelle is a wife and mother in her 50s in Fresno, California who has been in recovery through AA for 10 years. She serves as an event planner for AA (though, all upcoming events have been canceled).
The move to virtual meetings means that newcomers will have to be especially proactive about reaching out for help, Joelle told CNA.
“We have a principle, a little refrain, that we say. It’s: ‘When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, we want the hand of AA to always be there. And for that I am responsible.’ Well, in this time, (newcomers) really are going to have to reach out. They’re going to have to find us,” Joelle added.
“Because usually somebody drops into a meeting and they don’t leave that meeting without some phone numbers and exchanging numbers so that they don’t get lost in AA. But, obviously that’s not possible right now.”
The “big saving grace” at the moment has been videoconferencing, Joelle said. The groups with which she’s involved have set up online conference meetings via Zoom, and put the word out via Facebook and word of mouth about the change. So far, attendance has been high.
“One of the meetings I go to is an every-morning-meeting, every day of the week, at 6:30 a.m. And a lot of the people who come to that meeting, they’re kind of hit-and-miss because some days they need to be at work at 7:30 and coming to a 6:30 meeting doesn’t make sense. But now that we’re on Zoom, all of them are coming,” she said.
They’re also picking up people from other groups who have not yet organized virtual meetings, she said.
“So our meeting is bigger and more vital than ever. I also think the stressful situation makes people want more AA meetings.”
Joelle said she sees this time as “kind of a mixed bag.”
One the one hand, she said, social isolation can be really bad for addicts. She predicts that a lot of people will discover during their time of social isolation that they are alcoholics or drug addicts.
“There’s going to be people who figure out they’re alcoholic during this time because being trapped at home, instead of busy with work and activities, heavy drinkers are very likely going to figure out that there’s an issue there,” she said. “But how are they going to get ahold of us?”
Because 12-step groups typically happen locally, Joelle said she would encourage those looking for a meeting to do an internet search with the name of their city plus “AA meetings,” or whichever recovery group they need.
“You’re going to find all kinds of meetings,” she said. She encouraged newcomers and those long in recovery to take advantage of extra time at home to connect to even more virtual meetings than they might normally be able to attend in person.
“I would say we need more connection, not less, when there’s stress,” Joelle said. “So home isolation is really rough for an alcoholic. But being able to attend more meetings because you’re sitting at home and so you don’t have conflict…in some ways it’s more convenient for people now. In other ways, you’re still sitting at home by yourself.”
Joelle said she thinks this time might pave the way for more virtual meetings in the future for AA, even after the threat of coronavirus has passed.
“AA already has conference call meetings, which I know is kind of old-fashioned, dial-in meetings…but from my perspective, there’s plenty of times when you would want to have someone able to Zoom in, because maybe they’ve got cancer and they’re in chemo, and so they’re stuck at home, they can’t come. I really believe this will be the wave of the future in terms of giving people more options.”
The steps at a social distance
While being able to host online meetings has been convenient in many ways, Ian said he still had many concerns about people in recovery programs, particularly those who are in early recovery.
Often, those in early recovery will take part-time jobs as restaurant servers or cashiers so they can focus on their recovery, Ian said, but a “huge influx” of people are losing such jobs in his community, he said.
“We’re just having a lot of people not only not have an income, but also not be able to participate both in meetings and fellowship, which is as, if not equally, important as meeting attendance,” he said. Fellowship typically involves 40-50 people or so going out for dinner or just hanging out together after meetings. Get-togethers of that size are now banned throughout the country.
Ian said he is also concerned about newcomers who were working the steps for the first time, because, somewhat like the sacraments of the Catholic Church, there is something particularly effective about completing those steps in person.
For example, he said, the fourth step of AA, which is to make “a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves,” is typically undertaken in person, with one’s sponsor. It is similar to the sacrament of confession, where sins are stated to a priest in person.
“There’s something about doing that face to face with someone and seeing someone’s face not judging you,” he said. “Like someone looking at you and being like, ‘He doesn’t think I’m a scumbag or a loser.’”
“When you remove that facial component, even through FaceTime, you’ve obviously diminished the effectiveness or efficacy of that step,” he said. “So there’s all these other underlying limitations that we’re going to tease out over the next few weeks or months potentially.”
Staying close to God when Masses are canceled
Another component of recovery that will be challenging for Catholics at this time will be remaining close to God when all public Masses and other liturgical celebrations have been canceled throughout the United States.
Connecting with a higher power is crucial for all 12-step recovery programs, but doing so can be hard for Catholics who can’t attend Mass or go to confession regularly due to coronavirus restrictions.
Christine N., a Catholic in recovery in Annapolis, Maryland, said she was “devastated” when Masses were canceled, because she had recently been trying to attend daily Mass as well as Sunday Mass. Now, she said, she’s been watching her local parish’s livestream of morning Mass, and she said she might watch Bishop Robert Barron’s streamed Masses as well.
She encouraged fellow alcoholics and others in recovery to stay the course and to trust God.
“I, and all Catholics, need to continue to pray and have faith that God will never abandon us and that he is with us,” she said. “Believe that, and we’ll get through it. But it definitely feels like a test.”
Dave said that he and his family are part of a movement, started in France, called Teams of Our Lady, which are small faith groups that meet monthly for a shared meal and fellowship, and they also have a rule of life by which they try to live. Their group just had their first online meeting yesterday.
Dave said he encourages Catholics to find virtual ways to connect and share about their faith with other Catholics or Christians.
“I think we have to be willing to share more openly with other people of our faith of what’s going on, share the difficulties, and connect (with each other),” he said, adding that he had also heard of stay-at-home virtual retreats being put on by some priests in Maryland.
Joelle said that for the past few weeks, she has been saying a daily rosary and a morning meditation and turning to prayer more often throughout the day. She encouraged Catholics to “stay out of fear” and to look for ways that God is calling them to be of service every day.
“I am constantly looking for the role that God is assigning me right now,” she said.
“I want to focus on the present and especially on being in service in the present…for me it means using my cooking skills and time to get meals to people who are shut in, especially to people over 65 or who otherwise have health concerns. To be able to take them a meal and leave it on their doorstep and make sure they’re okay, and go grocery shopping for them so they aren’t exposed. Those are things that help Catholics and they help alcoholics too.”
“Father C” said he thinks it is fitting that Catholics are all experiencing a great spiritual hunger for the sacraments during Lent. He said his advice for Catholics in recovery is similar to his advice for other addicts in recovery: “Keep coming back.”
“Stay close, be involved, do service even in the smallest things,” he said. “Think of one another and pray for one another. Even with the social distance, there needn’t be spiritual distance.”
“If God will make the greatest good come forth on the greatest evil, the death of the Son, well, would not God be able and willing to make good come out of this, even those lives that end up being lost to it?” he added.
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What stuns me is how deeply and swiftly into a loss of a common sense the world is falling. Shouldn’t it be self-evident that, if a child’s normal puberty (hormonal production) is being blocked his fertility (and not only fertility) will suffer long term?
It appears to me that many modern people see their bodies as some plastic dolls – inject into that plastic shape some meds, shake it well and later, if it does not work, we can just pour out, rinse and be fine and try something else. The same attitude pervades those who happily go for plastic surgeries, I think. There is no normal apprehension “what if it will go wrong” before doing something drastic with one’s own body or the body of one’s own child. This, by the way, is sharply at odds with “a nature = Gaya worshiping”.
Puberty blockers and hormonal meds affect not only physical but psychological health as well. They can cause a wide spectrum of reactions, from severe depression and anxiety to psychotic elation. However, those “doctors” who usher them on the trans-road somehow do make a connection between the meds they already prescribed and the worsened mental symptoms, up to suicidal ideation. “Look how depressed you are” they say to a child/teen, “do not worry, take those meds and you will feel far better after we get your breasts/penis cut off”.
Anyone who thinks you can ply a human being with all kinds of hormones (even those that are contraceptives) – especially during the developmental years – and not cause damage to the organism are either certifiably insane, irreversibly stupid or evil (some win the trifecta). I also place in the same category those lemmings who take experimental and untested vaccines because the government tells them they should (and also shields the pharmaceutical companies that makes them from product liability lawsuits.)
Were you vaccinated? Do you also deny the validity of all other vaccines against diseases? If bit by a rabid animal would you refuse treatment? Do you really believe that the multiple attempts to find a way of preventing COVID around the entire globe was an evil conspiracy concocted by a much corrupted medical profession. Perhaps COVID was created and intentionally released by evil people for unknown reasons; but to believe that the attempt to treat the disease and prevent multiple deaths is evil makes no sense at all. Yes, it’s highly likely that some people took advantage of this situation for selfish and or evil purposes ( this is to be expected of our fallen human state ); but that does not negate the good intentions or motivations of those who produced the vaccines. It may be true that the vaccines were ineffective or even harmful, but we do not really know that and surely did not know it at the time . The epidemic was so sudden and unexpected and the nature of the virus so unknown, that there was not time to subject create and test possible treatments the way we usually do. Time was of essence and risks had to be taken. It’s easy for an armchair Monday morning quarterback to make judgements on a play; but it’s much a different situation for the quarterback himself in pocket in the heat of the game with sore muscles and dirty sweat in his eyes. He throws his best ball in spite of it all. No one can really judge him, because they were not him in his shoes. The same can be said for the whole COVID scenario. Let’s give thanks for the many good people who tried their best to save lives. Let’s at least give them the benefit of doubt. My dear Deacon, we may disagree and still be brothers in Christ. May God bless your ministry , you are in my prayers.
Mr. Connor, I don’t see anything in Deacon Edward’s comments that suggest a rejection of all vaccines. Many people are concerned about the side effects of pharmaceuticals & especially those created in a hurry.
I really don’t think we’ll have all the answers about Covid for years. And considering it’s possible source, perhaps never.
I was a child myself once (I’m pretty certain all of us were). So was my brother. I remember that by the time we reached school age, both of us were very self-conscious about allowing even our parents to “see us” unclothed! I remember not using the school bathroom all day because there were no doors on the stall (what insanity prompted that policy?!). Both my brother and I were terrified of doctors and nurses who poked and prodded us during examinations–I remember screaming while a doctor examined me. What horrors must these children be experiencing while they are being “examined” and questioned? How does a child feel when a “professional” who has just poked and prodded their bodies announces, with a gentle smile, that the child “feels bad” because they are in the wrong body? Does that make them feel “better?!” Really?! Do they really think, “Thank goodness, this kind doctor has figured out how to help me feel happy again!” Do they even understand the differences between boys and girls at these young ages? How horrible for a child to wake up with sore/painful incision wounds on their private parts–these wounds will require daily wound care!–surely it is an awful experience for these children to have a parent or health care professional touching their body parts that they were always told by parents and teachers are “private!” The mental and psychological trauma caused by these surgeries surely causes any depression and/or anxiety to worsen! And in the meantime, is anyone trying to figure out alternative reasons why a child might feel “sad” all the time? Perhaps it’s because a pet died, or a cherished relative or friend, or perhaps they are anxious because they are watching a scary TV show that their parents are laughing at but that the child is afraid of? Or maybe they are being bullied, not because of their sex, but because bullies are MEAN and often, no teacher is allowed (or has the courage) to confront a bully and put a firm STOP to their violent taunts, threats, and physical attacks. Maybe the child has stomachaches or headaches because of a physical issue–e.g., food intolerance or over/under eating, or maybe the child needs glasses.
What medical professionals are violating their “do no harm” oath when it comes to treating supposedly “trans” children? They should be stripped of their licenses and forbidden to ever be around minor children or teenagers again.
The medical and legal establishment is now monetizing surgical experiments on human beings.
Eighty years ago we fought against fanatics who committed such human experiments, and we put them on trial for crimes against humanity, and hung them for committing these crimes.
I don’t foresee hanging but I do expect to see litigation.
Yes, it is the gist. But in the Nazi concentration camps the victims were unwilling. Now they are willing and it means that humanity hugely advance on its path to a total and “soft” mind control. Imagine some Gypsy woman willing coming to Ravensbrück (women concentration camp) and requesting that she and her daughter will be sterilized. This is exactly what is happening.
There are some cancers that are hormone based. To keep another tumor from happening the patient is given hormone blockers.
Catch 22. Depending on the hormone the patient must have a procedure to rebuild the bone; or else the patient will have osteoporosis.
The big difference is most people who develop a hormone cancer are adults. They are past childbearing years.
Teenagers are to become parents. What are these blockers and replacement procedures doing to all of the organs? When a 30 year old wants to marry and have children but discovers they are sterile. Will they figure out this is a delayed side effect from the trans drugs.
The advent of the contraceptive pill and its acceptance in medical practice represented a fundamental abandonment by the medical profession of the Hippocratic Oath. It was the first time that the profession allowed the deliberate prescription of a substance designed to interfere with normal physiology and function. Early varieties of oral contraceptives caused unexpected complications, most notably venous thrombosis complicated by pulmonary embolism and death. Rather than banning such prescribing, modifications to dosage were tried and tested for no reason other than to allow big pharma the ability to continue making obscene profits – not to care for the needs of women. The outrageous use of gender altering medication and risky surgery to alter the external appearances of normal gender development is in the same category, contrary to the ideals of Hippocratic medicine which sadly continue to be eroded. Worse, of course, is the cooperation of the law, once the great protector of human life in all its forms, in aiding and abetting these abominations through legislation. And where was this abandonment of the ideals of medicine born? In the USA!! God love America – with hands on heart, of course. The Mayo clinic data screams out “Abandon this abomination and affirm its criminality through laws that punish it rather than, as happened with the contraceptive pill, approve, aid and abet it.
Amen! Let’s not forget, however, that one of the biggest cheerleaders for this trans-mania is our devoutly Catholic president, Joe Biden, according to whose word — and how could anyone doubt that? — the pope himself called “a good Catholic” who should continue receiving Communion.
Thank you in advance min.
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