Catholic ministry helps adult children of divorce find healing and love

 

Miami, Fla., Jun 30, 2025 / 06:00 am (CNA).

Kendra Beigel was 14 years old when her family life took a turn for the worse. In her small-town Minnesota home, she was used to her parents arguing, but her family situation further disintegrated when her mother intervened in her father’s alcohol issues and her parents went to court.

“It was like the whole town decided to take a side and get involved in our family business,” recalled Beigel, who was raised Catholic. “I had to grow up quickly… Each stage of the initial separation and how it comes out of the blue, then the divorce and everything that it brings, and then the subsequent annulment; each brought its own hurts and difficulties and it never was easier.”

Now an adult, Beigel remembers thinking back then, “How can you just be a kid anymore?” Navigating child custody routines, “you [the child] have to be the one to pack the suitcase and to move and uproot your life.”

“I threw myself into academics and extracurriculars,” she said. “No one on the outside could tell how much I was hurting because I was excelling externally… You start to really put a lot of blame and guilt on yourself when you have no one to talk to, no one thinks to bring it up with you, and you’re really just trying to run away.”

When ingrained fears caused her to struggle with family dynamics, friendships, and dating in college, Beigel knew the past had left its mark. In October 2022, she joined a Life-Giving Wounds retreat for adult children of divorce (ACODs) near her home in Denver.

Celebrating its five-year milestone in 2025, Life-Giving Wounds — back then just a two-year-old apostolate — was already making a big impact.

The beginnings

The ministry was created in 2020 by Daniel and Bethany Meola, a married couple with a special heart for adult children of divorce. Beginning with online retreats during the COVID-19 pandemic, Life-Giving Wounds now hosts events both online and in-person, with a presence in almost 40 dioceses throughout the United States in addition to the Archdiocese of Toronto, Canada.

Himself an ACOD, Daniel Meola explained: “The more I dug into it in college and post-college, I realized there are lot of ministries for divorcees but not as much for adult children of divorce.”

Since a high school retreat had turned his life around after his parents’ divorce, he recognized that “there needs to be an intentional ministry and community for others like me. Jesus’ heart desires this.”

In addition to retreats, Life-Giving Wounds offers a blog with topics ranging from “Book and Media Reviews” to “Relationship Advice”; a book published in 2023; and even a summer 2025 Online Reading Group and support group using Victor Hugo’s “Les Misérables” as a springboard.

The retreat helped Beigel break through the bubble she had found herself in after her parents’ divorce.

“Going in, you’re just thinking, none of my friends have gone through divorce. This is something that feels like such an isolating cross,” she said. “But as soon as I walked in, I saw everyone at my parish who I had no idea was in ‘the secret club that no one wants to be a part of,’ as they joked.”

The retreat was transformative. “I really appreciated that they had a whole retreat manual to follow,” she noted. “It really invited you to take a leap of faith and invite the Divine Physician into these ugly areas of your heart.”

Unbeknownst to her, a young man who had participated in a Maryland retreat earlier that year in August 2022 was Beigel’s future husband, Joe Beigel. The fact that they were both Life-Giving Wounds alumni would bring them together. Joe said the friend who introduced them “got my attention” by commenting that Kendra had attended Life-Giving Wounds and had been featured on the podcast “Restored.”

Chuckling, Kendra recounted Joe’s approach: “[He said,] ‘You can go ahead and delete that Catholic Match profile — you won’t need it now that you met me!’ And it worked!”

Joe and Kendra Beigel were married on Jan. 18, 2025.

To other ACODs, Joe’s message is: “You’re not doomed to repeat your parents’ mistakes and to not get married or to settle for less in a marriage, because God wants so much more for you.”

Kendra agreed. “The thing that shifted with marriage, it’s not that you are done working on the wounds from your parents’ divorce, you just have someone you are working on it with, because that’s what marriage is. You’re working together first and foremost, helping each other along.”

Craig Soto II and Sidney Soto, another Life-Giving Wounds alumni couple from Kansas, are preparing to welcome a baby into the world. Craig Soto said of Life-Giving Wounds’ anniversary: “Truly, what five years means to me is hope.”

“When we did the full-body scan to make sure the baby was healthy, I remember the sonogram technician said everything was normal,” Soto said. The simple phrase hit him hard.

“That’s a beautiful gift for me, for somebody who’s lived a very abnormal life. I got so used to it that ‘the normal’ actually became confusing and strange to me,” said Soto, a retreat leader. “To hear that our child is ‘normal’… To me, a normal life is all I’ve ever really wanted. That’s why I say that there’s hope, because I have hope for a normal life.”

Those called to the vocation of marriage aren’t the only ones who have benefited from Life-Giving Wounds. In fact, retreat alumnus Father Ryan Martiré of the Diocese of Bismarck, North Dakota, helped bring Life-Giving Wounds to seminarians.

Martiré participated in one of the first online retreats as a seminarian, later joining an in-person retreat while studying at Kenrick-Glennon Seminary in St. Louis.

The seminary’s rector “saw a tremendous need in the seminary and asked if I would introduce this ministry to more people in the seminary,” said Martiré, who was ordained on June 11, 2024. “Not only healing for themselves, but to be fathers who can provide this healing for others.”

Kenrick-Glennon Seminary held its first retreat in spring 2022 and has the honor of being Life-Giving Wounds’ first seminary chapter.

“The wound of divorce can be very attached to a father wound,” Martiré explained. “When a seminarian receives healing there, it can have a serious spiritual impact, that he receives confidence to be a father.”

“One of the things that struck me when I was studying wounds of divorce is that so many children with parents who have divorced did not experience a word of accompaniment from their pastor or priest: ‘I’m so sorry that happened,’” he added. “A child who’s starting to self-protect and live hyper-independently because of their parents’ divorce needs a spiritual father or a spiritual mother to comfort them and to acknowledge that they’re hurting in their perfectionism, or in whatever way they’re coping.”

Brady Hershberger, a young adult Life-Giving Wounds alumnus from Ohio, said: “I think Life-Giving Wounds is making the ACOD population feel seen, and like we don’t have to keep sweeping this wound under the rug as if it weren’t seriously a wound… It gives me a sense of hope that people like me will be seen and loved and heard.”

Indeed, Martiré said he believes Life-Giving Wounds has a special connection to the 2025 Jubilee, with its theme of hope.

“What struck me my first time at the retreat was seeing really stable, healed, holy people giving the presentations. People who are coming from a dark path with very divided families, and you see that they’re not living defined by their wounds,” he said. “That’s very hopeful that, as Christians, we don’t need to live in the past. We can become transformed by Christ if we let him into our suffering, our dark and imprisoned places.”

Life-Giving Wounds co-founder Bethany Meola said she is excited for what’s to come. The ministry has projects focused on engaged and married couples in the works, and they also look to increase outreach to college students, Hispanic ministry, seminaries and religious, and more.

“This anniversary is an opportunity to look back and see where God has taken us so far,” she said. “Obviously we have objective numbers to see how the ministry has grown from local to all around the country, from just a few retreats to more and more every year, which has been so beautiful. But more than the numbers, we’re reflecting on the people we’ve been privileged to encounter — more and more people all the time whom Life-Giving Wounds can hopefully lend some support to.”