Washington D.C., Jun 5, 2017 / 03:12 am (CNA).- Walt Heyer remembers the moment when he started desiring to be a girl.
When he was just 4 years old, Heyer’s grandmother would crossdress him while she was babysitting. She loved seeing Heyer in dresses, and even made him his own purple chiffon dress.
But it was their secret, grandma said – don’t tell mom and dad.
At age 7, Heyer brought the purple chiffon dress home with him, and hid it in his bottom dresser drawer.
Heyer’s mom soon found the dress, and confronted him about it. That’s when he told his parents that grandma had been dressing him like a girl for years.
“You could have set off an atomic bomb in the house for the conflict between my dad and my mom, and my mom and her mom, my dad and his mother in law,” he said.
Heyer’s parents didn’t have the vocabulary or the resources to know how to handle the situation. His dad reacted out of fear, and implemented very stern disciplinary measures. An uncle of Heyer’s found out about the story, and started teasing him about it. Eventually, he sexually abused Heyer.
“You see people who have such disordered thinking (gender dysphoria) are hurting,” Heyer said. “The problem is that we don’t know what to do with them.”
The desire to be a woman – to be someone other than the abused and hurt little boy – stayed with Heyer into adulthood, even though he had married a woman and had two children. At age 42, he surgically transitioned to a woman and asked his friends to start calling him Laura.
“But it began as a fantasy and it continued as a fantasy, because surgery doesn’t change you to a female. It’s no more authentic than a counterfeit $20 is authentic. You can’t change a biological man into a biological woman.”
After less than 10 years, and a conversion experience, Heyer regretted his transition and desired to live as a man again. He now runs a website called sexchangeregret.com, where hundreds of people contact him every year, sharing their own experiences and regrets of sex change surgeries. Most of them follow the pattern of feeling affirmed by their sex change for a time, only to have underlying psychological problems come roaring back after about 10 years, Heyer said.
Heyer told his story in a talk earlier this year at a Courage conference in Phoenix, where dozens of clergy and those in ministry from throughout the country gathered to learn how to best serve those with same-sex attraction in the Church.
Just recently, the ministry has been including talks and resources not just on same-sex attraction, but also on the issue of transgenderism, as transgender advocates continue to garner attention in the public sphere.
How can the Church help transgendered people?
There are few Catholic ministries that exist today that minister particularly to those struggling with transgenderism and gender dysphoria. Other than a handful of local ministries, Courage – the Church’s outreach to people with same-sex attraction – is one of the few ministries addressing the issue of transgenderism on a national and international level.
“Until recently, pastoral care to individuals who struggle with their sexual identities as male or female has largely occurred at a local and personal level,” said a spokesperson for the U.S. Bishop’s Conference Office of Public Affairs.
“As attention to and awareness of this experience has grown, we are seeing more efforts regionally and nationally to respond in a way faithful to the Catholic understanding of the human person and God’s care for everyone.”
Part of the problem is that the issue of transgenderism and its acceptance in popular culture is so new that mental health experts are still trying to catch up to the trend, said Dr. Gregory Bottaro, a Catholic psychologist with the group CatholicPsych.
“I think the mental health profession hasn’t really had time to really thoroughly catch up on it, besides those in the field who kind of just flow with the current of whatever is popular in the moment,” he said.
But mental health professionals who are willing to follow any current trend are only “furthering the divide” between Catholic and secular practitioners, he added.
At the moment, the biggest concern regarding the popularising and normalizing of transgenderism is the effect it’s having on children, Dr. Bottaro said.
“With kids, it’s really important to recognize that their sexual development is so fragile, and the influence of what’s popular in the culture needs to be really, strongly filtered and studied and understood,” he said.
“The Catholic response is a return to true anthropology – male and female he made them – to understand that our biology and our psychology are not separate things, and so to encourage the development of a curriculum of human nature that is consistent with a true anthropology,” he said.
And it’s not just the Catholic Church that is concerned with the effects of transgenderism on children.
In a paper entitled “Gender Ideology Harms Children,” The American College of Pediatricians lays out specific reasons that they are concerned about the popularising and normalising of transgenderism among kids.
“A person’s belief that he or she is something they are not is, at best, a sign of confused thinking. When an otherwise healthy biological boy believes he is a girl, or an otherwise healthy biological girl believes she is a boy, an objective psychological problem exists that lies in the mind not the body, and it should be treated as such. These children suffer from gender dysphoria,” the group said in its paper.
To encourage a child into thinking that “a lifetime of chemical and surgical impersonation of the opposite sex is normal and healthful is child abuse,” they added.
“So while there are biological abnormalities (children born with ambiguous genitalia or an extra chromosome), they’re certainly not circumstances to build philosophical systems on, so we see those as abnormalities and anomalies,” Dr. Bottaro explained.
Learning how to best serve transgendered persons
When asked, the U.S. Bishop’s Conference Office of Public Affairs referred back to Courage as an example of a ministry that was providing pastoral care and guidance on transgenderism at a national and international level.
Dioceses that have their own chapters of Courage to accompany those with same-sex attraction are also “in a good position to help people who have questions regarding their sexual identity as well,” the spokesperson said.
Father Philip Bochanski is the executive director of Courage International. He said the organization will continue to discern how best to serve transgendered persons and their families.
“There seem to be some similarities between the experience of confusion regarding one’s sexual identity and the experience of same-sex attraction, but there are also many differences,” Fr. Bochanski said.
In the meantime, the ministry’s outreach for parents, called EnCourage, is already actively engaged with parents and families who have a transgendered loved one, Fr. Bochanski said.
The goal of EnCourage is to help parents and family members of those with same-sex attraction, or transgendered persons, to maintain strong family ties while also holding to their understanding and teaching of the faith.
“Our EnCourage members pursue these goals by striving to grow in their own prayer lives, to learn more about what the Church teaches and how to present it in a loving way, and to find ways to show love and support without either condemning their sons or daughters, nor condoning immoral decisions.”
“Like the experience of same-sex attraction, questions regarding sexual identity have a profound impact not just on the individual but on his or her whole family,” he said.
“I’m glad that our EnCourage members and their chaplains have the opportunity to share their experience of speaking the truth in love in their own families with other parents and spouses who are striving to understand and support their loved ones who identify as transgender.”
Heyer said first and foremost, the Church must gently but firmly challenge people, rather than affirm them in their gender dysphoria.
“If we affirm them in changing genders we’re actually being disobedient to Christ, because that’s not who they are. He made them man and woman,” Heyer said.
He also said that pastors and those in ministry in the Church need to be better informed about the long-term physical and emotional consequences of sex change surgery.
“Because we’re not talking about the consequences. We’re only talking about them transitioning, which all looks really good for 8-10 years,” he said, at which point many people desire to go back to their original gender.
“So if we can get a bigger set of glasses and look long term…then we can look and see the destruction that happens and begin to address the destruction.”
Pastors and psychologists, working together
Deacon Dr. Patrick Lappert, a permanent deacon and plastic surgeon, also addressed the clergy and ministry leaders at the recent Courage conference. In his talk, he addressed the medical background of transgender surgeries, as well as the terminology used when discussing the issue.
It’s important for those in ministry to be well versed in the issue, both from a catechetical standpoint and from a medical and secular standpoint, Dr. Lappert told CNA.
“One of the dangers in the subject is that ignorance causes people to respond in unhelpful ways – sometimes in anger, sometimes confusion, revulsion, all kinds of emotional things that do not serve anyone, and certainly do not serve the Church,” he said.
“Be so fluent in the issue (and the terminology) that nothing surprises you, so that you can serve the person justly with the truth and with love,” he advised.
It is also important for priests and Church leaders to have good working relationships with psychologists and psychiatrists who share a Christian anthropological view of the human person, and would not encourage people in their gender dysphoria, Dr. Lappert said.
Dr. Bottaro said he has seen an increase in good working relationships between pastors and psychologists who believe in a true Christian anthropology.
“I think priests are becoming more and more aware of the need for it, the more volatile the situation becomes, the more obvious and pressing the need is for mental health expertise from a Catholic perspective,” he said.
He said that he thinks Courage is a good place to start as far as ministry goes, because they have the “experience and expertise to sort of bridge the gap.”
“It could become a whole separate ministry, but it’s definitely related to what Courage is already doing, so it could become a branch of it, or they could decide that there’s many more people suffering from the effect of transgenderism,” he said.
But the issue of transgenderism extends beyond just those struggling with gender dysphoria, he added. It’s a cultural issue even more so than a psychological one, and it needs to be addressed on the levels of education and improved family life and catechesis just as much as it needs to be addressed on an individual basis.
Throughout the process of discerning and pastoral care for both people with same-sex attraction and with gender dysphoria, the most important thing is to remember the foundation of everyone’s identity, Fr. Bochanski added: “That of being created in the image and likeness of God the Father, and of being called to share in God’s grace as his sons and daughters.”
This article was originally published on CNA Feb. 9, 2017.
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This is the sort of thing that undermines the credibility of Catholic bishops. “Embarrassment?” That sounds like an awfully flimsy excuse for not having the backs of the faithful, but after the church closures of 2021, why should we expect any better?
Well, I guess that settles it: the Catholic Church is a Church that is perfectly comfortable with the use the cell lines of aborted (murdered, reallty) babies.
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https://www.pdcnet.org/C1257D43006C9AB1/file/5265B61D5497F52585257D94004802BB/$FILE/ncbq_2006_0006_0003_0077_0099.pdf
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The article is interesting,the footnotes are sometimes heartbreaking.
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The Church demands “respect” for the human body, hence the hierarchy fights against cremation and so-called “liquid cremation.” Nevertheless, it is perfectly moral to use the cell lines of intentionally killed children for any variety of uses: from vaccines to flavoring tests to beauty products (https://cogforlife.org/wp-content/uploads/fetalproductsall.pdf.)
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This is respect??
I guess you know what the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith has to say about this:
“…all vaccinations recognized as clinically safe and effective can be used in good conscience with the certain knowledge that the use of such vaccines does not constitute formal cooperation with the abortion from which the cells used in production of the vaccines derive.”
https://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_20201221_nota-vaccini-anticovid_en.html
Yes, I am very well aware. As noted: the Catholic Church is perfectly comfortable with items derived from murdered children some 48 years ago. Incidentally, fetal tissue research is an ongoing reality. Who knows, maybe in 30, 40, 50 years the cure for cancer will be found because of an abortion that occurred this morning?
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Ah, that would be an irony wouldn’t it? Some priest or pro-lifer protesting at a clinic where abortions are occuring, only to benefit from the death of a baby whose murder they were protesting?
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Soooo, guess we should not be concerned. Greater good and all that.
Kathryn,
Your personal computer makes use of one or more microprocessors, the developments of which were accelerated by NASA’s goal of landing a man on the moon, which in turn made use of technology developed by the German rocket scientist Werner von Braun, who helped to develop for Hitler’s Third Reich the V2 rocket that killed many people in England. Later in life, Werner introduces this video, with a reference to a “God given ability”:
Ultimate Saturn V Launch with Enhanced Sound
There is cures for most all cancers but big medicine through the pharmaceutical companies as well as hospitals that specialize in treating cancer will not let these cures come into the public eye. Just like as an example squashing the gasoline cars that could get 100 mpg big oil would never let this happen. Cancer is curable the media propaganda will say no it isn’t.
Yes, all of the pharmaceutical companies are involved in a secret conspiracy to withhold medications from dying people so they can make a profit. The earth is also flat; climate change is real; and the moon landings were all faked on a movie studio set.
Peisistratos,
You have done a service to the Church with your posting.
While the CDF article should be sufficient to provide practical guidance for practicing Catholics, an even more detailed analysis is available:
Cooperation, appropriation, and vaccines relying on fetal cell line research, by Stephan Kampowski, for The Catholic World Report
January 24, 2021
I do not have any doubt that much of what we use in our every day life without a single though is tainted in some fashion with someone’s death, or someone being enslaved, or child labor, etc.
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These vaccines are being pushed on us by our own hierarchy, and for a good many of of, are neither necessary nor wanted.
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On this kind of thing is ongoing.
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https://www.foxnews.com/politics/pittsburgh-fetal-tissue-project
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Want to put an end to it?? Stop buying these products. Simply complaining will not do any good. It would help if the Hierarchy were on our side.
Quite apart from anything else, nobody can require us as Catholics to provide a note from a priest, because the civil authorities don’t get to define what our religion is or what our consciences say. So if, for example, a nondenominational “Bible Christian” who acknowledged no church hierarchy or an atheist could say “It’s against my conscience” and be told, “Oh, well, that’s your call,” I think it would count as illegal discrimination to insist that the Catholic had to have a note.
This does seem to be the issue on which the Catholic Church has shipwrecked itself, not only in its cooperation with products of abortion, but in its failure to grasp the truth of the matter on every level.
Not vaccines
No grave threat
Ignored alternatives etc, etc, etc.
But nonetheless confidently onboard with the narrative. What the hell is going on?
I never heard the Catholic Church or the USCCB use the term “embarrassment to the archdiocese” when the scandals of the priesthood is exposed, from either homosexual acts, pedophilia or stealing money from the Catholic faithful. Why is it not an embarrassment that the truths of the Catholic faith have not been taught, such as the Holy Eucharist is the body and blood soul and divinity of Our Lord Jesus Christ, not a symbol, also you cannot receive Our Lord , when in the state of mortal sin. We need to pray for our Shepherd’s for holiness and courage.
“Any treatment which claims to
save human lives, yet is based upon the destruction of human life in its embryonic state, is
logically and morally contradictory, as is any production of human embryos for the direct
or indirect purpose of experimentation or eventual destruction.” John Paul II, Address to
the Members of the Pontifical Academy of Sciences (November 10, 2003).
I don’t need a priest to grant me an exemption from taking the currently available, morally compromised vaccines. My conscience does that for me. Pope Francis has stated that there is a moral obligation to take the vaccines, but all the ones that are available have some connection to research on fetal cells obtained through abortions. Taking any of them implies an approval of such medical research going forward. If the Church had stood firm in the beginning of the pandemic and told people not to receive immorally produced vaccines, don’t you think we would have had at least one vaccine (Sorrento) that wasn’t researched, produced or tested by immoral methods? The hierarchy takes away religious freedom of conscience? Aren’t they acting, then, like the secular government? Shame.
Pope Francis isn’t infallible unless he declares the moral responsibility to receive the currently available vaccines a matter of Dogma.
Madam, you are absolutely correct. Me, I’m battling to remember when it was this particular pope defined or even defended a dogma ?
During the Bergoglian captivity we have all come to be supremely confident that episcopate holds the interest of the faithful paramount. We’ve seen it demonstrated in its ardent concern for the faithful comprising the underground Church in China, those who find their liturgical devotion enhanced by participating in the sacrifice of the Mass according to the Ancient Rite, and the suppression of the Eucharist globally when it was deemed to be a threat to temporal existence, ad infinitum…
What is wrong with this picture?
A trust deliberately trashed will not be easily restored.
I am very disappointed in the arch diocese. I will move forward with a request for religious exemption despite their office. And if denied I’ll accept any consequence. I think the diocese statement is a disgrace I’ll be sure to give my money to true Christian work.
Mother theresas nuns who do look after the poorest of the poor 🙏you will never recieve reguestbafter reguestb for more money. You will though recieve a tax receipt and a sincere thank you
I have read Francis’ exhortations composed for him. I have no idea if he ever read them. Most of the content was good. Sections were blatantly sophist. By ignoring the Dubia, Francis has refused to answer simple, self-evident questions about exceptionless norms of the negative precepts of the natural law that any theology freshman taking a first course in moral theology could handle with ease. Before the whole world he has made consistently stupid remarks about abortion, from forceful but insensitive remarks that authentic pro-lifers never make, characterizing a troubled woman in a crisis pregnancy as hiring a hitman, to remarks that trivialize abortion as an obsession, to praise for the world’s most savage abortionists and promoters. I exercise simple honesty, not disrespect, to say I know of no reason to take the advice of a pope I regard as a profound fool on matters of morality.
“This concern is particularly acute among people who are strongly pro-life and very loyal to the teaching of the faith,” the memo stated.
So, it sounds like, if you’re “very loyal” to the faith you’re some kind of idiot.
“Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I refused getting vaccinated without asking you for exemption.”
Agreed that we are morally obligated to pursue knowledge of this Corona spike protein being used in an injection involving multiple vital organs and the reproductive system for the good of self and others, including the preview. However, even as composing this response, new data is forthcoming and as it relates to variants and long and short term benefits or harm. Moreover, one has to evaluate the degree of emergency in rushing to an experimental drug. Regardless, hoping that conscientious, hesitant Catholics are prepared for great sacrifice. The law may soon ridiculously compel us to ring a bell and call out “unclean” in the public square.
Pushing of the vaccine by Pope Francis is based on his opinion, not on doctrine. Therefore, the faithful are not bound by his edict. It should also be noted that a number of hierarchy have publicly disagreed with Francis concerning the vaccines. Furthermore, Pope Francis does not address the controversy that has arisen with respect to the safety of the vaccines with over 400,000 adverse effects, including over 11,000 deaths, being reported to VAERS (Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting System) supported by CDC. These vaccines are still experimental in nature with clinical trials continuing through 2023.