Two recent stories illustrating the vulnerabilities of priests have deeply saddened me.
In early July, Father Matteo Balzano, a young Italian priest, took his own life. Father Matteo’s suicide shocked his parishioners, as they had not realized he was facing such a dire mental health crisis.
The other story hit a little closer to home. A few weeks ago, our beloved parish priest collapsed just before Mass. No physical problems were found, and after much reflection, he decided to take a few months off to deal with some mental health issues. While he had previously discussed his experiences with anxiety, I don’t think many people understood the extent of his suffering, as he always wore a smile.
These stories should serve as our wake-up call to not only check on our parish priests but to check on everyone around us—especially the sick, the elderly, those who live alone, or anyone else who might be in a vulnerable situation. We do so because letting people know they are valued and that they matter is part of building a culture of life, and protecting and caring for those around us is an act of love in which pro-life people must partake on a daily basis.
As these stories show, mental health issues are more prevalent than we think, and they can affect anyone regardless of age, sex, or profession. In fact, in 2023, the surgeon general declared that America is facing an “epidemic of loneliness.” And a recent article by the American Psychiatric Association explained that “early in 2024, 30% of adults say they have experienced feelings of loneliness at least once a week over the past year, while 10% say they are lonely every day.”
Loneliness leads to sadness, to isolation, and sometimes to depression or worse.
Understanding this, we have a responsibility to our friends, acquaintances, and people within our communities to get to know them, to talk to them, to spend time with them, to ask pointed questions if we are concerned, to look for patterns, to watch body language, and to make ourselves a presence in their lives.
But we cannot forget that those vulnerable populations include our parish priests. Often we think that they are indestructible, like Superman, as they minister to the sick, to grieving families, to those with disabilities, and to those with their own mental health issues, and as they take care of the physical parish, say Mass, hear confessions, and so much more. When we take a step back and think about this enormous responsibility, we have to realize that all of these things affect them. They may seem like Superman, but they are just human, with human vulnerabilities.
In a Facebook post reflecting on Father Matteo’s suicide, a Peruvian priest named Omar Buenaventura discussed the reality of these vulnerabilities.
Father Omar wrote, “God is my strength. But I must admit that I too need to be hugged, heard, held, loved, forgiven and cared for. We need to be treated like men, not machines. Seriously sometimes the weight is huge and without God I would crush myself too.”
In the Book of Psalms, we read, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, saves those whose spirit is crushed.” And though we can intellectually know that God is there for us, our physical bodies need something tangible. We need human contact—a hug, companionship, and someone to spend time with and talk to. We need to know that we are loved and valued.
Even God Himself said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” And so He created Eve from Adam’s rib.
Priests who take a vow of celibacy give up the path of matrimony, yet that does not mean they have to live in isolation. They, too, need friends, family, and people who care about them, people who check in and ask if they’re okay, and people who call just to say hi. Serving as a priest can lead to a solitary life, so it is our job to look out for these men of God, as they do so much for us. We have a unique opportunity to serve as a support system to our parish priests, not only because we want them to lead in an effective manner but because we genuinely care about their well-being.
If on a regular basis, everyone in the parish did just one thing—befriended the priest, made him a meal, invited him for dinner, provided positive feedback on an especially inspirational sermon, or something else entirely—imagine the uplifting effect this would have on him.
The sad reality is that our spiritual fathers will probably not ask for help until it’s too late, so we must pray for them and care for them as lovingly as we would care for our biological fathers. This is what it means to be a part of our Church family.
In the early 1900s, Pope Pius X did something that surprised the Catholic world. Until that time, popes dined alone, presumably to reflect and pray. But Pius X wanted company, so he began to invite friends and advisors to share his meals with him. People were shocked, but he understood the importance of friendships and of having others around for support and comfort.
Not everyone—priest or layperson—can articulate this need or have the means to rectify it. So let’s allow Pope Pius’ example to lead us to acts that draw people out of their isolation and that make them feel loved. Truly, the greatest gift we can give another person is our time and attention.
St. Paul taught that we should “bear one another’s burdens, and [we] will fulfill the law of Christ.” Indeed, and when we heed his words and help someone carry their burdens, we let them know that we value them and that they matter, and this could quite possibly save a life.
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Great eye opening article. Loneliness is real and can affect anyone. I too have had two different priests leave our small Catholic Church probably due to living alone and finding a new life outside of being a priest. This is all very real. Thanks for writing about this topic and giving great ideas to help others.
A priest makes himself lonely. He’s called to an intimate relation with Christ, through the Holy Eucharist and contemplative prayer. As the divine nature of Christ radiates love into his human, sacred heart, so the priest receives the same love radiating into his own.
It’s the living flame of love within as called by St John of the Cross that inspires him to offer daily Mass, visit homes, especially shutins, the sick, the local medical center, nursing homes. Perhaps a little time for fly fishing for recreation. Not a bad life. If you live it.
“A priest makes himself lonely.” This sounds like an accusation. Did Jesus make himself lonely in Gethsemane? My guess is that many priests who experience loneliness did not cause it themselves. Maybe. But even if they did, a loving response is called for. Instead of telling someone to go fly fishing, maybe consider what’s happening in the priest’s life. Being lonely because people reject your preaching of the gospel is very different from being lonely because you never leave the rectory. And there would be different remedies for each of these situations. Or, could there be some kind of illness at the root? Perhaps some medical help is needed. I don’t know, but being dismissive doesn’t help. It may lead some people to give up on life.
There can be many things going on in these cases. but most of us were created for fellowship. That’s something sorely lacking these days, whether one’s a priest or a layperson.
Having a relationship with Christ is critical but we need human interactions, too. Our Creator recognized that it wasn’t good for man to be alone. At least not 24/7.
I see so much mental illness these days. And that seemed to increase after Covid .
Video games should be outlawed until you graduate high school.
Have you noticed the horn honking in the last few years? Crabbiness and impatience abounds.
David, Father Morello was not being dismissive. You misunderstand his comment. And a little respect for Father Morello on your part is in order.
Fr. actually qualified the meaning in word as he is using it. The support and fellowship is God in grace. Very modest if you ask me as perhaps he wanted it. I would be considering before God, Lord God I am wondering what I may do for You on that”. Which is why I chose to reply to you David; an initiative in the same prayer.
‘ He’s called to an intimate relation with Christ, through the Holy Eucharist and contemplative prayer. As the divine nature of Christ radiates love into his human, sacred heart, so the priest receives the same love radiating into his own. It’s the living flame of love within as called by St John of the Cross that inspires him to offer daily Mass, visit homes, especially shutins, the sick, the local medical center, nursing homes. Perhaps a little time for fly fishing for recreation. Not a bad life. If you live it. ‘ [ – Fr. Morello ]
An admonition yes. Response to Christ’s love requires effort and pain rather than passivity, comfort and sentimentality. We develop relationships going to people in clinics, at their homes, or in detention centers. Not by pining away on our recliners.
A requisite for mental health is personal conviction and willingness to bear hardship and rejection. That is the meaning of taking up the cross each day of our lives for the greatest of causes, the salvation of souls. Read the Apostle Paul closely on this. You’ve got to be a man in the image of Christ.
Yes, and I’ve read that physical activity quells depression, to some extent. Humans were not meant to sit still all day (as animals).
Are you saying that people like cashiers and receptionists can’t be holy? Are you saying the priest spending hours listening for confession is off-track? Are you saying that the saints who got confined or bed-ridden, are not saint? Are you saying that the contemplatives are “not animal”” enough”?
Are you saying something on the relation connection between nature and grace by having “animal” as a “litmus”?
1)most people are not “saints.” I also didn’t say or infer anything about a person’s religion, occupation or holiness, that I can see
2)we are part of the animal kingdom; I was taught this back in the 70s in science class….. According to scientists, both animals and humans belong to the same kingdom Animalia.
2)I sit for a living during the day; it is not the best situation for one’s back
3)exercising is known to help with depression – that’s all I’m saying/ reminding people of:… One in 10 adults in the United States struggles with depression, and antidepressant medications are a common way to treat the condition. However, pills aren’t the only solution. Research shows that exercise is also an effective treatment. “For some people it works as well as antidepressants, although exercise alone isn’t enough for someone with severe depression,” says Dr. Michael Craig Miller, assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.
My point is that if you’re young (or old) and can exercise do it for many reasons, not the least of which is to help with battling depression. Fr. P said don’t sit in your recliner (I;ll add unless you have to) – that’s what prompted the comment
‘ The “great cloud of witnesses” in the Communion of Saints is unimaginably vast. There are many, many, many saints in heaven who will never be canonized, and who most of us will never hear of. And the number of those who have been canonized is tremendous, making it nearly impossible for anyone to learn about all of them. Of course, some saints are known and admired around the world and by people in all different religions and cultures, while others remain in utter obscurity. In many cases, these lesser-known saints may indeed have quite a lot to teach us today, if only their stories would be told. ‘
https://www.catholicworldreport.com/2025/07/26/interview-with-kevin-mckenzie/
Physical exercise and time spent in Nature can both help depression.
The harvest is great but the laborers are few.
Too many youth in our world give up too easily. As the MASH theme said, suicide is painless – but is it?
Priests need help with their duties and this may alleviate shepherding stress. You retired folks can help a lot if you’re able bodied. Don’t worry about whether you’re smart enough to pitch in just offer to help save souls in any way you’re able and let the priest do his job.
Many priests live alone and isolated in their glass walled rectories and are subject to immense temptations. We must support and pray for them.
To me, priestly suicide is a gut punch. It is a cry reaching to heaven. Please forgive my ensuing rant but its absolutely bizarre that our Church, which celebrates all things good, has forbid the primordial sacrament, marriage, for its priests since Pope Urban IV’s decree in the 11th century. Newsflash, we are created in the image and likeness of God. “It is not good for man to be alone” is not a trite observation; ‘communio’ is constitutive to our personhood. Our Triune God did not create us to be isolated monads, but persons in communion like our Godhead who is distinguished only by the relationships which unite them. Why is it that all 21 rites of our Church allow marred priests but the Latin rite does not? Clearly celibacy does not belong to the logic of the priesthood, otherwise why do we ordain married Lutheran and Anglican priest converts? Should we have celibacy freely chosen for the purpose of Pauline mission activity? Certainly! Mandated celibacy for priests living middle class lives in the midst of their parishioners? absolutely not. And its an unconscionable offense against the God given humanity of the priest. It also damages the parishioners who have to deal with the ineffective service of their priests at best, and at worst the sins of their pastors. The priest is called to be generous with his entire life, to give and to not count the cost, but he isn’t afforded the most basic companionship of all time, namely spousal communio and openness to life? Truly bizarre. How is a man expected to give what he does not have? If he is to be a source of love and healing in the midst of his parish family, yet he returns every evening to an empty rectory? Does the grace of ordination and the grace of the indwelling in the hearts and souls of the fully initiated empower us to not need marriage and family? The retort to priests who off themselves or embezzle, or go to gay bars or distract themselves with lavish lifestyles, or hide themselves from parishioner’s spiritual needs from behind self-build bureaucratic walls is that these priests are “not being spiritual enough”. If only they would “offer a daily holy hour like venerable Fulton Sheen”; or, even better, “if that poor lonely priest would only attend the monthly priest support group, he would stay on the right track”. bizarre. Where did this all begin? Mandated celibacy was a central tenant of the Great Western Schism. After Pope Urban’s Decree mandating celibacy, all pastors were give a choice to separate from their wives and children or surrender their pastorate. Pastors who chose to maintain their position and their marriages were forcibly removed from their rectories. After two decades of the the Latin Bishops forcibly removing wives and children from the pastors rectories, the Eastern Bishops broke broke for this reason (and of course for other cultural and doctrinal reasons). Our Eastern Brother Bishops could not remain with a Church enforcing draconian rules. Mandated celibacy has never worked. Some 400 years after the Great Western Schism we find a defection of thousands of Catholic priests into the Evangelical movement (later called Lutheranism) was caused in great part by these greatly spiritual priests realizing the unconscionable requirement forbidding marriage. Fast forward, in our day in age half of our priests leave to get married. Are 50% of our priests bad men? or have they been red pilled? Think of the men you know who have left the priesthood to get married. Are they just jerks? merely being selfish (after giving a decade of their life to training and another decade in service) evil? rebels? There are approximately 25k priest in the US. there are another 25K who have left. Something is not right. If you were the CEO of a large NGO which specialized in Christian Humanism and 50% of your branch managers (and upper management) quit after 8+ years of intensive training, internships, corporate retreats and continuing education workshops, do you think something is wrong? For an 18 year old devout Catholic man why does it have to be “God or the Girl”. Why not both? The last time I checked it was the Protestants with their assertion of ‘radical depravity’ that resulted in the Gnostic “either or” anthropology. We criticize Protestants for jettisoning the sacraments, and rightly so, but who are we for forbidding marriage for our corps of pastors? I’ve lost three diocesan brothers to suicide. I’ve initiated priest support groups. I’ve heard the confessions of my brother priests for over 25 years. I have served on special support teams for priests struggling with SSA. (The problem of SSA in our Church is the subject of another dissertation.) I am continually amazed at the obtuse vision of our local ordinaries; and, frankly, 99% of all successors to the Apostles. I would consider myself a devout JP generation priest, my vocation to the priesthood was inspired by His Holiness’ World Youth Day at Cherry Creek Preserve in Denver Colorado in 1991. I offer daily Mass even on my days of and on vacation from the parish. I did post grad work at JPII’s Institute for Studies in Marriage and Family. I’ve three degrees in Theology. I’ve done missionary work & retreats alongside priests in Eastern Europe, Western Europe, East Africa, Appalachia, Mexico & Central America. And I’ve concluded that the Latin ban on marriage for our clergy is demonic, providing a desert devoid of humanity where otherwise good devout and dedicated men get tripped up. And those with homoerotic temptations (which in my informal observations are about half of diocesan clergy and three quarters of religious orders) find themselves in a don’t ask don’t tell culture where it is all too easy to find a clerical hook up culture in their vicariate or the adjacent archdiocese. The more I pray and work and serve the more I see Paul of Tarsus’ word ring true…the Spirit explicitly says that in later times some will fall away from the faith, paying attention to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons…who forbid marriage…which God has created to be gratefully shared in by those who believe and know the truth. For everything created by God is good. After decades of study and pastoral ministry I’ve come to conclude that mandated celibacy is tantamount to spiritual contraception. For the past 1000 years mandated celibacy has been the gateway to contraception, sterilization, and, ultimately, the divorce culture. Sunday and after Sunday our leaders in the pulpit and on altar tell us by their celibate witness that as long as your have a good enough reason you can choose to live a solitary life with no children. So today many married couples contracept and sterilize (just like their priests) because for they too have reasons they choose to not have children. But what is our loving Father’s plan for humanity? He wants everyone one of his children to enjoy the pilgrimage of life with a companion and to find delight in the abundance of life that comes from that sacramental union.
We read: “After decades of study and pastoral ministry I’ve come to conclude that mandated celibacy is tantamount to spiritual contraception [….] For the past 1000 years mandated celibacy has been the gateway to contraception, sterilization, and, ultimately, the divorce culture. ”
Two points:
FIRST, “Poverty, chastity and obedience are not a renunciation–or worse, a condemnation–of a created ‘good,’ but a rejection of the ‘evil’ that has come to overlay that good. Therefore they are, by definition, a proclamation of the original goodness of created things. They are a way of imitating the Word of God Who, by taking flesh, too on all that belongs to human nature, but did not take on sin (cf. Heb 4:15).
“[….] The inability to understand the value of virginity, and likewise of obedience and voluntary poverty, is always a sign that the sense of sin has disappeared from the horizon of faith. It is typical of periods of acute secularization and naive optimism concerning humanity and the world.
“[….]The bond that binds the celibate and the virgin to the Lord is so total, so exclusive, that its only equivalent on the human level is when a man marries a woman” (Raniero Cantalamessa, OFM Cap, [Preacher of the Papal Household 1980-2024], “Virginity: A Positive Approach to Celibacy for the Sake of the Kingdom of Heaven,” Alba House, 1985)….Perhaps two different ways of being single-hearted? A distinct choice of distinct vocations…
SECOND, the “gateway to contraception [etc.]” was identified quite differently by dissidents at the gateway (!) 1930 Anglican Lambeth Conference, who again said their piece in 1948—only a few years before Technocracy offered the week-before pill and only a few decades before Technocracy offered the morning-after pill:
“It is, to say the least, suspicious that the age in which contraception has won its way is not one which has been conspicuously successful in managing its sexual life. Is it possible that, by claiming the right to manipulate his physical processes in this manner, man may, without knowing it, be stepping over the boundary between the world of Christian marriage and what one might call the world of Aphrodite, the world of sterile eroticism?” (Cited in Wright, “Reflections on the Third Anniversary of a Controverted Encyclical [Humanae Vitae],” St. Louis: Central Bureau Press, 1971).