Denver, Colo., Jun 11, 2017 / 04:07 pm (CNA).- One of music artist John Mayer’s most signature songs is “Daughters,” a sweet and simple tribute to the importance of parents’ influence on their little girls. Here’s the refrain:
“So fathers, be good to your daughters, Daughters will love like you do. Girls become lovers who turn into mothers, So mothers, be good to your daughters too.”
But when John Mayer isn’t crooning about your beautiful daughters, he’s looking at naked pictures of them, sometimes hundreds at a time before he gets out of bed in the morning. In fact, he often prefers that to an actual human being, according to his wildly controversial 2010 interview with Playboy magazine.
“You wake up in the morning, open a thumbnail page, and it leads to a Pandora’s box of visuals. There have probably been days when I saw 300 (naked women) before I got out of bed,” he told the magazine.
Unfortunately, Mayer’s morning routine is not unique to him. Studies show that easy access to free internet pornography is having devastating effects on real-life relationships.
Preferring pixels to people
“For many individuals, the more porn they consume, the more likely it is that they can end up preferring the fantasy to reality, they can end up preferring the pixels to a person, and that’s really messing up relationships, as you can imagine,” said Clay Olsen, co-founder of the internet movement “Fight the New Drug” (FTND).
The FTND movement, so named because of porn’s addictive properties, aims to raise awareness of the harmful effects of pornography through creative mediums such as blogs, videos and infographics. The website includes personal stories as well as scientific studies to illustrate pornography’s effects on the brain, the heart (relationships), and ultimately on the world.
“Our goal is to change the conversation from ‘Dude, check this out,’ to ‘Dude, that’s messed up,’” Olsen told CNA.
The longstanding, pervasive cultural narrative surrounding pornography is that it is a healthy sexual outlet and can improve sex lives. However, science begs to differ. Several studies cited in FTND’s article, “Porn Ruins Your Sex Life,” found that pornography not only leads to dissatisfying sex, it can lead to less sex with actual human beings.
In a series of studies examining pornography use, “The Social Costs of Pornography: A Collection of Papers” published by the Witherspoon Institute, researchers found that those who viewed pornography became less satisfied with their sex lives, and that viewing porn just once can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction towards a human partner.
According to an article in Psychology Today by clinical psychologist Tyger Latham, Psy.D, erectile dysfunction, while once considered an issue plaguing old men, is cropping up more in young men who rely heavily on pornography to become sexually aroused. A study by the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine surveyed 28,000 men on their internet porn habits, and found that porn use over time led to a lower sex drive and an eventual inability to become aroused at all.
“As soon as they try to actually get close to someone and commit to somebody and have an intimate relationship with somebody, it’s in those moments that the harms of pornography show their full colors and truly manifest themselves,” Olsen said. “The unrealistic expectations are completely exposed…
And we now see people in their 20s having porn-induced erectile dysfunction because they cannot get excited or aroused without the presence of pornography.”
A decline in marriage rates
Not only is pornography use destroying the physical sexual life, it may be impacting the number of people pursuing marriage or committed sexual relationships.
In the fall of 2013, an article in The Guardian sounded the alarm that fewer people in Japan were having sex, citing as evidence numerous statistics on the country’s declining birth rate, marriage rate, and even rates of young people who are dating or who are interested in dating.
A follow-up article on Slate found that while the actual number of people having or not having sex might not be definitively pinpointed, the statistics on falling marriage and birth rates only mean Japan is leading a world-wide trend, rather than bucking one. While it’s not clear whether porn is directly influencing these numbers, many have speculated that it is.
Researchers with The Institute for the Study of Labor (IZA) in Germany found an increase in free Internet pornography is at least correlated with a significant decrease in the percentage of young married men, and it may even be contributing to the trend. A 2013 Pew study found that 71 percent of single Americans were not looking for a committed relationship. Another study found that nearly 40 percent of American women had never been married.
“The results in this paper suggest that such an association exists, and that it is potentially quite large,” the study notes, as reported in the Washington Post.
The study used General Social Survey (GSS), a comprehensive, nationally representative survey which analyzed internet use of 1,500 men ages 18-to-35, between the years 2000 and 2004. The researchers studied the number of hours spent on the internet per week, how often internet pornography was used in the past 30 days, as well as other activities such as use of religious sites.
Even when adjusted for variables such as age, income, education, religion and employment, the study found that generally, the more a person used the internet, the less likely they were to be married. Additionally, it found that the more a person used internet pornography, the less likely they were to be married. On the other hand, the use of religious websites was positively correlated with marriage.
Mark Regnerus, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Texas at Austin and a Catholic who has studied religion and sexual behavior, cautioned against assuming that correlation equals causation in such studies – but said that pornography use is likely part of a more complex reason for dropping marriage rates.
“We know that both things are occurring, but it’s difficult to establish a causal connection,” he told CNA in an e-mail interview. “A variety of things are contributing to the declining marriage rate.”
“I don’t think porn use necessarily causes that, but contributes to it (together with diminished earnings power, diminished confidence, etc.),” he added. “To be sure, porn use doesn’t help build confidence in men, something that’s pretty necessary (but not sufficient) to be considered marriageable. So I’d say porn use is a suspect here, but connecting the dots is hardly straightforward.”
Increasing awareness
Only in the past few years and months has a conversation countering the “it’s healthy, it’s normal” narrative been emerging in mainstream media about pornography. Several celebrities are speaking up, and there are an increasing number of websites dedicated to helping people fight pornography addictions.
In 2015, the release of the controversial “50 Shades of Grey” movie sparked a conversation on social media about sexual violence against women in media, with the hashtag #50dollarsnot50shades encouraging people to forgo the movie and instead donate to places that help victimized women.
The movie sparked a response from an unlikely source – British comedian Russel Brand, whose short video about the problems with pornography went viral, generating over 500,000 views on his YouTube channel and over 2 million views on FTND’s website.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt is another celebrity who has been outspoken about the negative impact of pornography, most notably in his 2013 movie “Don Jon,” which he wrote, directed and co-starred in along with Scarlett Johansson. The film explores the unrealistic expectations of love and relationships that come from pornography addictions and from the media at large.
“I think that there’s not a substantial difference between a lot of main-stream culture and pornography. They’re equally simplistic, reductionist,” Gordon-Levitt said in an interview with NPR about the film.
“Whether it’s rated X or ‘approved by the FCC for general viewing audiences,’ the message is the same. We have a tendency in our culture to take people and treat them like things.”
But the internet has been around for decades now – why has it taken society so long to catch on to the fact that pornography is harmful?
“Science has caught up with the fact that pornography’s harmful,” Olsen said, “but society is still catching up.”
It often takes years for something that was once culturally accepted as true to be flipped on its head as science proves otherwise, Olsen said, so Fight the New Drug knows they still have a lot of work ahead of them.
“We’re very excited to see some of this progress and some of these mainstream media outlets kind of following suit and starting to talk about the negative impacts, we couldn’t be more excited about it, but we still have a long way ahead of us.”
Some other websites that are also trying to raise awareness and give help to those struggling with pornography include The Porn Effect and Covenant Eyes, and internet filtering and accountability system.
The best way to kick a porn habit? Keep fighting it and lean on the sacraments, Regnerus said.
“(My) advice: don’t give up hope; pursue confession regularly; recognize and avoid the contexts which give rise to temptation. That’s a start.”
This article was originally published on CNA April 16, 2015.
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Archbishop Gregory’s comments towards the President is uncalled for! The first lady is a devote Catholic and their appearance was to call for Peace and Unity and yet the Bishop choose to say that their visit was reprehensible! This in my opinion shows a contempt from the Church. This language is supposedly contrary to any teachings from the Church. It portrays the divide in this country!
As a catholic raised through Catholic Grade School, High School and College as an Alter Boy, Chaplains Assistant in Vietnam I now have reached a point in my life that the Archbishops action and words has now made it official that I believe that the Church has nothing more to offer than misplaced hatred for our President. This makes my leaving the church that much easier.
So now I will place my faith in direct communication to the Lord Jesus Christ and leave the church on the sidelines.
They are SCREAMING loudly for acceptance of the rioters and looters. Say they stand up for injustice YET is truly a one way street. There is NO acceptance or understanding for those trying to defend life and property. I believe the Church should see and support both sides. The Church must see both the bad and the good on both sides
Well said. The bishop is out of line. This president and his wife are the biggest supporters of rights of the unborn that our country has ever seen, bishop should be ashamed and get his rosary out and pray and quit condemning our president.
good riddance
Melania Trump may be a devote Catholic, whatever that is, be she most certainly isn’t a devout Catholic. And you certainly aren’t either, no matter all the Catholic education, service as altar boy and Chaplain. If you were such a good Catholic you would see Trump for what he is, a lying and morally corrupt adulterer, racist, hater, narcissist, cruel, stupid, draft, dodger and a non believer and coward who only used the Catholic church and the bible as a photo op.
Spiteful, much, Sonja? I am a devout Catholic, and I do not see President Trump as that laundry list of talking points you submitted. I do see you spewing vicious hatred. I’m sure you’re just fine with abortions and the attacks on freedom of religion and would far rather have them than have Mr. Trump as President.
Let me guess, TDS and a devout member of the demoncrat party.
You do know that the slaughter of the innocents is the cornerstone of your party of death? Oh well, at least your hero, Joe Biden will defend your “values”.
We are not supposed to hate anyone. If anyone had a reason to hate, it was Jesus. He spoke the truth about God’s Kingdom, which threatened the powers of his day. He was rejected by his own people, endured a merciless scourging at the hands of Roman soldiers, was cruelly mocked and then forced to carry a heavy wooden cross upon which he was ultimately nailed and hung so that his humiliation could be witnessed by all. Yet he was heard to say “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do”.
I stand with my Savior.
I strongly support Archbishop Gregory and his criticism of trump.
Hoping that the mighty intercession of St.John Paul 11 , along with all of heaven is there , to touch all wounded hearts , wounded esp. in the Father realms ,
that the Holy Father too may be grieving over words , thus more compassion and grieving / praying in The Spirit ,for all the wounded , to thus make it an occasion for blessing for all !
Wilton Gregory’s words to President Trump is reprehensible. It is no different from the words coming out from the liberal MSM.
President Trump offers me more hope than the USCCB. SAD!
The archbishop should have called the center first.
President Donald Trump signed an executive order that seeks to promote international religious freedom and stop religious persecution overseas. The President signed the EO after visiting St. John Paul II National Shrine in Washington D.C. late this morning. One of the items in the EO calls for spending millions of dollars to assist programs that advance the cause of international religious freedom.
President Donald Trump is blessed by God.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgchpzSaYJA
They did not use tear gas, or the Part Police would have had to have gas masks on! What is happening to our beloved Church. I thought the ones in the WHITE, RED AND FUCHSIA WERE TO BE THE STANDARD BEARERS TO LEAD THE FIGHT TO MAINTAIN OUR CHURCH! WHY ARE THEY NOT MORE VOCAL AND SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF THEIR VOICES AT THE CLOSING OF OUR CHURCHES, WHILE ABORTION CLINICS AND BIG BOX STORES REMAIN OPEN? ANSWER THAT ARCHBISHOP! President Trump was the first President to attend and defend the rights of the unborn. He is a breath of fresh air compared to the stale tales coming out of you and Rome!
SO MY 1ST AMENDMENT RIGHT IS DENIED BY YOU? AND I WAS JUST TELLING THE TRUTH. SUCH A SHAME THAT I CANNOT VOICE MY OPINION SINCE I A CRADLE CATHOLIC! SHAME ON YOU AND YOUR BIASED SITE. THIS IS WAS THE MSM DOES AND HAVE YOU BECOME PART OF IT?
CWR reserves the right to allow or not allow any comments on its site. No one’s “rights” were being denied. Rather, all comments are moderated. You’re welcome.
Do stop shrieking, Rosalie. You do the cause of the Faith no good, and you make supporters of the President look unhinged.
The First Amendment says “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.” The key matter is that “Congress shall make no law.” If a private website chooses not to post something you wrote, it has nothing to do with the law, Congress, or the First Amendment.
“
So the bishop is basically saying we need to love each other, except for the president. The double standards and judgemental leadership of the church is why I left the church years ago. Being spiteful yet always preaching acceptance. The church has become a complete embarrassment. This is exactly why I stopped going to mass on Sundays. Hypothetical, self absorbed idiots are in charge
God is not spiteful,God is not a complete embarrassment ,but yes God is our Judge.
We cannot blame God for anyone who has become a traitor. You see they have lost their faith and have caused confusion in the church
Remember He said I will be with you til the end days. He died for all of us. Don’t be fooled Satan loves lies and deception.
He needs you to come back and speak out to them.
John
“… This is exactly why I stopped going to mass on Sundays. Hypothetical, self absorbed idiots are in charge”
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I’m guessing you meant to type hypocritical?
Sure, the Church is absolutely populated by fallen human beings like you & me but at the end of the day Christ is in charge of His Church & He’s who we put our trust in. He’s the one we visit in the tabernacle & receive in the Blessed Sacrament.
I think there have been hypocritical, self absorbed followers of Christ from the beginning. Or worse.
Our Lord couldn’t even depend on His own apostles who had personally witnessed His miracles. Only one had the courage to remain at His side at Calvary. The others had either betrayed Him or run away.
The miracle today is that after 2 thousand years our Church still survives her fallen members & weak clergy.
Don’t be like the apostles who ran away, be like St. John who was steadfast.
God bless you!
Archbishop Gregory remarks: “I find it baffling and reprehensible that any Catholic facility would allow itself to be so egregiously misused and manipulated in a fashion that violates our religious principles, which call us to defend the rights of all people even those with whom we might disagree.”
The Church does have something important to say, but maybe the archbishop would be less baffled if he were open to a more serendipity view of events? The CALENDAR DATE of the previously-scheduled Trump appearance (and his signing of the declaration of religious freedom!) simply became an accident of the worst timing.
Something like the meltdown into the not-irrelevant Civil War…In the Civil War, the SERENDIPITY ASYMMETRY is (a) that the North eventually escalated its case into the Emancipation Proclamation—at the cost of some 360,000 fatalities; while (b) the South thought in some large degree in terms of a less banker-dominated culture (“the system!”), one protected by states’ rights, and with some 260,000 additional dead, also white.
For the north and the Emancipation Proclamation, there were also 2,700 Black fatalities, not to be forgotten, either.
So, now, today, to the streets, with the real, richly complicated, and deeper issues too easily graffitied-over with clichés from all sides including an archbishop.
One ENCOURAGING SIGN was the more measured commentary by former President Obama (not my selection). At a similar time and case in his administration, Obama fanned the racist flames with an early snap judgment which, in that particular case, was in error. Later, he remarked that he should have “calibrated” his comments more carefully (Harvard-ese for screwing up).
To his credit, he remembered; what do we remember?
Whatever his cultural flaws, the states-rights General Robert E. Lee was also and distinctively a true gentleman and a STATESMAN. All of us should find “reprehensible,” possibly, the removal of Lee as a symbol of those qualities—missing so equally (!) in all factions today—from even our town squares and visible history.
Indeed, the archbishop who earlier promised to “always tell the truth,” perhaps he now will find “reprehensible” the New York Times “1619 Project” set to be deployed soon in public schools—and teaching that the war for Independence was not about principles of the common good, but rather about perpetuating slavery.
Another serendipity messaging, this time from the Left, POORLY TIMED AS WELL AS FALSE, and therefore sure to further inflame the hell now claiming on our streets and national memory.
Trump’s visit to the Shrine was scheduled prior to the killing of George Floyd on an unrelated issue that all people of good conscience should be able to get behind. If Gregory found the event so objectionable, he could have communicated privately with the people at the Shrine beforehand instead of publicly castigating them after the fact. He has no right to berate them for failing to go out of their way to scorn Donald Trump’s very person, especially when he was content to have the at least equally questionable persons of Cardinal Mahony and Cardinal Wuerl at his side for his installation Mass.
A further thought! The Archbishop’s outrage that President Trump should appear at the Shrine in the midst of the George Floyd protests for any cause whatsoever, even in connection with an executive order on international religious freedom, effectively relativizes the killing of George Floyd with the persecution of Christians worldwide. As He Himself has said, the death of one man is a tragedy. The death of a million men is a statistic.