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Chastity is a boy’s best friend

On lessons learned from a long-ago Spring break.

(Kimson Doan @doanstopexploring |

When I speak to young people, and even more so now during the #Me Too Movement era. I am wont to say, “Chastity is a boy’s best friend.” Because, I add, if nothing happened between you and a woman, there’s nothing to talk about. And it’s much harder to fabricate a criminal charge. Like imperfect contrition, choosing chastity to sidestep various negative consequences will suffice, and it’s also a good building block for future growth in virtue.

I derive my axiom, in part, from a song made famous by Marilyn Monroe and arguably more so by Carol Channing, given her longevity: “Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend.” It’s a cynical take on relationships going back to the late 1940s, basically arguing that a relationship with a man may not endure, but the diamond(s) he gives you will.

Alas, diamonds are not much of a best friend, as countless women from broken relationships of the completely consensual variety can attest despite possessing their big gems, whereas women who wear much smaller rocks—but who are also in loving marriages—can testify to what’s really most important.

As a native Detroiter now residing in a neighboring suburb, I was reminded of all this when Matt Patricia, the new coach of the NFL Detroit Lions, was accused—along with a college friend—of sexual assaulting a woman during a 1996 spring break trip to South Padre Island, Texas.

As reported in both local and national secular media, Patricia has adamantly maintained his innocence. While a grand jury in Texas found enough evidence to indict Patricia and his friend, the woman ultimately chose not to go forward with the matter, saying she could not handle the stress of a trial. And so the case was dismissed.

The old charges have resurfaced as Patricia, who earned several Super Bowl championship rings while working for the New England Patriots, including as the team’s defensive coordinator, is now the head coach for the Lions.

In defending himself, Patricia referenced both his parents, whom he said had raised him to know right from wrong, and his older sisters, whom he said had taught him to respect women.

However, when asked whether he was sexually intimate in a consensual manner with the alleged victim, Patricia declined to answer.

“Again, what I think is important here, what happened 22 years ago is what didn’t happen,” Patricia said. “As I said, I was innocent then and I’m innocent now. I was falsely accused of something I did not do.”

“I was accused of something that I did not do,” Patricia added. “I went through the process, and the case was dismissed.”

Given that there was an actual indictment, it seems that something did occur, whether consensual or not. The Detroit News reports that medical evidence was gathered from the investigation, though it’s unclear whether there was DNA evidence.

I don’t know the alleged victim, and I’ve never met Matt Patricia, although the overwhelming majority of what I’ve learned about him is positive. And yet, even if one concludes that Patricia is telling the truth about the alleged incident, there is no doubt the NFL coach would love to relive that day back in 1996 another way. Because some of his choices obviously continue to yield negative dividends for him.

Which brings me back to my axiom, “Chastity is a boy’s friend.” Because if nothing happened, there’s nothing to talk. And it’s much harder to fabricate a criminal charge.

I mention “fabricate,” because I recall one television crime drama in which a man was framed for raping and murdering a woman he knew, even though he actually did neither. However, he made himself vulnerable by being sexually intimate with a high-priced call girl, who provided medical evidence of their encounter to those who wanted to frame him. Which was then planted on the murdered victim.

The man was acquitted in the end, but it was an especially chilling reminder that chastity is indeed a boy’s best friend. May all people—both men and women—learn from Matt Patricia’s cautionary tale as well.

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About Thomas J. Nash 13 Articles
Thomas J. Nash is a Contributing Apologist and Speaker for Catholic Answers and a Contributing Blogger for the National Catholic Register. He is the author of What Did Jesus Do?: The Biblical Roots of the Catholic Church and The Biblical Roots of the Mass. He has served the Catholic Church professionally for more than 35 years, including as a Theology Advisor for the Eternal Word Television Network (EWTN).


  1. I mistakenly thought the sexually vulnerable man was Trump. But he could easily stand in for vulnerable when it comes to chastity. It’s not part of his vocabulary. No mention of how chaste a woman should be? One need only to refer to the priesthood to see how chastity is applied.

    • Almighty God had a serious design error with his creation of males. That flaw was asking them to remain celibate until marriage and, at the same time, “blessing” them with a libido.

  2. As to the song “Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend,” the song was first made famous by Carol Channing, who played the role of Lorelei Lee (and sang the song) in the original Broadway production of the musical play “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.” (The lyrics are by Leo Robin, and the music is by Jule Styne. The book of the musical is by Joseph Fields and Anita Loos, adapted from Miss Loos’ novel (same title as the musical).) The show opened on Broadway on 8 December 1949 and closed on 15 September 1951 – a run of 740 performances.

    The movie version of “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” was released in August of 1953. Yes, Marilyn Monroe did have a big hit with “Diamonds Are A Girl’s Best Friend” in the movie, as big a hit as Miss Channing had had on Broadway; and yes, Marilyn Monroe DID do her own singing in that movie (she wasn’t dubbed).

  3. Look to the patriarch Joseph of the book of Genesis to show you how no accusation can come about so long as you are chaste. But that was then, and women would never make false accusations today right?

    • Thank you for your article, Mr Nash. I wish I would have known this when I was a young man! I am currently 68 years and laboring DAILY to be a good Catholic against the sins of the flesh! Believe me, I wish ANYTHING ELSE would have happened to me that day that I was “introduced” to porn, accidently, by my father. Please young people out there, cling to chastity, pray for purity. Listen and believe the Church and not the society we have created for ourselves. When you are older and hopefully wiser you WILL be glad you did! Let Christ and His Church be your guide!

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