Experiencing the Hamas conflict from within Israel: An interview with Channah Bardan

6:29 a.m., Saturday, Oct. 7. Across Israel, families were sleeping in. This Shabbat marked the final day of the high holy days. Thirty days of prayer, fasting and traditions had culminated in Friday’s joyous night of feasting, Simchat Torah. Families had come together; singing and dancing with the Torah had continued late into the night. This week, children would go back to school and life would return to normal.

On the sabbath, Channah Bardan’s cell phone would usually be silent. Today, however, her daughter in the States was in labor and she was waiting for news of another grandchild.

Suddenly, her phone lit up with an emergency alert. Channah wasn’t alarmed—In Israel, red alerts weren’t unusual, warning that a missile from Gaza had fallen or been intercepted somewhere. `

Then another alert came through. And another, and another, and another. As twenty minutes passed and hundreds of emergency messages filled her phone without a pause, Channah knew this was no ordinary attack. She checked Israeli news and radio. Nothing.

An intuition made her turn to news sources from outside Israel. What she saw was horrifying.

For the next several hours, she watched, transfixed with horror, as the gruesome scenes played out. When it was over, thousands of Israelis were dead, and 240 had been taken hostage. Some 7,000 missiles had overwhelmed Israel’s Iron Dome defense system, leaving massive destruction in their wake.

Suddenly, Israel was at war. Like the rest of the country, Channah and her husband, Rafe, were asking “How did this happen?”

Their questions would have to wait as they hastily prepared to send their oldest son to war. Israel had put out a call for reservists the day of the attack. The next day, 170,000 men and women of all ages reported for duty. In two days, the number had swelled to 350,000.

Two months later, half a million soldiers are protecting their homeland, coming from all over the world to protect a nation that has been “shaken to its core,” in Channah’s words.

Israel is, in some ways, strangely the same, and in others, vastly different than it was before the attack.

Galilee, in Northern Israel, is still lovely, she says. The couple busy themselves with projects around the house, tend their garden, check news and emails, and call their grown children to check on their newest grandbabies.

That surface tranquility is tainted by the very real presence of war, however. The deep blue sky of Galilee is filled with the thrum of fighter jets, helicopters, and drones.

As they go about their daily business, they are acutely aware that they have just 18 seconds to run for shelter in their home’s mamad, or safe room.

As they walk their dog, they see Israeli flags everywhere, as well as hand-lettered signs expressing thanks to the IDF forces. There are also posters of the missing and those still held hostage.

The news distresses them—not only the war news, but the pro-Palestinian slant that permeates much of the Western media.

Their emails include worried inquiries, as well as less welcome advice and criticism.

Much of the online correspondence Channah receives comes from the United States. Family, friends, and former neighbors are concerned and checking in, voices from her old life—before she made aliyah to Israel in 2019.

Prior to that, she was a suburban American housewife and homeschooling mom. Moving to Israel was a dream that she had cherished growing up in an orthodox Jewish family. She never forgot that dream, but shelved it during busy years raising her family. Her children were mostly grown when Channah and Rafe made the decision to move to Israel.

Today, she is in a unique position. She is Jewish Catholic, observing both Catholic and Jewish ways. A typical weekend sees her observing Shabbat, then going to Mass on Sunday. She prays the Rosary in Hebrew. She signs her emails, “In Yeshua ha Moshiach.”

Channah sees her Catholic faith as a natural progression of her Jewish heritage. When she embraced Catholicism, she kept her Judaism and all that it entailed.

Catholic World Report spoke with Channah about the war and what it’s like to live in Israel right now.

CWR: What was your experience that Shabbat morning?

Channah Bardan: Friday night, Simchat Torah, had been beautiful. We have a one-year cycle in Judaism in which you read the entire Torah. On Simchat Torah, the cycle of reading is complete, and the next cycle begins. There is incredible celebration. That night, we roll the entire scroll from the last chapter of Deuteronomy back to Genesis 1, and everybody gathers round … and after the rolling is finished, the Jewish people spend almost all night dancing, singing, and celebrating. There are huge community celebrations in every town, as well as individual neighborhood celebrations.

The next morning, my phone, which would usually be off on Shabbat, was on as I waited for news from my daughter.

At 6:29, the red alerts on my phone started going nuts. The warning system of red alerts is not unusual, announcing incoming missiles, but this was not a normal pattern. It didn’t stop. Usually, you’ll get a volley of ten or twelve alerts, and then it will stop. It will go off for one specific area in Israel, but this was scattershot, from north of Tel Aviv, all the way down south to the desert, and to the east towards Jerusalem. It was relentless. After about twenty minutes of constant “beep beep beep beep,” it was just filling the screen.

As a journalist, intuition told me to try MEMRI [Middle East Media Research Institute] and Al Jazeera. So I pulled up Al Jazeera. What I saw was horrifying. Thousands of Hamas militants were pouring across the Gaza border into Israel and were slaughtering, raping, and abducting Israelis, uploading footage in real time to social media and news websites.

I saw things that nobody should see. Family members were being tortured in front of each other; bound together and set on fire; there were beheadings; babies were shot in cribs in front of siblings; people were having body parts cut off. It’s horrific. The terrorists would take the victim’s phone or computer, have them FaceTime other family members, and then proceed to torture and kill the loved one as the family watched in terror. As if that wasn’t horrible enough, the terrorists, laughing, would take breaks to eat the Shabbat meals each family prepared. Many of the terrorists had obtained IDF uniforms and were disguised as Israeli soldiers.

In between MEMRI and Al Jazeera, I sat for six hours and a half hours, glued to the screen, watching it unfold in real-time. I knew I was witnessing something I had to see. I realized, I’m witnessing history.

Because if I hadn’t seen it firsthand to tell my kids and my grandkids, how would they know? I had to witness it firsthand so that others would know. I watched—not so much out of horrified fascination—but because I had heard stories from my grandparents firsthand, and from relatives who had survived the holocaust. I had heard of atrocities. I had grown up hearing the stories. I know what happened in the pogroms and in the concentration camps. But this was particularly cruel, particularly barbaric, particularly ruthless.

We’ve had barbarism in every century. In every generation there has been a Hamas, there has been an Amalekite, there has been somebody who has arisen to erase the Jews. There is a spiritual significance, because the promised Messiah comes from the Jewish people, and with the help of God, our enemies have always been defeated.

CWR: Was the Hamas attack a total surprise to you? Was the possibility of an attack something you worried about frequently?

Bardan: Like the rest of the country, my husband and I kept asking “how did this happen?” I was numb as I went about the following days.

Israelis know they are not living in a great neighborhood overall. We’re a tiny little country and we’re surrounded by a huge sea of neighbors who do not want us to be here. If we were to ask, where do you want us to go, they might say “Go back to Poland, or go back to America,” but what they really want is for us to be at the bottom of the sea.

We know, living here, that every town is within less than a minute of a missile shot. Up here in Northern Israel we live with the knowledge that Hezbollah has over 150,000 missiles pointed directly at us.

Living under that threat constantly, you learn to appreciate life here. Each moment is a gift.

I go into every holiday thinking “Is this going to be the holiday that something is going to happen?” Then you get to the end and you breathe a sigh of relief.

We don’t know what happened, but what we do know now is that the army bases on the Gaza border, which you would have thought would be fully stocked at that time, were not. At that time, a lot of the soldiers who spent their high holy days on base were given leave to celebrate with their families. As a rule, in the Israeli military, you serve one or two weekends on base during Shabbat and then you get a weekend off to be with your family. On holidays, the bases are staffed more than usual. But this time, it was treated almost as a regular Shabbat. That’s the question. Why?

I don’t have the answers.

CWR: What is life like in Israel right now, two months after the Hamas attack?  How are you touched by the war? 

Bardan: The Galilee, in northern Israel, despite threat of imminent attack from Lebanon, Syria, and Iraq in the first weeks, is still beautiful as always. Despite the continual IDF jets overhead, the helicopters and drones, birds are singing, bees are buzzing and children are at play. You would hardly know anything is happening.

Except, predictably, at sunrise and late afternoon we hear the sounds of Hezbollah booming as artillery and missiles are fired from Lebanon into Israel. Thankfully, all of the border towns both up North and all around the Gaza envelope—over 240,000 people—have been evacuated. We’ve personally helped find shelter for two large families and an elderly couple.

We are all struggling to come to grips with the new reality. Everybody knows someone who is kidnapped or who was massacred that day.

The response of reservists showing up for duty overwhelmed the system. Mothers and wives are sending homemade food up to the fronts by the carload. I don’t know any other place where women literally drive up drive up to the field with casseroles. It’s nuts. The real army is backed up by an army of Jewish mommas!

It’s winter so many older ladies have been knitting hats for the soldiers. All the camping stores are depleted; the thermal underwear is gone; the waterproof ponchos are gone. People buy anything and everything, not for themselves but to give to those in the IDF. God forbid, you shouldn’t have a warm blanket and get sick! To keep the economy going, retirees are out in the fields harvesting crops. Older doctors are returning to clinics to fill in for those now in the service. Everyone is trying to pitch in as we know Israel is in a fight for its existence.

Because most men between 21 and 60 were called up, leaving women, many with very large families to care for, the towns seem surrealistically empty.

My phone still beeps constantly with emergency alerts as missiles strike, mainly the center of the country. UAD’s regularly come over from Lebanon and are shot down.

What people don’t realize is that more than 20,000 missiles have been fired by Hamas and the Palestinian Islamic Jihad from inside Gaza into Israel since October 7.

Although it wasn’t reported by the mainstream media, the missiles kept coming until the cease fire. They started again as soon as it was over. Because of the number, there has been substantial damage to buildings and to infrastructure [despite Iron Dome.] It’s also psychological warfare to keep people constantly running to bomb shelters.

At all the entrances to the city there are armed checkpoints. There are armed guards at all the shopping areas and stores and bags and people are inspected before entrance. All public bomb shelters are marked and open. It gives one a sense of security.

CWR: So, you feel safe up to a certain point …

Bardan: Here in Galilee, it’s sometimes hard to believe there’s a major war going on about two and a half hours away.

Until we turn on the news. The IDF have started interviewing terrorists they caught, and we are now able to watch the clips. They are confessing to everything proudly, holding no detail back. Detailed lists and maps have been found in the fields of the Nova peace festival, in the kibbutzes they raided, and in the trucks they left behind. They contain lists of who was in what terror group, and instructions—exactly where to go, what to do: raping, beheading, firebombing homes, and taking hostages. They were each promised an apartment and $10,000 for each captive taken. It was not random.

They had maps of each of the kibbutzes: who had a dog, exact floor plans, where the children’s bedroom was, where the parents’ bedroom was, where the safe room was, upstairs, downstairs, they knew where to go and who was where. How did they get this?

CWR: Do you have a theory about that?

Bardan: After the Oslo Accords in 1995, Gaza was completely emptied of its Jewish population and given to the Palestinians, who up to this day have complete sovereignty over the land. The Palestinians elected Hamas to be their governing body. A majority of Israelis who lived in the communities next to the borders were peaceniks, and they believed in giving the Palestinians a chance, opening up the borders.

Palestinians from the West Bank held visas to work in agriculture and construction. They were gardeners, housekeepers, factory workers … .Over 170,000 Palestinians had work visas, student visas, day passes, passes for medical treatment, each day. So these people were trusting, believing that all Palestinian civilians were innocent and good, they just needed a helping hand, they just needed a chance, an opportunity, a university education … As it turns out, we’re now rethinking this, and it’s very sad, because you want to believe the best in your fellow human beings.

But when you see an eight-year-old child who has just seen his parents massacred, has been abducted and is now paraded in his pajamas in the streets of Gaza City, and there are a group of kids beating him with sticks, while the mothers are giving the kids little lashes and whips … when you see these “innocent civilians” parading their captives in the back of pick up trucks, picking up two by fours and clubs and beating them, even whacking an elderly lady on the head while shouting “Allahu Akhbar”…

CWR: Why do you think the people of Gaza tolerate Hamas and its hatred of Israel?  Gaza hasn’t seen an election since the early 2000s. Hamas has imposed radical Sharia law that condones things like honor killings and stoning. And the people of Gaza are used as human shields.

Bardan: It’s true. But to make a few points clear. These are not resistance fighters. Israel did not start this war. We do not wish to be fighting now. If we could live peaceably side by side with the Palestinians, we would put down our arms and return to our families and our lives in an instant. We have not committed war crimes. Israel is not fighting innocent civilians, Israel is fighting abject evil. It is a culture of life against a culture of death. As IDF troops make progress in clearing Gaza of evil, huge stashes of weapons have been found in schools, hospitals, mosques and homes.

From a very young age, children in Gaza are taught that Jews are vermin, that Jews are occupiers, terrorists. We have vacation bible schools and day camps for our kids; they have military training where their children are taught how to throw a grenade, how to pull the pin, how to hold a gun, how to stab, what to aim for. They learn to want to kill Jews. Not only is this taught to them from a young age, but by doing so, a couple of things happen.

If you live in Gaza, and you kill a Jew, you become a shaheed—a martyr. But if you’re killed, or if you’re caught and put in Israeli jail, your family will get a cash stipend, what’s known as “pay to slay.” That comes directly from the Palestinian Authority Martyrs’ Fund. Indirectly, it comes from foreign aid directed at Palestine. In 2016, the Palestinian Authority had a budget of $300 million for monthly stipends and benefits to reward terrorist acts.

In all fairness, we don’t know the whole story. What happens when someone comes to your house and they say, “We know you work for Jews. Give us this information or we will kill your children and your husband?” Just last week in the West Bank, Palestinians brutally beat, then stabbed, then hung up the bodies of Palestinians suspected of being Israeli collaborators.

CWR: How has the wave of anti-semitism that has made headlines recently affected you?

Bardan: I’m afraid we are in for the fight of our existence here. It’s a spiritual battle between the forces of good and the forces of evil. The worst thing is seeing the rise of anti-Semitism everywhere in the world. I’ve encountered it many times firsthand, but never have I seen anything this pernicious.

The UN has made eight resolutions condemning Israel. There have been no resolutions against Hamas. Even when they have proven with video evidence by the terrorists themselves, of rape, of women who have had crushed pelvises and other atrocities, the UN has refused to acknowledge and condemn the fact that Israeli women had been raped …

When I call my children in the States, I try to keep my voice calm to avoid worrying them. But I am very worried, not just for myself, but for their safety with the sudden surge in antisemitism. My biggest fear is not that I’m going to be bombed: my biggest fear is that my children will not be safe in the areas [of the U.S.] where they live … I really feel that they would have a better chance over here than they do where they are.

One of my daughters is getting a degree in English literature. You would think she would be reading Jane Austen and Dickens, but instead she is having to watch films on Palestine and the resistance. She wrote to the president of the university as she felt threatened by the large and rowdy pro-Palestinian marches and gatherings on campus, and received a patronizing answer. She wrote to the director of student activities, who told her “Maybe you should consider not wearing anything that is obviously Jewish, or going places where Jewish people congregate.” She’s being bombarded from all sides, from the social movement people outside of school, from the professors in the classroom, from people who don’t know history, and if she tries to interject real history and real facts, they don’t want to hear.

CWR: You said you have seen this from Christians as well. Can you explain?

Bardan: That is actually the thing that hurts us the most. We are faithful Jews, but we are also faithful Catholics.

We have been experiencing so much anti-Israel sentiment from leaders in the Church, from influencers we follow on social media, as well as from old friends. I have heard thinly veiled as well as blatant “those perfidious Jews” statements.

I’ve received many supportive emails, for which I’m so grateful. But I’ve sadly also gotten several letters from old friends and even religious setting us straight on non-violence—Israel as “aggressor in seeking bloodthirsty vengeance. Your people always were a bloodthirsty lot … but now you are Catholic and must not fight but forgive those who persecute you. It’s up to you to decide.”

It’s been more than disheartening—it’s downright frightening. Catholic hierarchy, both Latin and Orthodox, have condemned Israel as committing terrorism against the people of Gaza. They have made little to no mention of the atrocities committed by Hamas or the PIJ. They have not mentioned the word evil when it comes to describing the people or acts of the jihadists. They fail to acknowledge Hezbollah and their threat to attack. All blame is placed squarely on the Jewish state.

Six of my fellow Jewish Catholics, people who were strong in their faith, have left the Church in the last few weeks. They are angry. They are afraid. They were not just shocked and scandalized; they feel they were “completely betrayed.”

I have a Jewish Catholic friend who has written the Pope and our new Cardinal every single day expressing her frustration and outrage at the situation. She’s sticking with the Catholic Church because, as she says, “Where else have we to go? This is the only place where I have Jesus, where I have the True Presence, where I have the Eucharist.”

Our local Hebrew speaking Catholic community has been great. Many members of the Catholic community, both Jewish and Arab Catholics, are serving in the IDF and defending their country. Our local priests have been amazing in their understanding and support of all our complex needs.

For the first time in decades, Christmas has been all but canceled in the Holy Land. Christians used to be the majority population in Bethlehem, Nablus, Nazareth, East Jerusalem. Now these are Muslim majority communities. The larger municipalities as well as the smaller Arab communities have outlawed lights, decorations, Christmas markets, and celebrations. There is a “Christmas tree” in Bethlehem, but it’s a “Martyr’s Tree” with photos of terrorists who have been killed in the act in the West Bank and Gaza.

Christian churches are complicit in this. Instead of nativity scenes, Baby Jesus is wrapped in a keffiyeh and almost submerged under a pile of concrete rubble in order to stand in solidarity with the Palestinians. We Jewish Catholics are now afraid this will lead to violence against us.

To our bishops and those higher in the Church, I’d like to say, we don’t mind if you pray for the Palestinians, but pray for us too. Do not label good as evil and remain silent on evil.

CWR: On Dec. 17, two Christian women were reportedly shot by the IDF in Gaza City outside a church there. Can you address that?

Bardan: I also heard this. It’s a tragedy when any innocent civilian is killed during wartime.

To answer this question, I’d like to cite an article from All Arab News, a Christian news service. It tells how a small shipment of food, water and supplies was finally able to be delivered to two historic churches in Gaza City on December 18. Several aid organizations had been trying for weeks to get supplies to the Christians who were sheltering there.

Late on Dec. 17, after weeks of intense house to house, street to street fighting between Hamas and the Israeli military, the IDF was finally able to push through Hamas resistance and secure the neighborhoods around the churches, allowing aid workers to finally bring in emergency food to the Christians in the middle of the night.

An effort by the UN to reach the churches with food the week before had failed. A UN convoy was attacked by Hamas gunmen, and the driver was shot and seriously wounded. The trucks were looted, the food and supplies were stolen, and none of it reached the Christians who were sheltering in the churches.

I think this report casts grave doubt on whether the IDF would deliberately target Christians sheltering in the very churches they had been trying to reach with aid.

The editor of All Arab News reported shortly after the claim was made, “At least one Israeli government source tells me that it is not clear that the IDF was responsible and that it may very well have been Hamas terrorists who are responsible for these deaths and injuries.”

Remember the Al-Ahli hospital bombing, immediately attributed to the IDF. It was quickly reported by Arabic news sources and picked up by news media around the world. It turned out to be a misfired Hamas missile.

Meanwhile, what do you hear about the four direct missile hits on Barzilai Hospital in Israel? About the direct hits on Ichilov Medical Center? Nothing.

It is so sad. Everything about this war is sad. And Hamas is conducting a hugely successful misinformation campaign. To those in the West, I say, don’t believe everything you read in the media. And pray for peace!

CWR: Can you remark on the resurgence of faith in Israel since the war began?

Bardan: Since October 7 we have witnessed a great spiritual revival. The Gazan invasion was seen as a wake-up call, and it was not just Israel versus Hamas … It was a battle of good and evil, a spiritual battle. It was an earth-shattering, foreshadowing kind of thing, a turning point. It led to a national spiritual awakening.

Israel, which just two months ago was deeply divided politically and religiously, is now operating in unity. Two months ago it was predicted that almost 35% of reservists would fail to show up for their service in the event of a war. Not only have 100% reported for duty but over 21,000 people, native Israelis and lone soldiers, have returned from over seas to defend their country.

People who have never prayed before are praying.

In the past, secular Jews here have resented ultra religious Jews for not enlisting in the army citing religious principles. The Jewish people who are observant have shown tremendous dislike for those who do not take their religious obligations seriously. Now, even the Haredim, the ultra-Orthodox men, have enlisted in the IDF by the thousands. Those who have not enlisted are serving by making and delivering meals, working to assist paramedics, working as drivers and substitutes for those called up to the front line.

Secular Jews are requesting yarmulkes [head coverings]. Shabbat liturgies are being celebrated inside tanks and shofars are blown before battle. Each battalion has a Torah scroll. Women are lighting Shabbat candles. Bible studies and prayer groups have sprung up throughout the country, observant and secular together, in support of the troops. This has not happened since the time of the Maccabees.

And even though they have not recognized the true Messiah yet, the people—even people who never pray, secular Jews … are turning back to God in prayer, praise, worship and supplication with all their heart. No one skips morning prayer on the bases. Soldiers are breaking out in spontaneous song and dance to Psalms. Among the people, prayer groups and round the clock sequential psalm groups and Bible studies are taking place. Everywhere you go. Almost everyone you encounter. People are committing to waking up at 2, 3 in the morning to pray psalms. It’s round the clock.

People saw what happened as good and evil. It was an existential battle, because there was the possibility—a real, imminent threat—that Hezbollah would enter, that we would be attacked from all sides. We saw what was happening and we went—literally—“Oh my God.”

And all of a sudden we started hearing phrases that I had only heard in the ultra orthodox sectors before. One of them being אין עוד מלבדו—Ein Od Milvado—“there is none besides Him.” Ein Od Milvado. “There is no one else, there is no one higher.” “We only have one person we can trust. Our only hope is in God.” You see that phrase on billboards, bumper stickers, everywhere.

Eventually we see the eyes of the people of Israel, the Jewish people, being opened. We think the Messiah’s return is within our lifetime. We see things happening now, prophetically, biblically lining up now, that just weren’t lining up in years past. We’re just watching and we’re praying, and offering up.

CWR: Any final words?

Bardan: I saw everything. Everything. I haven’t cried yet. It’s all bottled up inside me. I know if I start crying, I won’t stop.

Evil is all around us. And yet there are beautiful reminders of God’s love, mercy, and protection. At this darkest time of the year, whether you’re lighting Hanukkah lights or Advent candles, let them be a sign to you. Look to the light!

(Editor’s note: This interview was conducted a few days before Christmas. It has been lightly edited for length and clarity.)