As a newlywed, Julia Ibarra was more than a little nervous about using Natural Family Planning. She had grown up non-Catholic, with the assumption that the Pill would be part of her married life. Stepping away from that place felt insecure and raised a host of questions for her.
Increasing her anxiety, there seemed to be remarkably few resources for newly married couples to learn about NFP. The sparse page of information the couple was given in a Catholic marriage prep course sparked Ibarra’s curiosity but offered little else.
Ibarra’s challenging journey with NFP inspired her to found Magenta. Named after the birthplace of pro-life heroine St. Gianna Molla, Magenta aims to make NFP attractive, accessible and understandable; to be a means for women to learn about and embrace their fertility.
Its website, MagentaYou.com, is a brilliantly simple—and very approachable—introduction to all things NFP.
This week is Natural Family Planning Awareness week (July 23-29), launched by the USCCB to honor the anniversary of Humanae Vitae on July 25. CWR spoke with the Magenta founder—a Catholic convert and mom of seven—about her path to embracing the Church’s teaching on contraception, the blessings of NFP, and what Magenta hopes to accomplish.
CWR: What made you decide to use NFP?
Julia Ibarra: After getting engaged, my husband and I attended a marriage prep weekend retreat. A small talk introduced the topic of Natural Family Planning, and someone said it was really great for your marriage. That made me think, “This is something worth investigating.”
At the end of the brief talk we were given a one page piece of paper that briefly described NFP. It had no resources or contact information as to how to learn more.
Soon after we were married, my husband began looking into NFP methods. I had a lot of hesitation and was afraid of getting pregnant. I was not a Catholic at the time and didn’t understand the Church’s teaching regarding contraception, other than that it was against it. My husband shared with me his concerns about using contraception and together we agreed to use NFP.
CWR: Tell me about your personal journey with NFP. I know that you had difficulties finding resources and help. Ultimately, how did you figure it all out?
Julia Ibarra: My husband and I were married only three months before he was due to deploy. So after we were married we quickly tried to figure out NFP. We found a class nearby, but my husband’s schedule made it impossible for him to attend all the classes with me, and the instructor would not make an exception. We decided to do a home study program, but had no success.
We soon had our first baby. I wanted our baby and was excited about her. During a postpartum doctor’s visit, I was asked what type of birth control I wanted to use, and I said I would be using NFP. The doctor laughed at me.
Pregnancy was difficult for me, but I loved my babies, and within a few years we had four children. We decided again to try to learn to use NFP—this time to pace my pregnancies. I learned a method and had some success, but one time I made an assumption that I was in my infertile period and God gifted us with our fifth child. I felt like a failure with this method, too.
After my fifth baby, feeling overwhelmed, I decided that I needed to be on birth control. By this time, I had converted to Catholicism and knew it was against the Church’s teachings. Nonetheless, I consulted a priest who said it was okay for me to use birth control due to the fact that I had a medical condition. My mind was set. I told my husband that I needed to be on birth control.
Thankfully, he said no.
I then called a trusted friend. She talked to me about Humanae Vitae and Pope John Paul II’s theology of the body. She gave me Kimberly Hahn’s book, Life Giving Love: Embracing God’s Beautiful Design for Marriage, and reassured me I didn’t need contraception.
Once again, I tried to find a local NFP teacher, but there were no classes near the small town where we lived at the time.
Finally, I called a doctor who had been recommended to me. She was far away in San Diego, but I prayed she could help me somehow. One of her staff members dedicated an hour to talking with me. She told me she had eight children, that each was a blessing and she wouldn’t give any of them back. She said she understood that having a lot of small children was difficult at times, but reminded me that things would get easier as the children got older.
Amazingly, she was the first person who had ever told me that having a large family was a gift.
Finally, she gave me the name and phone number of a woman who was willing to teach us an NFP method over Skype. That was life changing. I was able to learn the new method and I began to understand my fertility successfully. I had a new perspective on my fertility and children. If I got pregnant again, I knew it would it would be a gift from God rather than my failing at NFP. My husband and I were blessed with two more children and I’m grateful for them every day.
CWR: How did NFP impact your marriage? Was it good for you, as a couple?
Julia Ibarra: NFP positively impacted my marriage in many ways. It increased our closeness and created a strong bond between me and my husband. By using NFP, we were both giving our entire selves unselfishly to each other.
CWR: You say that you were terrified of getting pregnant when you decided to go off the Pill and start using NFP. How did you deal with that fear?
Julia Ibarra: At the age of 15 I was diagnosed with narcolepsy, a condition which is treated with Class C medication. I was 25 when I got married and I had never gone a day without my medication. I wasn’t Catholic and I was on the Pill. I was very much aware that by practicing NFP there was a chance I could get pregnant and I knew that as soon as I got pregnant I would have to get off my medication. I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to function without it.
My husband was very understanding of my feelings. However, he expressed his concern about the added health risks from using the Pill and didn’t want me on it. His concern made me think for the first time about the possible damage I had done to my body by being on the Pill. Together we made the decision to learn NFP, and although I was scared, I knew that we were in this together.
CWR: How did getting off the Pill affect you personally?
Julia Ibarra: Getting off the Pill was easy and I really felt happier and healthier without it. Overall, I had a more positive outlook in life as I realized I didn’t have to contracept to understand my fertility.
In addition, NFP really impacted me spirituality, and I believe that it played a large part in my conversion to Catholicism. It changed my understanding of my body and my fertility and made me more faithful. It made me realize my life is the outcome of surrendering my will to God’s will.
CWR: Were there any stresses related to it or was it all good?
I would be less than honest if I didn’t admit there were stresses. My husband’s career in the military and his deployments didn’t always coincide with God’s plan. Our third child was born while he was deployed and a couple times I was pregnant during a deployment. It was difficult being pregnant and nursing while trying to use NFP. Unfortunately many times while using NFP, I felt stupid because I couldn’t figure out when I was ovulating and I felt like it was all my fault I kept getting pregnant.
Nonetheless, I realize how blessed I am to have the family that I have. I am grateful for every one of my children and as they are growing up into adults I am amazed at the people they are becoming.
CWR: How would you respond to someone who said “You use NFP? But you have seven kids!”
Julia Ibarra: In deciding to use NFP, you have to be open to the possibility getting pregnant. NFP provided us with the freedom of knowing our lives are the result of God’s plan for us. By surrendering control of my fertility through the use of NFP, I allowed God’s plan to be fulfilled. Why do I have so many children? Because this is what God willed for me, and God’s will was done.
CWR: From your personal experience, what is the greatest blessing of NFP?
There are so many blessings that come from NFP, but I think the greatest blessing is the unification that results in your marriage. Together you become one in mind, body, and soul. You are able to understand each other better and a trust is built between the two of you, because you’re both giving 100% of yourself. When you have a good relationship with your spouse, everything is better. It provides a solid foundation.
In fact, one NFP method boasts that the couples who learn and practice that method only have a 5% divorce rate. That’s amazing, considering that the average Catholic divorce rate in America is 50%. Are these couples gifted with perfect marriages? No, of course not. Through the practice of NFP, they have been given an understanding of a sacrificial love that is unselfish at all levels. When hard times come, that foundation of faith, trust, and love creates the fortitude to persevere.
CWR: Who are you trying to reach with Magenta? It seems to me that the target audience for your website is broader than simply the Catholic woman who is trying to live her faith.
Julia Ibarra: Magenta wants all women to take a healthier, natural and happier approach to understanding their fertility. Magenta provides a directory for women to research all of the apps, devices and methods that are currently on the market, in order to understand their fertility in a natural way.
There are many women on contraception who just don’t know that there are other ways to understand their cycle. And there are a lot of Catholic women still using contraception even though the church is against it. Why? We often talk about NFP like everyone knows what it is, but do they?
Women need straightforward answers to questions like “What are the different methods of NFP?” “If I have an irregular cycle will this method work for me?” Or, “Why am I having multiple miscarriages—is this really normal, like my OBGYN says?” “Where can I find a list of Catholic doctors who won’t keep pressuring me to get on contraception?” Finding this information doesn’t have to be difficult. MagentaYou.com exists to make it easy to get answers to these questions.
CWR: A follow up to that: Why reach out to women who might not be Catholic and might not have any idea what Humanae Vitae is?
Julia Ibarra: When women take a natural approach to their fertility, it allows them to understand the natural intent their bodies were created with. That natural approach allows a woman to gain a holistic and organic understanding of her fertility, how her hormones are created to make her more desirable, and how her cycle is truly a part of her natural existence. Freed from artificial birth control, women become aware of the natural feelings within their bodies that signal whether they are fertile or not. I believe that if a woman is able to learn about her body, she will be empowered to take responsibility for her actions instead of surrendering to artificial devices. If she unintentionally gets pregnant, she will be less likely to consider abortion as an option because she has already taken responsibility for any pregnancies as a natural outcome, whereas contracepting women often see abortion as a correction to their failed attempt at contraception.
CWR: What makes Magenta different from other organizations that promote NFP?
Julia Ibarra: Magenta is different from other NFP sites because it serves as a directory for information. It doesn’t tell anyone what method to choose. It doesn’t ask for personal information. It doesn’t frown upon devices or apps. We realize that all women are different and what works for one might not work for another.
The website also includes a page on NaPro Technology. NaPro [Natural Procreative Technology] is incredibly helpful for women seeking pregnancy, and even among Catholics, is not well known.
The website can be quickly accessed through a QR code that immediately provides women with a wide range of resources to research. Basically, it puts how to plan your fertility naturally in the palm of your hand.
CWR: Tell me about your goals for Magenta.
Julia Ibarra: My goal is to have our Magenta postcard in the restroom of every Catholic church in America. Magenta just wants to get NFP information into the hands of women. It’s a small step towards changing the toxic environment that contraception has created in women’s faith, health and fertility.
At the beginning of this mission, I thought “If we could just get 1% of Catholics off contraception through our website, we’ll be a success.” Then one of my friends said to me, “Julia, if just one person stops contracepting and uses NFP, this has been a success.”
CWR: What has been the greatest challenge you’ve faced in founding this organization?
Julia Ibarra: Catholic parishes, even if they are vocally pro-life, often forget to mention that our faith is against contraception. And I have found that NFP is not a topic that people like to discuss. There are a small number of people who are passionate about it, but most people want to steer clear of it, including, at times, myself. It feels taboo to mention NFP unless it is in a very private setting, whether because it is awkward to discuss the topic, or because we don’t want to involve ourselves in others’ life decisions. Either way, it has been hard to find others who want to help me spread the word.
Magenta is a grassroots effort by women to reach other women with the message of NFP. Leaving Magenta information in church restrooms, for example, gets around that awkwardness. It’s a reminder to other women that our faith promotes Natural Family Planning, and an opportunity to discreetly explore the resources available.
We’re trying to help women make better choices about their fertility and their health. I believe that the website can ignite a flicker of curiosity that may bloom into a life changing result and a closer walk with God.
CWR: Anything else? When you described your struggles to me, it certainly sounded to me like the devil does not want Magenta to be successful!
Julia Ibarra: Often, the devil tries to distract me from the project. Everything I do takes me a lot of effort to get done and after I do it, it seems like there is always a problem: with the printer, technical issues with the website, you name it.
The issues we had when we tried to put Magenta information in the restrooms at our local parish are a perfect example! We ordered magnets for the restroom stall doors, only to discover the doors had been swapped out for doors that were nonmetal. So we tried again, this time with adhesive tabs for the information cards.
That Sunday, while I was posting the signs on the doors of the bathroom stalls, all three church toilets overflowed, causing the bathroom to be shut for almost 24 hours!
The devil is fighting hard for the destruction of the family. He doesn’t want couples to learn NFP. I have been able to see these setbacks as signs that this truly is God’s mission, not mine. I firmly believe that the future failure or success of Magenta is all in Our Lord’s hands.
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I find it ironic that it is the laity who are teaching the Gospel of Life to other Catholics. You won’t find a single deacon, priest or bishop proclaiming openly in public the Church’s teaching on contraception (I hope I’m wrong and, if so, please name for me the ones who do. But there is the risk that, if named, this Vatican will censure them).
Secondly, Mrs. Ibarra thinks she has already experienced the blessings of bearing seven children. My message to her and her husband: wait until your 60’s, 70’s or 80’s because it’s then that you will realize that “your children are like olive branches on your table.” It is less likely that generous, self-sacrificing parents will raise selfish, egotistical, narcissistic snot-nose kids.
I just wrote an article on the topic for The Catholic Thing yesterday. So, there’s at least ONE priest saying something about it.
That’s creditable, Father. But I was specifically referring to proclaiming this teaching from the ambo…on Sundays preferably.
I think in today’s culture it is more effective for a deacon to preach it than a priest. I have but only a few times in 17 years. I completely support my deacons and my assistant priests when I have them to preach on this topic.
Understandable, Father. I commend you for supporting deacons when they preach the fullness of the faith. Some pastors are notorious for their lack of support of their deacons. That said, I have known pastors who view the deacon as sharers in ministering to God’s people.
Your essay is beautiful Fr. Stravinskas, wherever you’d deliver it. Speaking as a layman. Thank you. I do not mean only a subjective sentiment or appreciation but that it does justice to God and it bears aloft in the incense as it were.
Befitting priesthood. Don’t mean to lecture. May God strengthen you in your love of Him.
https://www.thecatholicthing.org/2023/07/25/humanae-vitae-at-55/
Isn’t Theology of the Body a compilation of Angelus presentations from John Paul II? And other Popes have taught into this subject besides only confronting contraception.
And given the teachings arising from the Pontiffs the instructing devolves unto the priests.
The ministers of the marriage are the spouses and they would want to hear about it from Christ surely -Who bears it for them.
Thus the same problem arising with married priesthood comes in with married deacons even though the latter has legitimacy. And -proving the former doesn’t.
Moreover this penetrates a more again into the mystery of the celibacy of priesthood as formative discipline AND ALSO as transcending mystery. Reminding us that discipline is essential but not completing.
Our pastor has talked about contraception in his homilies. But I guess I should be cautious & not put his name out there. We do live in strange times.
mrscracker, isn’t it sad that a minister of the Gospel speaks the truth as proclaimed by the Catholic Church and as a result must fear retribution from the likes of bishops?
Yes, terribly sad.
Sometimes it looks like we are in the church of Cain.
I learned about it on my own. It never came up in RCIA or marriage prep. I learned of NFP from the Hahns’ cassette tapes on Church teaching about contraception. (Those I sent away for after getting some junk mail regarding some Catholic publishing house.) I learned NFP by reading the Third Art of Natural Family Planning. (A local secular bookstore ordered it for me–that was about 1995). We tended to use the calendar method though, throwing in some fertility signs I learned in the 3rd Art and then the 4th Art.
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There was ZERO support for this in my diocese. On very rare occasion, a priest who was invited to be part of the local Rosary Triduum would say something, but that was fairly rare.
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Recently I’ve heard YouTubers (Brett Weinstein/Health Heying/MIke Mutzel) discussing the problems with the Pill, other hormonal birth control. They are not Catholic (and are okay with contraception as a concept), but at least they are concerned about the impact of these hormones on the woman, and how that may impact the chances for a successful marriage, her health, and the environment.
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The title says it all.
Thank you for this article. I am 72 and when I was young my husband and I tried different methods of birth control other than the pill. My husband wanted only two children. I went along with his wish. After our second child was born he had a visectomy. I have been sorry ever since that decision. There are many reasons. I was not a practicing Catholic at that time. I returned to my Catholic faith in 1998 at age 47. I know I have been forgiven yet my heart aches because of my choice of only two children. Not trusting God’s plan for us. We are still married yet I resent listening to my husband and doing his will. There is a sadness in me. I had abandon my religion and faith for a marriage. Long story about our situation. I need to forgive myself. Hopefully young women and men will learn and follow NFP. God bless all young families chose God’s will.
Mary, I am torn by the Church’s strict use of NFP as the only accepted “birth control” method. After having two healthy boys my now deceased wife, (at 42), was warned by our doctor, after the birth of baby 2, not have another child or she could die. In the 60s we knew little of NFP. When we attended Per-Cana there was no mention of using NFP for birth control. I read about NFP. There were many pros and cons. Because of Carolyn’s health we not able to use the menstrual cycle to determine fertility. Later, after I had a reversable vasectomy, Much more to say, but I can tell you I happily remarried at 60 and have no issues.
Mary, you keep your chin up! You did what you thought was right and reasonable at the time. Now, you know better in hindsight. You’ve been forgiven, now God expects you to forgive yourself. Donate your time to any grandchildren you might have or “adopt” some youngsters in your church or neighborhood. God has a plan for each of us, and His plan for you was to return to the faith and live it.
Blessings to you.
I was a having a conversation with an older gentleman recently that I believe is Catholic or at least was raised that way. We were talking about children & he casually mentioned that “the Pill” hadn’t agreed with his wife, it gave her migraines. She’d had 3 babies in a short time & that had been enough for her. I don’t know what method they used to avoid additional children, but I doubt it was NFP.
He knows I have 8 children, am a devout Catholic, etc. but I guess like many other Catholics he supposed contraception’s so widely accepted nowadays that he could feel comfortable sharing that info with me. What a shame.
🙁
And I’d bet that you wouldn’t change places with him for all the tea in China.
Me, Deacon Edward?
Yes. You’re right. Every child and every grandchild is such a blessing. Our family is all we can hope to take with us to Heaven.
Thanks for this. Like the website.
For more basic help and info, see:
https://naturalwomanhood.org/
For medical info types:
https://www.factsaboutfertility.org/
“It’s a reminder to other women that our faith promotes Natural Family Planning, and an opportunity to discreetly explore the resources available.”
No faith promotes childlessness. NFP is a very prudential matter. It can be wrong to use it. My guess is that I discovered this in the book “The Sins of Parents.”
“Catholic parishes, even if they are vocally pro-life, often forget to mention that our faith is against contraception.”
This is a major problem. I suspect that those who identify as Catholics have never been taught about something so important. It is the duty of bishops and priests to make sure that people know what the Church teaches concerning morality.
I have a brother who went to “Catholic” grade school. He is now a Protestant. He recently emailed asking for prayers concerning the success of his IVF implantation. He likely was never taught that IVF is immoral.
Even Protestants knew that contraception was wrong. Some still know this.
One of the benefits that often gets forgotten is that NFP can be used to conceive. We used NFP happily half heartedly until I had multiple miscarriages. Our NFP instructor had tips to help conceive and carry to term. Now I’m the happy mother of five and would have five more in a heartbeat.