Denver, Colo., May 18, 2018 / 05:00 am (CNA/EWTN News).- It was a quiet Thanksgiving for Kerry.
She and her husband had just retired from the military, and they were home in Colorado Springs with Kerry’s mother-in-law, whom they were taking care of at the time. But the house, with two extra, empty bedrooms upstairs, felt just a little too quiet.
Kerry had no children of her own, but it was around that time that she felt God calling her to foster parenting.
“I just saw this article in the paper for a foster agency and it really spoke to me and I said ‘Ok God this is what you want me to do? Because I’m a little bit old for this.’ But…I felt I was just really made to do this and God said, you can do this!”
It’s something that many Catholic foster parents have in common – the feeling that God called them to open their homes and hearts to foster parenting.
Kerry and her husband began fostering through a local Christian agency called Hope and Home, and after meeting the licensing requirements, embarked on a six-year foster care journey, in which they fostered a total of 10 kids, adopted two, and provided respite care for several other “kiddos,” as Kerry affectionately calls them.
“Foster care is a learning experience, and is probably the hardest yet most rewarding thing I’ve ever done,” Kerry told CNA.
For foster care awareness month, CNA spoke with four Catholic foster parents about their stories, and the faith that inspired them along the way. Only first names have been used to protect the children who have been or are still in their care.
“The greatest of our foster-heartbreaks has become my life’s work” – Kerry, Colorado Springs
Kerry’s family learned a lot, the hard way, from their first foster care placement, a two-year-old named Alex.
“It was hard, as Alex had suffered abuse and neglect and was terrified of all things to do with bedtimes,” Kerry said. “We spent the first week sitting outside the door of his bedroom, because he was terrified to have us in there and yet terrified to be alone.”
About seven months after Alex had been placed in their care, he was returned back to his biological father. Kerry strongly objected to that plan, telling their caseworker that she believed the father was not ready to take his son back.
Kerry’s objections were overruled, and Alex went home with his biological dad. Nine months later, Kerry learned that Alex had died of severe head trauma while in the care of his dad’s girlfriend. It was because of Alex that she began to research and advocate for the prevention of child abuse.
“The greatest of our foster-heartbreaks has become my life’s work,” Kerry said. “I am part of our county’s Not One More Child Coalition, the secretary for our local Safe Kids Colorado chapter, and the Chair of the Child Abuse Prevention Committee for our local chapter of the Exchange Club,” she said.
“We are also working to establish a child abuse prevention nonprofit called Kyndra’s Hope – named for another local foster girl who actually entered foster care in hospice, as she was not expected to live due to the severe physical abuse by her biological parents. Thanks to the prayers of her adopted mom, Kyndra is now a lively 10-year-old who, despite her disabilities, has beaten the odds.”
Kerry has adopted two of the 10 of her foster children, and provided respite care for numerous others.
Kerry said she felt relief and belonging in her local Catholic parish, because several other families have adopted children and blended families, “so to just go and sit and be a normal family with all the other people there was just really wonderful some days,” she said.
One of the main patron saints she leaned on as a foster parent was St. Jude, the patron saint of lost causes.
“I was always praying to him for myself and for my kiddos who were really lost, just to help us all find ourselves,” she said.
“What do my pro-life duties entail?” – Scott; Lincoln, Nebraska
Scott and his wife were newlywed “classic, orthodox Catholics” living in Lincoln, Nebraska. While they had no known medical issues, they tried for six years to get pregnant, but it just wasn’t happening.
After mourning the loss possible biological children, the couple began to talk about adoption. While the idea of foster care surfaced at the time, “It scared us a little bit,” Scott told CNA.
They knew that many of the children they would encounter would come from difficult situations, and as first-time parents, they weren’t sure they would be able to handle that.
They adopted a son, Anthony, but they still felt the desire for more children. When they considered a second adoption, they were encouraged to look more seriously into foster care.
They took the foster parent preparation class, but still felt some hesitation, and so they “kicked the can down the road” a little longer. But something happened at their city’s annual Walk for Life that stayed with Scott.
“We go to the Walk for Life every year, and there’s a lady there every year, she had this sign and it basically said ‘Foster, adopt or shut up.’ That was what she was saying as a counter-protest to a pro-life group,” Scott recalled.
“It’s something that stuck with me because I thought you know, what do my pro-life duties entail?”
Soon after, he and his wife felt called by God to open up their home to foster children. They told the agency, thinking they would wait another year or two before getting a placement.
Ten days later, a little two-year-old named Jonathan came to stay with them. Even though he was young, the family has had to work with him on some deep-seated anger issues and speech delay problems.
“This is really pro-life,” Scott said of foster care and adoption.
“This birth mom chose life, but she can’t raise this child, and so my wife and I are going to take the ball and we’re going to do the hard work and we’re going to get through this.”
“I really feel like God called us to this, and called us to this little boy,” he added. “You can’t ignore the call – or you shouldn’t – it’s similar to a vocational call in my opinion.”
Something else that struck Scott throughout the process was how much foster parenting is promoted in Evangelical churches, including those sponsoring their family’s agency- and how infrequently he heard it mentioned in Catholic ones.
“I would say that [Evangelicals] do a fabulous job in their churches as far as promoting foster care and getting lots of families to participate,” Scott said. “And we’ve got the one true faith, so I want our families and couples to learn about this and possibly participate in it,” he added.
“I know it’s not for everybody, but there’s lots of different things other than taking a child that you can do,” he said, such as mentoring a child or offering support to other foster parents.
“We’ve always had a special spot in our heart for kids in foster care” – Jami; Omaha, Nebraska
Jami’s family, like Scott’s family, experienced a time of infertility before deciding to look into foster care or adoption as a way to grow their family.
But they were also drawn to it in other ways. Before they were married, Jami and her husband had volunteered at a summer camp that united foster care kids with siblings living in other foster homes.
“We volunteered for that as camp counselors, so we’ve always had a special spot in our heart for kids in foster care, so we wanted to try it out for that reason also,” Jami told CNA.
Jami had also grown up in Omaha, Nebraska, the home of Boystown, a temporary home for troubled boys and youth founded in 1917 by Servant of God Father Edward Flanagan.
“I have a special relationship with him, even when I was younger, I used to think he was so cool,” Jami said. “And all through us fostering, I would pray to him and through him because he knows, he helped these kids in trauma.”
Jami and her husband took an infant, Bennett, into their home. His older sister was placed in a different foster home while they waited to see if the children could be reunited with their mother.
It was an “emotional rollercoaster,” Jami said, because she knew she needed to bond with Bennett, while she also had to be prepared to let him go at any moment.
“I would pray through Fr. Flanagan and tell him just ‘please.’ I trust God and his choice in whether this kid goes home or not, because that was also really hard – I was feeling guilty for wanting to keep the baby, because it’s not yours. We’re there to help the parents,” she said.
“So I really believe that (Fr. Flanagan) was holding this whole situation, he just took care of it,” she said.
“The most challenging thing is letting yourself go, letting yourself bond with the child and not trying to protect your own heart,” Jami said, “and then coping with the emotional roller coaster because that can put a lot of stress on yourself, your husband, the whole family.”
“But the most rewarding part is helping these families, helping the parents have the time they need to overcome whatever challenges they’re facing,” she said. “And getting to bond with the (child) is such a gift because literally if you don’t give it who will? And that is such a gift to give a child.”
“This is hardcore Gospel living” – Michaela; St. Louis, Missouri
Michaela’s foster parent journey differs from many others. She and her husband already had children – four of them, all in grade school or younger – when she felt God was calling her to consider adoption.
When the topic of adoption was brought up during her bible study, “my heart just started burning for adoption, the Spirit was moving within me, but I knew that was not something I could just impose on my family or my marriage,” Michaela, who lives in St. Louis, Missouri, told CNA.
She decided to keep the inspiration quiet, and told God that if this is something he really wanted from her family, then her husband would have to voice the same desires first.
So she never mentioned it to her husband. But one day, some time later, he came to breakfast and said out of the blue: “I think we’re being called to adoption.”
As their research into adoption began, they realized that they didn’t feel called to infant or international adoption – two of the most common routes. They realized that God was actually calling them to foster care.
“It was exactly the desire of our heart, it was where God was calling,” Michaela said.
The prerequisites for foster care include classes that prepare foster parents for worst-case scenarios – children who come from broken, traumatic situations who will exhibit difficult behaviors.
But to Michaela’s surprise, “They come and they’re just the most innocent children, this pure innocence comes from a broken life, they don’t resemble the brokenness that they come from.”
Michaela’s family is relatively new to fostering – they started just six months ago – and already they’ve had four children between the ages of one and seven placed with their family.
One of the most rewarding things about foster parenting has been the lessons her biological children are learning from the experience, Michaela said.
“These aspects of the Gospel we cannot teach our children – I cannot teach you how to lay down your life for someone else. But I can show you with this,” Michaela said.
“This is Gospel, this is hardcore Gospel living.”
The hardest part about foster parenting can be letting go – the goal of foster parenting is not to keep the children, but to provide them a temporary home while their biological family can get back on their feet, Michaela said.
Michaela said that’s a concern about foster parenting that she often hears: “What if I get too attached? Isn’t it too hard?”
“These children deserve to be attached to, so they deserve us to love them so that it hurts us when they leave,” she said.
For this reason, she asks case workers to let herself and her children accompany the foster child to their next home – whether that’s with their parents or with another foster or adoptive family.
“It’s super hard for us, but it’s really good for the kids to see us cry, to know that they are loved that much, that someone would cry over them,” she said.
Michaela said she found great support as a foster parent through the Catholic Church and also through other Christian denominations.
“Our own church totally opened their arms to us, and brings over clothes and car seats and was just hugely supportive and welcoming when new kids come to church,” she said.
“Other churches have provided meals – there’s just such a community within the church, within foster care. They’re all telling us they’re praying for us – so it’s the bigger body of Christ within the foster community,” she said.
Michaela encouraged couples who are considering becoming foster parents to trust God and lean on their faith, even when it may seem like a difficult or impossible task.
“When he calls us to those scary, unknown places he provides, he just shows up in ways that we could have never planned for or imagined,” she said. “He does, he makes a way.”
Adoption and foster care programs for Catholic families can be found through local Catholic Charities or Catholic Social Service branches.
[…]
Archbishop Corlione is the worst kind oh hypocrite. Instead of judging others maybe the Catholic Church should clean up its own messes. So many of my friends and family have left the church because you preach but take no responsibility for the horrific deeds priests have committed. At least Senator Pelosi has integrity. Oh and I know you won’t print this because you don’t accept different points of view.
Kelly Greelis Green, Grateful Episcopalian.
I almost expected to read “Grateful Dead” at the end of your sad little screed.
Kelly Green wrote:
“At least Senator Pelosi has integrity.”
Um, really? Because she’s frank about being in favor of killing children?
Interesting.
So molesters are monsters but those who abet millions upon millions of murders are virtuous?
(Virtual emoji: exploding head.)
Are you sure you’re not one of those Elon Musk Twitterbots?
And integrity isn’t the only thing Senator Pelosi doesn’t have.
A seat in the Senate is another.
the catholic church is a private institution and as long as it understands that personal private volition has nothing to do with individual liberty and public policy it is free to be as deluded as it pleases about the meaning of an afterlife –
Negative liberties represent protections , independence and individualism .
Positive liberties represent endowments , dependence and collectivism .
e pluribus unum means individualism and democracy against individualism conspires tyranny by majority .
https://usmessageboard.com/threads/political-science-terminology-negative-positive-wrights-liberties-protections-endowments.707820/
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Catholic and Lutherin charities should NOT be entitled to federal subsidies to inundate the us with illegal migrants . NOTORIOUS for facilitating POVERTY by prohibiting birth the control , in answer to their foolishness , the holier than thou excuse is they are communists .
The Catholic Church has a responsibility to God’s truth even if it offends others. Jesus Christ word offended others because they did not want to accept the truth. Abortion is murder , if that offends anyone then you are blind with ignorance!
Face it, the church doesn’t have a whole lot of arrows in its quiver when dealing with the government. But the archbishop did finally seem to find his backbone and took the time to call Pelosi the hypocrite that she is.
The real question is will she abide by the letter & repent or will she just ignore it, continue her political posturing, and continue on with her life as if it never happened?
If she chooses the former, then the archbishop has helped to stop the wanton slaughter of innocents.
If she chooses the latter, then her motives for all these years are highlighted in sharp contrast to her words.
Either way, the Democrats lose and so I thank the archbishop for finally standing on his convictions. I won’t even ask him what he’s been waffling on for all these years?
As for the rest; I was raised catholic, I refused confirmation, and asked to be excommunicated by the RC church (which they declined to do). So I testify before you as a simple atheist aka “the natural man” (1 Corinthians 2:6-16).
However, given the option of aligning with anything on the Democrat political platform and standing shoulder to shoulder with the church, I’ll stand with the church, because the Democrats are depraved in ways too gruesome to discuss in matters that have nothing to do with spirituality or human dignity.
Archbishop Cordileone is not ‘dealing with the government.’ He is counseling one individual who claims she is Catholic. Ms. Pelosi is an individual servant-representative of the people of the democratic republic of the U.S. The citizens pay her salary.
I thank God you are honest enough to recognize and not hold the hypocritical position (as does Pelosi) of claiming Catholicism as your faith which acting in opposition to its teaching. Good for you that you recognize the Democrat party positions as depraved more often than not. As a Catholic, I believe that depravity affronts human dignity and spirituality.
(You probably lean more Catholic than you realize…)
Worth notice is the failed attempt at literacy and reason with which the pro-abort proponents advertise themselves here. It’s amazing that they didn’t learn in the start of kindergarten that such stuff doesn’t stick.
Once again, I am gravely disappointed in the Church. Rather than take a proactive position to prevent unwanted pregnancies, the Church seeks to blame those who have taken an oath upholding separation of Church and state. The hypocrisy of a public repudiation, contrition, and penance is laughable after years of first denying and then protecting (and still protecting) pedophile priests. The Archbishop needs look no further than his mirror to find a culprit, cococonspirator, and accomplice. Rather than strengthen the dialogue, the archbishop has thrown a bomb that will only spread animosity and suspicion. If the Church has its way on this, what is next? Griswold (contraception), IVF, gay marriage? The archibishp’s actions will only force women and the electorate to think twice about voting Catholic or, for that matter, confirming Catholic justices.
Kelly Green;
Your 5/20/22.
1) It’s spelled ‘Cordileone’.
2) Who is Senator Pelosi?
3) Life begins at conception and that which has been conceived begins to grow and so this conclusion is entirely reasonable – if it’s growing it’s alive.
This is disgraceful politicking, and rather hypocritical. I don’t recall seeing a single priest involved in molesting minors suffering this fate. To quote His Holiness Pope Francis, “Holy Communion is the bread of sinners, not a feast for saints” and you are using your position to engage in political action. Beware the consequences.
As far as I know, no priest ever spent 30 years openly abusing minors while nothing was done to him while claiming that what he was doing was perfectly good and wonderful. But numerous guilty priests have been defrocked and more than a few have gone to prison. All of these desperate attempts at playing the hypocrisy card just reveals the actual hypocrisy on the part of the culture of death crowd.
I am infuriated at forbidding Pelosi to take Communion. Jesus ministered to sinners with love. He allowed Peter and Judas to come to the Last Supper. This is a political act, not the act of a pastor and shepherd to his people. Even the Pope has said that denying Communion is wrong. I wish he would reconsider but know that he thinks he is above the Pope and does not have to act as Jesus would with his flock: with love and compassion. But he gives Communion to priests who have defiled children nonetheless. Truly hypocritical.
Mr. D’Sousa, to your point, I also heard of a priest once who got a speeding ticket, and another who tended to drink too much.
But I’m not sure how they invalidate the Church’s teaching on killing babies. Could you please explain?
Are you saying that no one is accountable for any sinful act until and unless all priests are perfect?
Could it be you have no memory? Could it be you are blind?
Denial of Holy Communion due to persistent obstinate manifest grave sin is not a fate to be feared and hated but an act of truth in charity for which gratitude is the only appropriate response.
Thankyou Archbishop Corlione I am very greatful for your actions, it is right and just. I can only imagine what the prince of lies will be throwing at you, I will be adding your name to my prayers for priests. Again Thankyou if you have the time I would be glad to hear from you and recieve blessings and or advice.
I applaud Archbishop Cordileone on taking action in this situation. I think it is unfortunate that it has come to this, but the Code of Canon Law is clear on the proper procedure. Many Catholics (and other denominations, as I’ve seen from these comments) seem to have a misunderstanding of how sacred the Eucharist really is. I sincerely hope and pray that they will come to realize that it is impossible to be Catholic and assist/support the atrocity of abortion. I will pray for Speaker Pelosi that she may see the error of her ways and adjust them appropriately. I pray also for all bishops that they may have the confidence to act in the best interest of those entrusted to their care.
It is about time polosi was called out! The church should not stop here,every single politician that is pro abortion should receive the same letter right down to the local level. Politicians think they can disconnect their faith from policy.they are not politicians forever but are Catholics and part of church for life.
Yes well to put it really really simply one has to follow the rules if they claim to be part of the team. Or else find another team with different rules
May God bless the Catholic Church. May it grow into a more loving and understanding instrument of God. May the Cardinals adopt a less paternalistic approach and understand that faith is about the individual conscience, not merely about barking orders at the faithful.
Dogs bark. Cardinals barking orders? Pray tell, please give us an example of a cardinal barking an order.
Archbishop Cordileon, a true Catholic in name only. I feel sadness and disappointment that Catholic leadership continues to disparage believers- members of their own community and brotherhood- whom Christ loves unwaveringly. Clergymen and women should maintain a sense of obligation and accountability as it pertains to the teachings of Christ. They need abstain from interjecting themselves in matters of politics and law in toto, but particularly in cases in which significant harm can befall a sizeable portion of our population as a direct result. I pray our leaders can find the grace to banish the hate from their hearts and love unconditionally as the Lord intends. Restore the true meaning of the sacrament instead of diminishing it.
Ms. Pelosi’s membership in the Church is debatable. Assuming that she is/was, a bishop calling out a member of the institution in which he holds lawful authority and jurisdiction is not disparagement. He acts on behalf of the Church whose mission it is to call its members from sin and to assist them in saving their souls. He would be negligent in his duty if he allowed his members to damn themselves.
Nancy is free to worship any idol she chooses. If she wishes to worship the God of Catholicism, she does best to learn what God’s Church commands and teaches and requires her to uphold.
Teaching and counseling are not disparagement. Even if a person persisted in this obstinate error of seeing teaching and counseling and aid to saving as ‘disparagememt,’ a sin of disparagement, when compared to support for abortion, ranks far lower on any ranked scale of severity of sin. Miss Pelosi, for some 40 or so years, has aided, abetted, and supported murder. The sin of murder is MORTAL for many–the victim, the perpetrator, and the ‘legal’ enabler.
Nancy’s continued receipt of Holy Communion, the Body of Christ, while espousing the legality of murder, will continue to be considered sacrilegious in the eyes of Christ’s Church.
If Nancy is to learn anything about God and the Church in which she claims to belong, her review of God’s Law in the Sixth Commandment is the first place she should start.
Support for those who commit the sin against God’s Law in the Sixth Commandment excludes one from a place in line toward salvation. To receive the Body of Christ while supporting murder does the greatest harm and damage to the Body of Christ and thus to Ms. Pelosi’s own soul (and temporal mind).
It is about and on behalf of time – ETERNAL TIME – that Archbishop Cordileone acts. Praise God for gifting His Church with an Archbishop Cordileone.
Now let’s talk about hate. Next time?
What took soooooop long?
Nelson Maniscalco wrote:
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Nelson, Nelson, Nelson! Whom did the good archbishop disparage? He made a heartfelt plea to Pelosi to repent, renounce her sin and return to the sacraments in good standing.
As any good shepherd ought.
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This makes no sense. Why would spiritual leaders and women only concern themselves in issues of little human consequence, while abstaining from matters where human lives are actually at stake?
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Nelson, if the Blessed Sacrament has any meaning at all — if it embodies the actual Person of Christ Jesus Himself — it must be obvious that reception of Him by an individual who is in a state of serious sin, who is obstinate in her sin and who has publicly stood in opposition to one of the Church’s most fundamental teachings for decades on end, is a desecration of the most serious kind and cannot be countenanced by our community or its leaders.
In your platitudes and your talking points, you are forgetting someone, Nelson. In fact, the millions upon millions upon millions of human beings whose lives *are* at stake here.
The lives of the children we will never know, who will never have a chance to live, to breathe, to love, to strive, to improve our world, to make their own unique, God-intended contribution to the human story. Creatures beloved by God with a chance to build lives.
(Disproportionate numbers of them minorities, by the way.)
Nelson, you may be fooling yourself with the lofty, virtuous rhetoric you spout, but you’re just exposing the unassailable fact that those on your side of this issue care nothing for either truth or human life.
I am thankful that the church is starting to call out “Catholic” pro abortion politicians. Ms Pelosi advocates for unlimited abortion rights and policies while at same time publicly talking about her Catholic Faith and receiving Communion daily. She is using her association with the church to gather political support. How can she do this ? Its brazen hypocrisy. I will pray for her – but I also think its time she stops this lie.
Cardinal Ratzinger’s comments were noticeably tilted toward a masculine target. I understand the intention and the declarations global humanistic consequence. It is a quibble that a woman was not targeted and Lord knows the Church can quibble. Personally I would like to have seen the Archbishop rightfully deny the Speakers Eucharistic graces but encourage her to approach the Sacrament for a blessing with hands crossed over the heart.
Taking a stand for abortion is one thing…, however to be fair – where is all the outrage for gun violence? Gun violence that happens daily? Gun violence in all communities within the United States of America? Why not take a stand for ALL human life?
Hopefully, standing up for HUMAN life will UNITE us, not divide us.
Last I looked, the Church’s teaching about murder and taking innocent life—whether by poison, forceps, guns, knives, or bare hands—is very clear.
Part of the problem is a confusion of categories. Just as forceps and other medical equipment are morally neutral, so too are guns. The issue is the use of such objects, while the access and available of such objects is also part of the discussion. The Church is just as much against murder by guns as she is against murder by forceps or saline.
Further, however, who is out there promoting murder by guns as a healthy and necessary action? Or saying that is Group A wants to use guns to kill members of Group B, that’s their right and personal choice?
Anyone who is against murder must logically be against abortion. And abortion is particularly vile in nature because the unborn child is completely innocent and vulnerable.
By the way, Abp Cordileone has spoken out about gun violence, saying in 2015: “We do have a gun culture in the United States and the inclination of violence easily leads to the use of firearms.”
Jesus didn’t implement the sacrament of the Eucharist as a political bargaining chip nor as as means to subvert ones free will. What Jesus also said in scripture is to separate Church from State affairs. It seems like this leader of the faith has forgotten these principles. Granted, abortion is wrong. But if you are to offer your prayers to God, pray that women make the right choice to protect their child. Pray that politicians support free will and democracy in this country. Pray that Church leaders have the responsibility to use better discernment on leaving the faithful rather than polarizing an already divided populace that needs compassion and not oppression. Stick to the teachings of Jesus rather than politicians and religious who worship power.
Unfortunately, you mischaracterize abortion as a secular event. Abortion is murder, pure and simple, and premeditated (first degree) at that. That is against a Commandment. That is a law of God, not the state.
Thy shall not kill is the teaching of Jesus. Evil thrives when good men fail to act!
Pelosi is perfectly free to go on promoting abortion all she wants. She’s just not free to do this AND receive Holy Communion. Problem is, she wants to have her cake and eat it too. That’s not the way reality works, dearie.
#AbortionCheapenedLife
𝙐𝙣𝙗𝙤𝙧𝙣 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙨 deserve due process.
𝕌𝕟𝕓𝕠𝕣𝕟 𝕙𝕦𝕞𝕒𝕟𝕤 have right to a day in court.
𝓤𝓷𝓫𝓸𝓻𝓷 𝓱𝓸𝓶𝓸 𝓼𝓪𝓹𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓼 are due the sine qua non of habeas corpus.🦗
Thank you for the love and truth you have revealed. It is so encouraging and support that you stood on the Spirit and word on God revealing His love for the unborn and children and morality. Also His love for Ms. Pelosi.